Warning About Love & Relationships Questions
|
Mahalo Answers is a great place to start your research into Love & Relationships questions, but it's not the final answer. Mahalo Answers is not a substitute for informed professional advice. If you desire or require professional advice, please consult a qualified provider who is licensed in your state or country. You should always seek independent professional advice before acting on any opinion, advice, or information available on Mahalo Answers. The Love & Relationships category may contain adult content. If you are under 18 years old or may be offended by adult content, don't enter this category. |
answered question
0
Votes
Votes
2
Answers
Answers
M$0.25
I'm so depressed an i have two small kids a job bills out of control and I've been single not one date in over 2yrs.What do I do seriously?
I come out of an abusive relationship i was on depressant pills but i stopped taking them because i didn't want to get addicted to them.Once my husband decided he wanted to be a Pimp that was pretty much the end of us which to me is kinda of funny after putting up with 5yrs of abuse it took pimping to give me the courage to walk away.He was happy to leave after he left we found out i was pregnant with my second child in the begining he took care of the house meaninig paid bills gave us money for food and for me to get my son clothes but i guess he started messing with someone and he had to take acre of her family and her kids and that was pretty much us for his family.While in the hospital he's calling me his first babies mama name and making deals on the phone until i finally throwed him out.My siser called him back once it was time for my baby girl to come but once she was here it was back to work pimping whores.He didn't even wait until i got a room before leaving.Since then everything has been down hill from that point we never did get back together but he still tried to run my house there were a few times he tried to fight but i told him and my kids that he 'WOULD NOT EVER PUT HIS HANDS ON ME AGAIN". I refuse to let to raise my kids in a situation like that.Eventually he stopped taking care of us we got put i went to live with my mother but that didn't work out so my two kids and i ended up in a shelter where we stayed for awhile and just as the people were starting to help us he wanted me to leave because he didn't want his kids there and he put us in a hotel.Stupid me he stopped paying after about a week if that and there we were again back on the streets i spent the first night up all night in a friends room trying to figure out what to do.His sister offered us a place to stay but i couldn't get in touch with her until the next day.We stayed with his sister for awhile she only asked for help with the lights an that's what he gave her i finally found work and started looking for me a place to stay,his sister and i had a big fallen out of course over a man to bad because she wasthe only part of his family that i really did like she told it like it was but that's another story.After finding two places and losing them both i'm in my place now where i have been for over a year with "NO HELP FROM HIM" oh i'm sorry with in a year's time he gave me i think $600.00 $400.00 one time and then $200.00 the second which i have reciepts for.While together my Dr. noticed that i was unstable and he gave me some pills once but i had to stop taking them he sent me to seek help they also gave me some pills .I took those for awhile but i have this thing with pills that say on the front label that they can be habit forming after awhile i will just stop taking them.Right now m kids father is serving 3 yrs in prison for a trafficking charge and once again I'm let to do it all by myself.On top of that he writes me telling me not to ask him for any money when he gets out because he needs time to get his self together right now the only person taking care of him is his girlfriend "NO ONE ELSE".I'm going crazy dealing with him on top of that my son Loves his father to death not so much my daughter she knows who he is by a picture but she doesn't know him like my son.I don't speak bad about him to them other than the fact my son thinks his name is Loser but they both have pictures of him in there rooms and when asked a question in regards to him i answer up until April when he didn't acknowledge my son's birthday at all not a letter a card Nothing. I now refuse to let my son ask me any questions or even talk about him to me. I say that your father could've wrote to you on your birthday and he didn't there fore i don't want to talk about him.My son is only 5yrs old and i know that might be to much for me but i think it's alittle better than down grading his father to him which i never do.He tells me that we are divorced now when i haven't signed any papers Hell I haven't seen any papers for that matter i can't put him on child support while he's locked up but i can get divorced without seeing or signing any paper work.I can go on and on with this mess i just want to be a Good Mother a Better Mother but i'm so drained from all this still because after all that he has done and believe me there is a both worth of stuff as much as i Hate him i Love him even more.I haven't been out with a man in over 2yrs i'm not sure why . I don't think that i'm ugly i know i've put on some weight since having my daughter but i don't need my own t.v. show or nothing at first it was me wanting to take care of my kids they were to young for some one to come into ther lives now they are 2yrs n 5yrs and they can talk i think it time but i still have this wall up.My husband has been through many many woman an i still feel like i'm doing something wrong if somebody tries to talk to me.I come up with all kind of excuses why i shouldn't talk to them.I know my husband and i are not right for each other and i have a long list of if he wouldn't do this or be like this it will work out ,but then who would he be i think he needed help along time ago as much as we would like to think people change i don't think he will ever be one of those people.I'm tired of my kids seeing me crying every other night i'm tired of this hold that he has on me which he knows nothing about.I tired of not living my life to it's full potential and dragging my kids down with me.Dr. Phil what do i do?How at 38 do I get out of this slump I'm in and learn to live again and should i go back to depression medicine?Please i know i'm one of million writers and i'll wait as long as i have to for a respond my life nor my kids life is in any danger they are my world so pleae don't think this is a cry out in fear of what i may do i'm just tired of being alone and tired of being in Love with a Loser. "PLEASE HELP"
Your faithful veiwer
MS. Down and out in Orlando,Fla.
