Ask questions via twitter! Message any question to @answers on twitter. We'll publish the question and send you a reply each time there's a new answer.

Warning About Love & Relationships Questions


 

Mahalo Answers is a great place to start your research into Love & Relationships questions, but it's not the final answer.

Mahalo Answers is not a substitute for informed professional advice. If you desire or require professional advice, please consult a qualified provider who is licensed in your state or country. You should always seek independent professional advice before acting on any opinion, advice, or information available on Mahalo Answers.

The Love & Relationships category may contain adult content. If you are under 18 years old or may be offended by adult content, don't enter this category.

 
 


Next Question

Answered Question

eatthatpo... eatthatpo...
 

Mahalo is adding a tip to all questions that don't offer a tip.
M$1.00  Funded By Mahalo ? |  March 15, 2009 04:49 AM

HELP! How can I prevent my life from being so pathetic?

Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and ask yourself, "Is this it??" My life lacks PURPOSE...

How can I prevent my life from being so pathetic?
Interesting Question?  Yes (0)   No (0)   
RSS
 
 

Best Answer  Decided by Votes

drmatt drmatt
 
 March 15, 2009 05:03 AM
Congratulations! You've already done it!

You've recognized that there is a problem, and now your addressing it. Most people wake up at 40 or 50 and recognize that the last 10-20 years have been pathetic.

First, you can use the Law of Attraction to your advantage. When you think "Is this it?", you are looking at all the problems in your life and, with the LoA, you draw more problems into your life to confirm it. Instead, think of all the GOOD things you have in your life and LOOK FORWARD to all the increased GOOD and PURPOSEFUL things that will be entering into your life.

EVERY MORNING... wake up and be curious about what purpose will be brought into your life by the universe. Or, when you wake up, imagine the end of your day. Imagine that you will have discovered one of your purposes in life (or, at least, for the day), and then go through your day expecting it. You'd be amazed at what you'll find when you look for it.

Then, build on successes:

"Doing something right? Then, do more of it. Doing something wrong? Then, do something different."

Maybe your purpose is to help other people figure out what their purpose is... that's why you have to go through this growth yourself. Then you can talk to others about what YOU learned. (What have you learned?)


Helpful Answer?  (2)   (1)    Tip drmatt for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 

Other Answers (9)

Sort By
smokenherb smokenherb
 
March 15, 2009 04:57 AM
Give your life a purpose like helping those that don't have, you can even do this without leaving your house. http://www.thehungersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=1

Helpful Answer?  (1)   (0)    Tip smokenherb for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 
sambqt sambqt
 
March 15, 2009 05:12 AM
Spend some time with people who are less fortunate than you. Volunteer someplace where you can make a difference in someone's life. It is easier to count your blessings when you are in the company of those who are not as blessed. It also gives you a great feeling to help someone else.

You can do something as simple as visiting people in a nursing home. Your life will not seem nearly as pathetic and you will really make someone's day. Many nursing home residents get very few visitors and it means the world when anyone takes the time to visit. You may also hear some really interesting stories!

Helpful Answer?  (1)   (0)    Tip sambqt for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 
missaup missaup
 
March 15, 2009 06:28 AM
1. You acknowledged that you have a problem in your life that you would like solved
2. You have taken efforts to learn how to improve the problem (ex. submitting your question to Mahalo Answers)
3. Develop a "List of Improvements Needed"
4. Now have to come up with a "Plan of Action" for each improvement
5. Tell others (especially those close to you) about your plans/goals to hold you more accountable and to get positive encouragement from your supporters
6. Take action and know that "inaction breeds depression"
7. Enjoy the small victories and don't take minor successes for granted

Also:
8. Don't be so hard on yourself, after all you are only human
9. Learn to forgive others who have hurt you
10. Find a balance between "looking at life with rose colored glasses" vs cynicism

Finally:
11. Talk to someone (maybe a professional) if things seem hopeless

Helpful Answer?  (1)   (1)    Tip missaup for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 
nadiraziz nadiraziz
 
March 15, 2009 06:45 AM
I feel that way sometimes, and the only thing that has helped me is spirituality. unless you can find a calling for yourslef, these feelings will keep coming back to haunt you!

