People grieve in different ways and for different lengths of time. You have to ask yourself if the sadness over your son's death is negatively impacting your life or any of your relationships. If so, you may need to speak with a professional.

Some parents use the death of their children to start something positive and help others as in the case with the MADD organization. This organization, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, was started after the founder's daughter was killed by a drunk driver, in case you didn't know. I know a lady who has dedicated a webpage to her son who died when he was about 9 years old. This is her outlet. Find something that helps you cope positively with his death. I'm sure your son would want you living life to its fullest.

I can't stress enough though how important it is for you to share your feelings with someone close to you. People with social support deal with tragedies better than people without social support.

Forums: http://gonebutnotforgotten.wordpress.com/loss-of-a-child/

http://www.lossofachild.org/

There is no answer to this question. You have suffered a great loss. A loss that you will carry with you every single day of your life. I have not lost a child of my own, but my sister died when I was a teenager and a child that I considered to be my adopted son died in a car accident 15 years ago.

In my experience I have found that I have good days, and bad days. It is OK to feel sad and depressed some of the time, but not all of the time. You must allow yourself the freedom to be happy. It is OK to feel happy and to experience joy. Your son would want you to be happy. Without great loss no one would even know what happiness is.

What was your son'spassion? What were his dreams? Is there an organization or hobby that he loved? Often doing things or donating time in a field that our loved one was passionate about helps us to heal. It makes us feel good.

Talk about your son, talk about how you feel. Maybe you could start a support group for parents that have just lost their child. They will look at you in amazement, for you have survived[ 8 years. You can help them while helping yourself.

Allow yourself to have bad days and moments, but do not give up on your own life, I am sure that you have much to share and contribute.

Once a year we hold an Honorary Golf Tournament because Rob loved to golf. Mind you none of his friends and family are golfers, so it is just a bunch of us out there hacking the ball, but it is fun and we all get to tell stories and "Remember When". It is a time that a whole bunch of people that lost a great person in their lives get to laugh, cry and be angry all together in one place. It helps us to heal.

If you are so depressed that you are unable to function at all, you should definitely seek professional help.
They can help.

Also, here is a great resource for parents who have lost children:
http://www.beyondindigo.com/articles/article.php/artID/200488

My very best to you, take one step at a time, hour by hour, day by day and give yourself the permission to feel joy.

I agree with the above answer, grief is very personal and different for different people. You may find solace in a support group, if not MADD, another group geared toward grief, if you are religious you may appreciate one that is within your belief system. IF you are not religious you may feel more comfortable in a group that is secular. Sometimes hospitals are aware of groups that meet for grief.

Some people get through their grief by channeling energies into projects such as the ladies who founded MADD. Not everyone does.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Speaking as the mother of a child who died over 17 years ago... no. You don't get "over" it, but eventually the grief should ease up from time to time. It still comes back, but the times you can function and relate normally with other people should get longer, until the grief no longer eclipses your day-to-day thinking. At eight years, you should have experienced some of this returning normalcy.

If grief and depression are still such frequent companions that they are wearing you down, please start by seeing your doctor. Let your doctor decide if medication, specifically antidepressants, are appropriate for you right now. They can help in a lot of ways. At the very least, it can give you relief from the habit of being in pain. If your doctor is not confident with these medications, get a referral to a psychiatrist--one who can explain to you what the medications do and help you to get the right one and to adjust the dose. The first one doesn't always work well--and you'll need your doctor to evaluate whether it is working appropriately.

Second, find a therapist--one experienced in depression, grief, and possibly PTSD. Don't be shy if you don't have confidence in a therapist. Find one who seems to be able to get a handle on your situation. There are a lot of counselors out there who say they have experience with depression, but simply don't appreciate the complications of grief and trauma.

Third... find support. Family and friends are one option, but grief and depression of the magnitude that the death of a child can bring on is often more than one untrained person can bear. If there is a church in your area with a Stephen Ministry, you might contact them. Although their approach is distinctly Christian, Stephen ministers are specially trained in listening and in confidentiality. You can also look for a support group. Compassionate Friends is a national network of support groups made up specifically of people whose children have died. They may have a local chapter in your area.

Finally, my friend, there are books. I highly recommend "When Bad Things Happen to Good People." In it, the author thoughtfully discusses many of the things people say, what they intend when they say them, and explains why these comments may not help.

Death of a child causes terrible psychic injury, there is no shame in seeking help any time it overwhelms you. But you have to make the choice to seek help and to fight the depression. It can't be fought for you.

I am in the same boat... My infant son passed away of SIDS August 8th of this year. He was only 6wks old. He was a twin and I am so paranoid that something is going to happen to his sister so I dont get any sleep. I am so depressed. I think about him everyday. I blame myself. Im trying to deal with it but its hard. People try to be polite and say they understand or they know what your going through but unless they have loss a child they have no idea. I have to be strong for my two girls but I am in pain. He was my only son. I had went through IVF to conceive all three of my children and I cant afford to go through another cycle, even if I wanted to but I dont. I dont know what to do and I feel crazy talking to people about which is why I havent gone to see a psychiatrist. I tried to go on with my life and put it behind me but I cant.