Thank you for your time....
Your faithful veiwer
MS. Down and out in Orlando,Fla.
Thank you for your time....
|
Report
answers (2)
Move forward for now.
Dont let negative thoughts control your mindstate for a start...
Write a list of positives on a peice of paper.
Then list your financial problems down to the exact amount and get clarity on your whole situation,
Forget about him for now devote your effort, time and energy on just the kids and yourself.
You're probably beautiful so wait until later to worry about relationships.
you can aqquire that when your on your feet.
when your feeling accomplished and independent you will beam of confidence
and in turn will be more likely to attract a respectful guy that will treat you more equaly.(good guys dont control confident, strong woman)
If youre finding it hard to work and raise the kids involve them with enterprising, Whatever it is it could be anything, But it will have an everlasting effect on your situation and your childrens capacity to earn and enterprize. not to mention your relationship with them.
also feed that burning desire to out do him it will raise morale.
Keep positive and know that good things take time and effort,
Accept the present time and know you create your experience through thought.
If you want it go and take it.
Dont let negative thoughts control your mindstate for a start...
Write a list of positives on a peice of paper.
Then list your financial problems down to the exact amount and get clarity on your whole situation,
Forget about him for now devote your effort, time and energy on just the kids and yourself.
You're probably beautiful so wait until later to worry about relationships.
you can aqquire that when your on your feet.
when your feeling accomplished and independent you will beam of confidence
and in turn will be more likely to attract a respectful guy that will treat you more equaly.(good guys dont control confident, strong woman)
If youre finding it hard to work and raise the kids involve them with enterprising, Whatever it is it could be anything, But it will have an everlasting effect on your situation and your childrens capacity to earn and enterprize. not to mention your relationship with them.
also feed that burning desire to out do him it will raise morale.
Keep positive and know that good things take time and effort,
Accept the present time and know you create your experience through thought.
If you want it go and take it.
source(s):
brainwave
brainwave
tags: getoutofrut
This site is not affiliated with Dr. Phil in anyway, and he will not see your letter from here. If you're interested in emailing him or his show, this is the contact page from his site:
http://drphil.com/contact_main/
Also, while it is good to explain your situation thoroughly, you may want to consider making it a bit shorter if you email his show. The people who read his emails likely read LOTS of mail and probably won't have the time to read such a long letter. You may want to just focus on the highlights: abusive relationship, pimp ex-husband, etc.
That being said, it sounds like it was a blessing in disguise that you are free from such an unhealthy relationship. You sound like an intelligent woman who deserves much better. You may want to try to find a counselor that you can talk about these things with and help guide you on your new path. Try to be as positive as possible. Good luck!
http://drphil.com/contact_main/
Also, while it is good to explain your situation thoroughly, you may want to consider making it a bit shorter if you email his show. The people who read his emails likely read LOTS of mail and probably won't have the time to read such a long letter. You may want to just focus on the highlights: abusive relationship, pimp ex-husband, etc.
That being said, it sounds like it was a blessing in disguise that you are free from such an unhealthy relationship. You sound like an intelligent woman who deserves much better. You may want to try to find a counselor that you can talk about these things with and help guide you on your new path. Try to be as positive as possible. Good luck!
voted helpful: lesliec
Related questions
140 characters left
ask any question
