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Answered Question
M$1
September 10, 2009 01:57 AM
How much time have you spent finding love?
I'm curious about how much time people spend or have spent on dating and relationships before finding their soul mate.
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| September 10, 2009 03:34 AM |
I counsel a lot of clients who are single or divorced and who are desperate to find someone. They have tried online dating, looking for someone at church, and speed dating. They have tried everything possible and no such luck. I really think that if you are looking too hard for it that it won't happen. I think other people can pick up on desperation and it is off putting so the best thing to do is be open to love and relationships but not to push it or force it to happen. That tends to block opportunities. You have to be comfortable with yourself and be ok with who you are instead of feeling like you are not whole until you find someone else. We have to be happy with ourselves first before we can enter into a relationship because we just can't expect someone else to make us happy. If you are not happy alone, you won't be happy in a relationship because relationships don't fix you. So focus on improving yourself and being healthy and then that attracts other people to you then you don't have to search for love; it comes to you.
Hope that helps
Source(s):
personal experience and psychological counseling experience
http://weblogs.cltv.com/features/health/livinghealthy/HEART%20LOU.jpg
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Other Answers (11)
September 10, 2009 02:34 AM
Love works in mysterious ways. You can't go looking for love because you wont find it. love kind of just hits you in the face you just know when you love someone. I dated a guy for 4 years and thought i was so in love with him and thought that was the guy i would marry, turns out after 4 years i really didnt know the guy at all. Know ive been dating a guy for less than a year and i just know he's the one. I guess you just keep dating people and then one day your soul mate comes into your life and "hits you in the face". Be patient with love, dont rush anything. Dont force something to be, if its meant to be it will find its way. I hope this helps :)
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September 10, 2009 03:47 AM
Zero. I gave up on that a long time ago. The problem with working the careers I did were screwed up working hours and the real threat of death on the job. I applaud people who can survive being married to a police officer / fire fighter. At the time, I felt it best not to pursue a relationship with anyone, when there were no guarantees that I'd survive to the end of my shift.
Once I left that career, most of the "eligible" people I met weren't as interested in me as they were in my salary and benefit package and usually came with "baggage" in the form of multiple children by different partners.
Even now, I'm extremely reluctant to tell people I meet in person that I work in television. It's a cliché, but truthfully, I get all kinds of questions along the lines of "Are they looking for ..." "Do you meet famous people?" "I bet you make big money, don't you?" "Who can I talk to about this idea for a show..."
I'm cordial to people, but I also let them know that if I meet them at work, the relationship will remain professional. I've seen way too many of the "romance in the workplace gone sour" instances in which people have lost their jobs. Since I NEED my job, and I am not someone who is "independently wealthy", I put the brakes on any interest with anyone I come into contact with at work.
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September 10, 2009 04:03 AM
I found my soulmate in 6th grade. I know how silly that sounds but, it's true. He was my first kiss and I can still tell you details of that day including the peck that I thought would bind us forever. We dated of and on all through high school even experiencing my first intimate relationship with him. We parted ways at the end of senior year and he never left my mind. I would ask friends about him and pray for just a sign he was doing ok in life. It felt like a part of me was missing. Fast forward 18 years. My marriage was pretty much over, and I was all alone in the devastation when I recieved an email on Myspace from him. Just a simple, " Is that you?" As it turns out he had been asking about me, and going through a difficult marriage, and had filed for divorce.
You would've thought there had been no lapse in time when we began exhchange emails, then phone calls. We have been together now 8 months and everyday I fall more and more in love with him. He is my best friend as well as the soul mate I had lost years ago. Between us we have 8 children (me 5, him 3). They get along as if they have always known each other.
I guess we had to experience life and learn from our mistakes in order to grow as a couple. So to answer your question, I personally have always known who my soulmate was, it just took God's timing (23 years total) to come full circle.
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September 10, 2009 05:40 PM
You don't really 'find' love... it just comes into your life. Love comes when you least expect it. Though you try hard to search for the right one, if that soul mate isn't for you to be found yet, it wouldn't appear yet. Each of us have to wait for different amount of time. We couldn't really tell how long we have to spend finding the right love. Some people meet their soul mate earlier than others while some really takes a while before seeing theirs. It differs. So we can't really tell.
I think there's no definite answer to your question after all. You just have to be patient and just move along with your life until you find the perfect partner for you. ^^
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Voted as best: psionandy, shadowbear
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September 10, 2009 11:58 PM
Well honestly, I was like you i wondered how long it was going to take to find my soul mate. For me it did not take long at all, im very young and in college. I dated a while my first and second year of college and I wasn't meeting the right men. I dated so many men it was hard trying to keep up with them. So I thought I had found the right guy, my mr. right, but he turned out to be a jerk big time. So I decided to stop dating for a while, I thought if I'm supposed to be in a relationship i will let love find me instead of me following it. Then one day out of the blue during my second year in college within the spring semester, I was walking out of my dance class, and i see a group of my friendss hanging right outside. I noticed this guy that i have never seen before on campus or hangin with my friends, so i ws hesitating to walk over, and eventually i did. Let's just say if i would have never walked over this gguy would not be talking to me about getting engaged now. All i can say is let love find you, don't try to find it or you will be searching a long time to find something that is not there... well i hope u find my answer helpful...
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September 11, 2009 04:16 AM
finding love huh? well im still in the process of looking but ive been in quite a few realtionships looking for mr. right...but he still hasnt showed up. my guess is the time ppl spend looking is varried. i know ppl who knew as young as 10 who their soul mate was, and ppl as old as 57 still looking. hope that helps :)
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