Helpful Answer?  (0)   (0)    Tip nadiraziz for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 
skywarrior skywarrior
 
March 15, 2009 07:17 AM
As many other folks here mentioned, you've taken the first step -- recognizing that there is a problem. If I were you, I'd be looking at what goals I really wanted in my life. Where I would want to see myself in one year, in five years, in ten years, etc. Setting a goal is the first step towards planning out what you might want to do with yourself.

Sometimes going to a career counselor or even a therapist can help you get a handle on things. Volunteering will help you help others and may give you a direction or purpose.

The main thing is to come up with goals and then plan out how you might be able to accomplish them.

Helpful Answer?  (1)   (0)    Tip skywarrior for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 
morriss003 morriss003
 
March 15, 2009 07:33 AM
Some people have a calling-ministers, rabbis, imams, priests for example. Their danger is that people tend to put them on a pedestal, and it is impossible for any human to stay up there for long.
Some people have a mission-educators, social workers for example. The mission is on-going, continuous. These people are prone to burnout unless they take a long break from time to time.
Some people have a goal-usually these are in the business community. When their goal is reached, they need to find another goal or they drift.
And finally some people have a task-their happiness is based on working on the task. When the task is finished, they need another task.
What kind of person are you?
What ever kind of person you are, I can tell you this for sure. If you wait long enough, these feelings will pass and other feelings, good or bad, will take their place. That is the nature of change and of being human.

Helpful Answer?  (1)   (0)    Tip morriss003 for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 
sukmrsing sukmrsing
 
March 15, 2009 10:22 AM
Join self improvement courses
meditate
join hobby classes
Create a blog write what interest you.
Have self confidence and count what you have

Helpful Answer?  (0)   (1)    Tip sukmrsing for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 
rosshann rosshann
 
March 15, 2009 11:50 AM
Never settle for anything less the best for you. This is subjective for every different person because what is best for one is not best for another. When you think it about your life and who you are you can will discover what is the best for you in terms of where you work, where you live and who you love and trust. It took me several years to discover these things and they did not just fall out of the sky. It took dedication and perseverance to find these things that are best for me. I stopped following the trend and began to do what was best for me. Now I look back and I am amazed at how far I have come and I eagerly anticipate how far I will go. Identity, your identity is what should be important to you. Discover what is best for you, search it out and don't look back.

All the best!
Source(s):
self experience.


Helpful Answer?  (0)   (0)    Tip rosshann for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 
doncav doncav
 
March 19, 2009 12:03 AM
I think that what you really need to to is figure out what "secondary gains" you are getting from continuing the way you are. Many people like to complain about their problems simply for the 'secondary gain' of pity, attention, self-loathing, or to feel good about the fact that they said it. Admitting isn't even a first step, realization and action are first steps. Admission is usually faked for these 'secondary gains.' http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secondary_gain
Source(s):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secondary_gain


Helpful Answer?  (0)   (0)    Tip doncav for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 

Answer this Question

How tips and payments work

This question has already been resolved. You may add an answer to it but you will not be eligible to win best answer or any associated tips.

Related Questions

No questions found.
View All Love & Relationships Questions

Ask a Question


140 characters left
Top of Page
Buy Mahalo Dollars with Credit Card or PayPal

Top Members

This Week All Time
  • buddawiggi
    buddawiggi
    2nd Degree Black Belt
    27115 Points
    M$783.09 Earned
  • kty2777
    kty2777
    Purple Belt with a Brown Tip
    5444 Points
    M$199.92 Earned
  • opher
    opher
    Purple Belt
    4166 Points
    M$187.17 Earned
   See All
 

Most Popular Tags

mahalo(1595)
twitter(945)
iphone(462)
music(459)
google(355)
food(318)
internet(303)
online(294)
beer(279)
money(262)
movies(255)
facebook(253)
apple(251)
aotd(235)
answers(222)
health(217)
dog(205)
video(204)
free(202)
windows(195)
   See All
 

Categories

Welcome New Members


 
 
Mahalo Dollars are the currency of Mahalo Answers.

Each Mahalo Dollar costs $1.

Once you earn more than 40 Mahalo Dollars, you can request to be paid via PayPal. Each Mahalo Dollar is currently worth $0.75 when paid out via PayPal. Learn More

 
 

Please log in to use this function.

Answers Home | Ask a Question | Earn Points | How Tips Work | Widget