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patrick23 patrick23
 

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M$1.00  Funded By Mahalo ? |  May 05, 2009 05:07 AM

This isn't really a question. I just wanted to hear people's thoughts on this? Did I react ok?

Ok, so I have kind of a weird story. I'll make it short, but I have to tell it. It's kind of strange. I was in Target in my home town and I noticed this teenage girl and her mom were in the same aisle as me looking at some items. I didn't think anything of it at the time and when I glanced at the 2 of them, it just looked like a young girl and her mom. The girl was probably about 12 or 13 and she was wearing a pink shirt and a denim mini skirt. Anyway, I went back to do what I was doing. Why would I pay attention to 2 seemingly ordinary people?
All of a sudden, the young girl spoke to her mom and her voice sounded a little low for a girl's voice. I turned back around and looked at the girl, and when I suddenly caught a quick glimpse at her facial features, I started to wonder...
Just then, her mom caught me looking at her, and so did she! The girl's face turned red, and she looked away, and the mom started yelling at me: "Don't stare at my son! And don't judge him! He can't help that he's different!"
I quickly looked away and got really nervous. That teenage girl was a boy and I felt bad for embarassing him...HER!
So, after a moment of uncomfortable silence I turned around and apologized to the girl, (boy), and her mom, and to make the "transgendered" boy feel better, I told him not to worry. I don't judge! Then I said that she made a very pretty looking GIRL and that made her happy!
Normally, I wouldn't tell a story like this, but this boy, "GIRL," was in public and was taking an awful risk. I'm not a naive person. I realize stuff like this happens in the world, but I wanted to post this because I wanted to hear others' thought. What do you all think about this experience I encountered?
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morriss003 morriss003
 
May 05, 2009 05:38 AM
It sounds like you handled it appropriately. The mother would have been better served by saying the same thing in a conversational tone of voice. The world is a weird place. At least we are not stoning or send a kid like that to a mental institution anymore. At least not here.

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venusarms venusarms
 
May 05, 2009 05:38 AM
You did the right thing.
Everyone has crap we put out there for the world to see. If I were to walk around in a Boba Fett costume, people would stare because it's not what they expect to see, and I would bring that on myself. I don't have to show off that I am different, I choose to, just like the boy in the skirt. I think his mom owes you an apology. She should be comfortable enough with him not to lash out at you because she is uncomfortable. Apologizing to them was a bold and honorable move.
Where I live this would not have been unusual at all. Sometimes people who "don't fit in" need to shove it at you so you feel as uncomfortable as they do. It just means they are not confident with who they are.


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patrick23 patrick23
 
May 06, 2009 03:26 AM
I like the statements you made here, but the picture is not accurate. This boy actually looked like agirl...not a boy in a mini skirt! Sure, I know what you are driving at with the pictures of the guy in the tutu, but he has short hair and looks like a guy wearing a tutu.
The boy...GIRL...i saw had pretty, curly long blonde hair, shaved legs, and acted and walked like a girl.
like i said...until i heard her talk, i was fooled.
and even then, she was yound enough, she hadn't gone through puberty yet as a guy or girl, so the voice was squeaky and high, BUT even a younger boy's voice is easy to tell than a girl's voice.
honestly, she didn't look like a boy in drag. she looked like a cute little girl. i was just kind of embarassed that i upset her when i glanced back at her after she spoke. nonetheless, i think the mom may have been a tad defensive. i wasn't judgemental at all.

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venusarms venusarms
 
May 06, 2009 04:11 AM
I know and I meant no offense. I try to use humor to keep things in perspective. I mean, how are any of us supposed to coexist when we are all so flawed and confusing? By embracing the lighter side of our struggle, that's how! The person in your story has a lot of tough situations ahead and I hope they all go like this one did, but the best thing he can do is not take himself too seriously. If you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at?
That dude in the tutu.

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hushnow hushnow
 
May 05, 2009 09:49 PM
I feel bad for the mom. I think it's great that she's come to accept her son they way she is, but it also sounds like they have been through a lot- maybe with family members, or friends.

I think it's great that you complimented her on her looks, and I think it's great that they accepted it. At the same time, I am surprised that the mom didn't take it as a sarcastic statement. I guess if you are sincere about it it's okay.

Good for you with keeping your cool!!

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momojet momojet
 
May 05, 2009 09:57 PM
What you did was not only awesome, but you should be proud of yourself for doing such an act of kindness. I too was introduced to a teenager I assumed was a "girl" until the father said "my son John". I was absolutely shocked that I was staring at a young teen male that was dressed, walked and talked like a female. I said nice to meet you, we shook hands, and I commented how cute her(his) jacket was. I did not judge the parents, nor did I judge the teenager. We are all human in the end, and I believe one act of kindness to someone could actually save their life!

Good job again, and hats off to you :)

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Helpful: venusarms

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venusarms venusarms
 
May 06, 2009 04:13 AM
Word.

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