Is it wrong for a parent to smoke pot with their 16-year-old if they are curious about it?
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M$22 Answers
When I was a teacher, I worked with the DARE program. They have a policy to only allow students with no drug history to represent them. When I asked why, they explained that they don't want to send the message to students that you can use drugs once or twice "safely." Instead, they want to send the message that drugs are dangerous all the time.
By "safely" using drugs with your child, you are showing them that it can be used safely. Worse, you are highlighting the "fun" effects of that drug. They get all of the joys and none of the longterm problems associated with the drug.
When comparing this to drinking, it is not necessarily illegal for a parent to allow his child to drink underage on his property. Most laws focus on selling alcohol or target underage drinking at parties--not consumption in the home. However, this varies depending on the state.
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M$
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M$If a law is based on corrupt, incorrect and outdated ideals is it still right to abide by it? Maybe i'll post that question separate... Anyways, I'm going to answer the question from a perspective of personal experience rather than sheep-like adherence to our ultra conservative drug laws. Here goes:
A friend of mine in high school started smoking in 9th grade. He found out his dad smoked a year before (his dad did not know this). When he started smoking he wondered what it would be like to smoke with his dad, but at the time he knew his parents had agreed to discourage his use of marijuana (though they currently did not know) they found out about a year after he started, confiscated it, gave him the usual anti-drug talk, etc. It didn't take, he got caught a few more times, and eventually his parents realized that he had made his decision. Him and his dad smoked together for the first time when he was in 11th grade. it was a HUGE deal for him. at first they only smoked together with the two of them, but eventually his dad would smoke with all of us, and it was cool because we had someone who would make sure we didn't do anything stupid, but at the same time could have fun with us and we didn't have to hide anything. This kid has great grades, a great relationship with his dad, and shows all the signs of becoming successful. His dad works with the Big Brother Big Sisters program to keep kids from broken homes off the streets.
My situation is entirely opposite of his. I started smoking in 10th grade. I quit once for a couple months of my own initiative because I felt like it was taking over my life (everything in moderation) I quit again for a girl. I now smoke very occasionally. My parents have never smoked, they seem to be of the same mind as many of the people answering here. Fortunately they are extremely naive as well and I was never caught. However, hiding it from them led to a very strained relationship during my last few years of high school. This has gotten somewhat better now that I've moved out, but the divide is still there, I doubt it will ever go away. Part of me wishes that I had gotten caught, because I think it would have forced the issue on them and hopefully led to more understanding between us. Oh well. On a lighter note, I also do well in school, have a good job and feel as though I am on the right track to becoming a successful adult.
Personally, when I have kids, I don't think that I will ever smoke with them. I doubt I will smoke at all once that time comes. However, I would want my kids to know that they could talk to me about it without fear of anger or punishment. I don't think its a bad thing or a mistake for a teenager to smoke pot, but I wouldn't want it to create a rift between us, like it did with my parents.
Personal experience.
Hatred of Rudy Giuliani.
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M$
but everyone has theyre own opinions on raising children.
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M$
What is wrong and what are against the law are two different things.
The law changes all the time (but for many people) what's right and wrong doesn't change.
what is wrong, is still wrong. and what is against the law, is also still wrong.
law may change, but until he/she is old enough.. i think its wrong.
Supervising and condoning could send the message to one's child that it's okay to do drugs as long as the child does them at home. There is also the philosophy about marijuana being a gateway drug that will lead kids on to experiment with other drugs. By allowing the child to smoke marijuana at home with the parents, it could encourage the child to experiment with more dangerous drugs as well.
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M$
1. It's against the law
2. It's mentally addicting
3. It's even more against the law to smoke pot with one's own 16 year old
4. Let them discover it on their own. Over 50% of kids try pot by the time they graduate college. They will have ample time to pique their curiosity. The parent doesn't have to do it.
5. If the parent does smoke with the kids, it legitimizes the use of marijuana, creating more potential future problems.
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M$just kidding. no don't smoke pot with your child. his or her friends and society will pressure your child enough to smoke at some point, and you have to be the one pulling him or her the other way. i don't see any positives with smoking pot with your child at all, only potential negatives. leave it up to your child's friends to bring up pot, then be the adult that discourages its use.
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M$
Then, there's the implicit permission that participating implies. You may be saying "No, you shouldn't do this" but at the same time you're doing it, so in their eyes it can't be THAT bad.
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M$I remember when I was 16 and drank at a party and left my car there. My dad was upset because I had broken the law by drinking. I never discussed my drinking with him again. We both lost an opportunity to have that dialogue.
I don't think it's as black and white as "it's against the law".
