This is a bit self-serving... Why don't you both go see a professional. That will give you a safe environment to say what you need to say. The professional will also give you space to to tell him what you want...

Of course, this will work both ways...
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If he is that dense, you need a new boy friend. You are too good for him.
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First off, I should warn you that people do not change, in general. You may be able to get someone who is treating you inappropriately to change for a little bit, but most will revert to the same behavior once they start taking you for granted again.

However, the most direct way to change someone is to let him know directly what your feelings are on the issue (be somewhat blunt), and tell him that he needs to change. Guys that care, and have been misinterpreting your level of comfort in the relationship, will usually respond positively. If he does not change his ways, leave the relationship.

You can use a form of relationship blackmail (threaten to leave), but that will likely not be necessary - if he doesn't change when you ask him to, he never will. In fact, it will cause him resentment, which may cause him to treat you worse. If you end up marrying him, he will likely take the opportunity to perpetrate his own relationship blackmail.
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G'day Woobiemay,

Thank you for your question.

You need to sit down with him and calmly explain what the problem is. You will also need to try and listen to what he says. Relationship counselling may also prove useful.

Hopefully, he will understand what you are saying and change his ways. You may also need to take his criticisms on board.

I hope that it works out for you both.

Regards
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I think in your heart you already know the answer. No, you cannot make another person value people and treat others right as it has to with emotional, mental and spiritual health of a person.

Some realize their poor health n these areas and change other s do not.
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Pack your bags, girl, there is no hope here. The man may be wonderful for somebody else, but if you have to ask us this question, it is never going to be paradise for you. Leave him before you convince yourself it is your fault, and before you convince yourself it is his fault: sometimes, things do not work because what people need and value is too different. They call it compatibility. You cannot work at that: it is the basis.
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How badly is he treating you? Is he just an inconsiderate slob or is he verbally/emotionally/physically abusive? Here are links to a couple of quizzes to assess the situation:

http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/abusequiz.shtml
http://centerforsurvivors.net/site/?page_id=34

I sincerely hope for that your relationship is not even slightly abusive and that your boyfriend will be more considerate toward you after you make him aware of your feelings. However, if your relationship is even moderately abusive, get out now and contact your local domestic violence agency or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Sorry if I seem like an alarmist, I hope he's just leaving the seat up on the toilet or something that is easily remedied.
Source(s):
16 years of working with domestic violence and sexual assault survivors and, unfortunately, some who did not survive.

http://www.ndvh.org/

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Sit down with him and explain what actions he is doing that cause you to feel mistreated. Men are problem solvers. Give him something he can fix. Also, realize that we all carry emotional baggage that causes us to overreact or amplify a bad situation. You may need to do some soul searching to find out why you are letting yourself feel mistreated. If you can find and deal with the the root cause of your own personal unhappiness your boyfriend wont have to change - the only person who can is you.

Check out Barbara De Angelis and her books for more info on relationships. http://www.barbaradeangelis.com/
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Right now I'm guessing that you really would like some empathy, that some one would listen to you and hear how sad and difficult it is for you to be heard and listened to by your boyfriend. Is that how you fell right now?

The short answer to your question is to follow the link to cnvc and to find the trainer closest to you and call that person. These people are experts in solving situations like this.

It sounds like you really would like him to listen to you and to understand you? A realy really powerfull way is using 'Non-Violent Communication'. It offers you a possibility to help you to be heard without him reacting aggressive or defensive.
So, this is an example: instead of saying to him; "You're cold!" You could say to him, "I need more warmth, would you hold me in your arms?" Both statements are comming from the same place inside you; you wanting more connection and intimacy with him. My suggestion is that you use the last statement because thats the one that HE can hear without himself feeling attaced.
Another example; "I want you to stop hurting me and to be more grown-up and responsible!" This could be said in another way that could be easyer for him to hear; "When you call me 'bitch' I feel really sad because I'm longing for safety and respect in my relationship with you; How does that sound to you?"

One thing I can garantee you: The more you telll him what he's doing wrong and how bad he is, the more you will loose that heartful connection with him. And it is the heartful connection that will lead both of you to a place where your needs can be met.

I have been that boyfriend myself, so I have empathy for both him and you. I truly know how tough a situation you could be in ;-( I guess he might have some difficulty in talking about feelings. Maybe he's only angry or happy as the only feelings he can express? The good news is that things CAN change, so I hope for you that you'll use the link and find the help you need to get your needs met!
Source(s):
www.cnvc.org

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Talk to him about how he is making you feel. Tell him its hurting you and you want better or you might leave. This will put him in his place.
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