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irishstep... irishstep...
 

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M$1.00  Funded By Mahalo ? |  March 10, 2009 09:47 PM

Is it okay (or wise) to date an exotic dancer?

I keep telling my friend NOT to ask this girl out as dancers are hard to date! Can yall back me up?? Is there anyone out there that can support my friend? Let the debate begin...
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nativenerd nativenerd
 
 March 11, 2009 12:00 AM
Just remember, sometimes you "Do what you gotta, so you can do what you wanna"...it's a means to an end. And in all honestly, if I were a woman(and even slightly attractive) I would consider dancing...in the right situation, they can make a killing. With more people feeling the financial pinch, it's becoming less and less taboo...

A few tips to think about:
1. If he's the jealous type, it won't work. Plain and simple.
2. He needs to know if she does go for him, she's not interested in "working" while outside the club. He needs to treat her as he would any other woman.
3. I would advise he should NOT go see her at work...it will only piss him off and make her uncomfortable.
4. Careful on any smart alek remarks or jokes...she's probably going to be on edge about this as he is.
5. Like littleghost said, make sure he isn't just being hustled while in the club...if she is willing to see him outside, then this most likely isn't the case.
6. Tell him to enjoy...most of the girls have "seen the strings" when it comes to life...they give a rather unique perspective that most the spoiled girls walking around just can't...leads to interesting conversations.
Source(s):
Dated a few in my life.

Asker's Rating:
• Your absolutely right - I'll tell him, but I'm afraid he's getting hustled.
Thank God I'm married and no longer have to play "the game" know what I mean? This poor guy is kinda snowed. I think in all of the points you made I can answer a fairly confident "no" to (aside from the smart jokes, that's just plain mean).
I'll opass this along and hopefully he'll understand she's just not that into him - but she loves his $$$...
Thanks man.


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stacy90802 stacy90802
 
March 11, 2009 08:10 PM
All the answers here, including the best answer, are generalizations. The only people who can answer this question are the guy and his dancer girlfriend. Without specifics, without knowing what is going on in the minds and hearts of these two individual human beings, any outside "advice" is at worst meddling, and at best a laying out of what the "odds" might be ("Odds are she may do this or that..."). But just like knowing the odds does not predict the outcome (flipping a coin has 50-50 odds, but doesn't predict the next coin toss), having a sense of what "could happen, generally," does not mean a thing when applied to two specific human beings. Why not just let them play out their relationship. There are no shortcuts to real love; you have to go through the chaff to find the wheat.

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toofat2ser... toofat2ser...
 
March 10, 2009 09:52 PM
There is no reason to NOT date one, provided the following:

This is a relationship with a solid foundation built on something other than stuffing bills in her panties

You friend doesn't' have even the slightest hint of a jealous streak.

Exotic dancers are, first and foremost, women. They are working at a job. They may or may not enjoy that job. They are not lesser people because of their profession. It does not automatically make them a slut, skank, ho, bitch, or any other derogatory description of a female.

And especially in this economy, I wouldn't hold hold anything against a woman in that line of work. Gotta pay the bills, one way or another.

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kempy kempy
 
March 10, 2009 10:08 PM
no way .... some dancers have no choice but to do that job and there all a person regardless of what job they do... he should go for it ........... maty be he gets a free lap dance lol

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littleghos... littleghos...
 
March 10, 2009 11:02 PM
If he can handle it, there's no reason not to. But he may think he can handle it, then realize he can't. Working the room is probably part of her job, and that won't be easy for him.

But, it's crucial that he's actually "dating" this girl. Meaning, he sees her OUTSIDE of the establishment she works at. I know how stupid that sounds, but I once knew a guy who was "dating" a dancer for several months that he only saw at her club. We tried to explain to him that they were not in fact "dating", that he was simply her biggest fan. But no, he wasn't prepared to listen to that. I've discovered over the years of telling this story that the situation is not that uncommon. So... keep an eye out for that!

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stacy90802 stacy90802
 
March 11, 2009 08:21 PM
Good point! Delusional thinking definitely should be looked into. And while we're giving things a deeper look, perhaps the "friend" is the questioner himself, who is considering a serious extra-marital fling. ... certainly not the first or last married guy with a roving eye .... which raises an even more essential question: Can men actually be monogamous, or does the genetic imperative to reproduce compel non-monogamy? ... and if that is the case, is monogamous marriage itself an unrealistic institution in light of human nature?

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