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First, I'm answering #19, because it stood out to me. It's a serious/deadpan answer, but involves stuff people usually don't think about, so I think it'll still be interesting.
Dark is something we made up. It doesn't really exist. There is no such thing as "dark". What we call "dark" is merely the absence of light. Same thing with cold. You don't feel cold. No one's ever felt cold. There is no such thing as cold. When you THINK you feel cold is when you're NOT feeling heat.
***
Now, for shorter answers, still deadpan style:
1. Yes, but not for very long without dying. Of course, if you're sad enough, crying underwater may solve both your problems.
2. He does, it's just that there are no photographs and the people who draw him don't like facial hair.
3. No, chickens are too dumb to find things funny.
4. No, unless by "cross-eyed" you mean someone drilled into your head and literally crossed the 'wires' in your brain so that your eyes' reception is switched.
5. Because it's not attempted murder if you aim below the waist.
6. Selective memory.
7. Your money doesn't grow at a bank, it shrinks. Interest rates rarely keep up with the rate of inflation.
8. Wishful thinking.
9. Promoters never expected boxing fans, who are clearly more focused on the action, to read past "box".
10. Long-term planning, and/or sending a subtle message to get season passes next time.
11. Yes. The reason everything else is bad when we say it "sucks" is because other things aren't SUPPOSED to suck.
12. This Country Where We Are Right Now.
13. They used to, but stopped when scientists confirmed that doing so caused released doves to implode.
14. Different guys were working in the creative department at the time. Guess which one got fired.
15. A devious and convoluted scheme devised by people who cut corners building thin walls.
16. Because they don't start from scratch every time.
17. Only if born that way.
18. Poor man's dictionary
20. The same reason why an orange is called an orange and a carrot isn't.
21. Because words define other words, not themselves.
22. You'll be scared 3/4 to death.
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easyeboy
2. There are people groups that just don't grow much facial hair. And maybe he was trying to imitate the chimps by plucking out what little he did have?
Dyslexia--nope, you still read all wrong.
Sleeping like a baby--most babies can sleep through anything. Just at the wrong time!
Banks have branches so they can reach all the nuts.
No, a fly without wings would be called a "fall".
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Yes, but everyone will think you're laughing.
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Botox accident.
Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?
Do crows think scarecrows are funny?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Yes.
Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?
There are.
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour?
They sleep longer if you shake them.
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
It's a Christmas conspiracy.
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
Because when you get big enough, boobs connect.
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why are fingers round?
Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" when we are already there?
It's a crackerjack consipiracy.
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Yes.
What do people in China call their good plates?
China.
Do Asians throw hamburgers at their weddings since American's throw rice at theirs?
That's just dumb. Dominicans eat more rice than Asians do.
If the plural of tooth is "teeth," why isn't the plural of booth "beeth"?
If Nissan Motor Sports is called NISMO, what do we call Honda Motor Sports
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Because they're split apart by a wall?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Is it really new? Doesn't it already exist before you go look for it?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
No, it would be called spider food.
What's another word for "thesaurus"?
Word Dino?
What's the speed of dark?
Exactly the same as the speed of light.
Why does your nose RUN and your feet SMELL?
And your stomach ROLLS?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Blame the Brits. They started it.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Jump on the mushroom and you'll be fine.
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Why are they called "buildings" when they're already done building them? They should be called "builts".
Why does a shipment go by car, and cargo go by ship?
Why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
Do Spanish maps call Los Angeles "The Angels"?
Source(s):
Gallagher
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Source(s):
http://books.google.com/books?id=Nd28jX1ft74C&pg=PA38&lpg=PA38&...
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4) No, you would have a serious vision problem.
19) Dark is the absence of light, and has no speed.
22) If you halve your life twice, then you are still alive but with 1/4 of your life left. You can halve your live infinitely many times and still be alive.
Also, I have a question of my own. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
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Answered Question
M$1
December 30, 2008 06:26 PM
Does anyone know the answer to these funny questions? 22 of them, go answer them if you can!
If you can come up with the best answer for any of the following questions, you can earn a $1M tip from me. Also, if you can answer this question: Which of these is your favorite question and why?
1. Can you cry underwater?
2. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
3. Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?
4. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
5. Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?
6. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour?
7. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
8. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
9. Why is a boxing ring square?
10. Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" when we are already there?
11. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
12. What do people in China call their good plates?
13. Do Asians throw hamburgers at their weddings since American's throw rice at theirs?
14. If the plural of tooth is "teeth," why isn't the plural of booth "beeth"?
15. Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
16. Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
17. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
18. What's another word for "thesaurus"?
19. What's the speed of dark?
20. Why does your nose RUN and your feet SMELL?
21. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
22. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
1. Can you cry underwater?
2. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
3. Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?
4. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
5. Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?
6. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour?
7. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
8. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
9. Why is a boxing ring square?
10. Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" when we are already there?
11. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
12. What do people in China call their good plates?
13. Do Asians throw hamburgers at their weddings since American's throw rice at theirs?
14. If the plural of tooth is "teeth," why isn't the plural of booth "beeth"?
15. Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
16. Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
17. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
18. What's another word for "thesaurus"?
19. What's the speed of dark?
20. Why does your nose RUN and your feet SMELL?
21. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
22. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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Best Answer Chosen by Asker
| December 30, 2008 06:59 PM |
Dark is something we made up. It doesn't really exist. There is no such thing as "dark". What we call "dark" is merely the absence of light. Same thing with cold. You don't feel cold. No one's ever felt cold. There is no such thing as cold. When you THINK you feel cold is when you're NOT feeling heat.
***
Now, for shorter answers, still deadpan style:
1. Yes, but not for very long without dying. Of course, if you're sad enough, crying underwater may solve both your problems.
2. He does, it's just that there are no photographs and the people who draw him don't like facial hair.
3. No, chickens are too dumb to find things funny.
4. No, unless by "cross-eyed" you mean someone drilled into your head and literally crossed the 'wires' in your brain so that your eyes' reception is switched.
5. Because it's not attempted murder if you aim below the waist.
6. Selective memory.
7. Your money doesn't grow at a bank, it shrinks. Interest rates rarely keep up with the rate of inflation.
8. Wishful thinking.
9. Promoters never expected boxing fans, who are clearly more focused on the action, to read past "box".
10. Long-term planning, and/or sending a subtle message to get season passes next time.
11. Yes. The reason everything else is bad when we say it "sucks" is because other things aren't SUPPOSED to suck.
12. This Country Where We Are Right Now.
13. They used to, but stopped when scientists confirmed that doing so caused released doves to implode.
14. Different guys were working in the creative department at the time. Guess which one got fired.
15. A devious and convoluted scheme devised by people who cut corners building thin walls.
16. Because they don't start from scratch every time.
17. Only if born that way.
18. Poor man's dictionary
20. The same reason why an orange is called an orange and a carrot isn't.
21. Because words define other words, not themselves.
22. You'll be scared 3/4 to death.
| Asker's Rating: |
• Very well thought out! There were a lot of great answers here!
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easyeboy
December 31, 2008 02:53 AM
Good, very on target!
Tip easyeboy for this comment
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Other Answers (7)
December 30, 2008 06:42 PM
1. Yes, but it gets really diluted really fast, and you'd better not sob--or have a scuba tank! 2. There are people groups that just don't grow much facial hair. And maybe he was trying to imitate the chimps by plucking out what little he did have?
Dyslexia--nope, you still read all wrong.
Sleeping like a baby--most babies can sleep through anything. Just at the wrong time!
Banks have branches so they can reach all the nuts.
No, a fly without wings would be called a "fall".
Permalink | Report
Reply
December 30, 2008 06:46 PM
Can you cry underwater? Yes, but everyone will think you're laughing.
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Botox accident.
Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?
Do crows think scarecrows are funny?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Yes.
Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?
There are.
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour?
They sleep longer if you shake them.
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
It's a Christmas conspiracy.
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
Because when you get big enough, boobs connect.
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why are fingers round?
Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" when we are already there?
It's a crackerjack consipiracy.
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Yes.
What do people in China call their good plates?
China.
Do Asians throw hamburgers at their weddings since American's throw rice at theirs?
That's just dumb. Dominicans eat more rice than Asians do.
If the plural of tooth is "teeth," why isn't the plural of booth "beeth"?
If Nissan Motor Sports is called NISMO, what do we call Honda Motor Sports
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Because they're split apart by a wall?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Is it really new? Doesn't it already exist before you go look for it?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
No, it would be called spider food.
What's another word for "thesaurus"?
Word Dino?
What's the speed of dark?
Exactly the same as the speed of light.
Why does your nose RUN and your feet SMELL?
And your stomach ROLLS?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Blame the Brits. They started it.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Jump on the mushroom and you'll be fine.
Permalink | Report
Reply
December 30, 2008 06:56 PM
not gonna answer, but I'll add my questions to the list: Why are they called "buildings" when they're already done building them? They should be called "builts".
Why does a shipment go by car, and cargo go by ship?
Why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
Do Spanish maps call Los Angeles "The Angels"?
Source(s):
Gallagher
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Reply
December 30, 2008 06:58 PM
Tarzan developed slowly and did not have to shave until he was 20 years old. He obtained his first knife at the age of 10, and generally was armed with a knife thereafter, with which he shaved.
Source(s):
http://books.google.com/books?id=Nd28jX1ft74C&pg=PA38&lpg=PA38&...
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December 30, 2008 11:42 PM
These are all rhetorical questions, and they're funny enough without an answer, however... 4) No, you would have a serious vision problem.
19) Dark is the absence of light, and has no speed.
22) If you halve your life twice, then you are still alive but with 1/4 of your life left. You can halve your live infinitely many times and still be alive.
Also, I have a question of my own. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
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