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filmkid filmkid
 
M$1 December 21, 2008 06:54 PM

What is the Best Chuck Norris Joke?

I haven't heard many, so you can probably get away with well known ones. I don't want any links to long lists of jokes. Just give me your favorite one. Best joke in my opinion gets the M$1.
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jfinke jfinke
 
 December 21, 2008 07:43 PM
Chuck Norris *can* believe it's not butter.
Asker's Rating:
• For first out loud laugh. Blankity Blank and TechChic get honors.


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filmkid filmkid
 
December 21, 2008 08:42 PM
Haha, first audible laugh for this one.

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Other Answers (18)

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bugsy bugsy
 
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coocoofory... coocoofory...
 
December 21, 2008 07:03 PM
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Source(s):
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/


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tracebooks tracebooks
 
December 21, 2008 07:10 PM
The best Chuck Norris joke is the one uncracked...at least until Chuck gets ahold of it. Then it will be obliterated.

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foosed foosed
 
December 21, 2008 07:11 PM
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

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offthedome offthedome
 
December 21, 2008 07:16 PM
Chuck Norris can wear white after labor day.

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bojomojo bojomojo
 
December 21, 2008 07:17 PM
The game 'Doom' is loosely based on the time Satan borrowed 2 bucks from Chuck Norris and forgot to pay him back
Source(s):
http://www.idkwtf.com/jokes/chuck-norris-jokes-best-of


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rkaufman13 rkaufman13
 
December 21, 2008 07:24 PM
The best Chuck Norris joke is when the Blendtec guys stuck an action figure of him in their blender. Roundhouse kick confetti!
Source(s):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdD54rG9oQA


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teduncan teduncan
 
December 21, 2008 07:31 PM
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. However he spells a word is now the correct way.
Source(s):
http://autoguides.chacha.com/joke.aspx?joke=Chuck+Norris+does+not+use+spell...


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spoon spoon
 
December 21, 2008 07:52 PM
-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

-The Big Bang was actually Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking God in the face.

Source(s):
http://www.cafepress.com/mediatees/1478535


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mjeezy mjeezy
 
December 21, 2008 08:12 PM
After partying all night, Chuck Norris doesn't throw up, He throws down.

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hartwell hartwell
 
December 21, 2008 08:30 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdD54rG9oQA

Source(s):
http://www.willitblend.com/


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jlunsford jlunsford
 
December 21, 2008 08:32 PM
Chuck Norris is so fast - he once ran around the world and hit himself in the back of the head.
Source(s):
Me.


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filmkid filmkid
 
December 21, 2008 08:42 PM
Nice.

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schissel schissel
 
December 21, 2008 09:03 PM
Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.
Source(s):
Chuck Norris


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filmkid filmkid
 
December 21, 2008 09:06 PM
Heard this one too. Love it!

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weetanhops weetanhops
 
December 21, 2008 09:13 PM
Chuck Norris has no chin, only an extra fist

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fauxpop fauxpop
 
December 21, 2008 11:34 PM
Seeing one of his movies.

There is no Chuck Norris joke funnier than Chuck Norris himself.

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blankity b... blankity b...
 
December 21, 2008 11:43 PM
Chuck Norris celebrates every Christmas by giving birth to Jesus.

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filmkid filmkid
 
December 22, 2008 12:06 AM
Hahaha!

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mccalliste... mccalliste...
 
December 22, 2008 12:24 AM
I believe the Chuck Norris joke is past ripe and shouldn't be consumed anymore.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Source(s):
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/


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techchic techchic
 
December 22, 2008 06:49 AM
Do not think I saw this one:
-When in the office, do not ask Chuck Norris for a 3-hole punch.

(Reading thru these, loved the one about the periodic table and Lay's potato chip (favs)...so many good ones tho!
Source(s):
(a friend from work, big Chuck Norris fan)


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filmkid filmkid
 
December 22, 2008 06:53 AM
Hahahaha, nice one!

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