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M$
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M$
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M$
That might give them the idea that it is OK to break any law if you know about it or if you are watching them.
This could possibly also lead to a break down in the whole parent - child structure.
If the child wanted to steal from the neighbors, would it be OK if you helped?... no.
If there are others around the child smoking, let him know that they can get into serious trouble when dealing with the law and that he may need to find new friends.
Some people say that pot is not that bad and it does not hurt anyone.
Regardless, it is a law and a law for a reason and should not be broken.
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M$
let your kid smoke pot on his own with friends
stop trying to take the fun out of it
that said, if he's down with it i don't see anything wrong with sharing a few puffs
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M$
Is it ok for a parent to let their teen drive drunk?
I don't buy the argument of a controlled setting. Disrespect for the law and pushing these boundaries only leads to more illegal behavior not less.
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M$
This is more equivalent to the parent allowing the teen to have a beer or glass of wine at dinner. My parents would let me have wine or beer on plenty of special occasions, even when I was 10. Not only did I not turn in to a raging alcoholic, I drink far less than them, 0-3 alcoholic drinks/week is my norm for about 51 weeks of the year, and that other week might be 4-8 or so.
I don't smoke pot, so I'm not arguing based on that.
Marijuana is less harmful to one's health than alcohol and so I see no reason why it should be considered any different, if a parent decides to share it with their nearly-grown children.
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M$You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$However, as with any parenting question it depends on the relationship between the child and parent.
By smoking with the 16 year old, the parent is condoning it's use. While I personally don't believe that pot is "evil", it is a gateway drug that when condoned and in this case promoted by the parent, the teenager will almost certainly try other drugs.
Parenting is about helping to guide your children through the right and wrong choices when they make them interdependently. Smoking (anything, not just pot) is a way to say that it's ok.
The better way to do this might be to explain the pros and cons of the drug giving real examples. I would specifically show the teenager the gateway aspect of the drug by talking with recovering drug addicts who started with pot and ended up with a problem. I would also highlight how the moderation of anything we put in our bodies is important. Food, prescription and non-prescription drugs, etc are often ok in moderation but knowing how to control that moderation is a problem many people deal with.
The bottom line is that smoking pot with your kid is a bad idea for a lot of reasons.
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M$
I'm sorry but you are spewing forth government propagated bs. There is no real evidence that pot is a gateway drug and plenty of personal experience of myself and friends that it is not.
Excuse me Rob, but you should realize that the only people that think its okay are the people that DO it. Dont believe foosed, its very unhealthy. Do the right thing, and just avoid this convo altogether. Its pathetic how the people who ruin their lives want to ruin the lives of others...
Well, I live in Canada and we don't hear much "government propageted bs". We do have very lax laws on pot and as a result, have an open view of what it is and what it isn't.
Without delving into my complete resume or history, I'll mention that my answer was focused primarily on the parent in the situation. While it's certainly not a hard-and-true fact, it makes sense that any drug, not just pot can very easily lead to other drugs.
For parents, I think it's a good idea to put up a bit of a moral wall to maintain limits. If you draw the line of good behavior with the law and slightly behind pot, chances are better that your child will understand your opinion and hopefully consider it when experimenting.
I have another way of looking at this then some of the people here.
I am for it.
To answer your question however.
While in some places it maybe illegal there are also some places where it is infact believe it or not, legal.
POT as you call it .....
(or as stewey would call it on family guy, ;o) )
(And probably the appropriate pronunciation who knows)
Marijuana "Mara-ju-wana" ... should never be condoned to anyone
unless laws are significantly changed.
As in most countries it is illegal and if you are apprehended with it you could face jail time.
Looking at this from a scientific aspect with your kids if of the same sex I believe would be helpful as well.
Inform them of the medical implications of smoking pot.
I don't believe talking to children of a different sex is helpful in this situation as they may need a greater roll model or in some cases believe it or not a lesser one.
While even though children will most certainly rebel they still look up to their parents for understanding.
As with your 16 year old, He/She maybe feeling per pressures of children around them in a alpha state type of way.
This is normal and will probably pass as they get older, but for right now I do not think that there brain even at 16 is developed enough to understand the full ramifications of using a controlled substance. I believe you should also take into account your personal relationship with your child, as well as if or not you have used pot yourself.
But Lets face it there are far greater ways to get high in this world.
PN:
My personal view on this is much like drinking, I would rather have my children drinking in my home IN A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT then out of my home where they could get into far greater peril.
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M$
As a parent in Taiwan I'd be looking at a serious stretch in jail for a) smoking pot and b) letting my kid smoke pot. Bad idea. If you're asking hypothetically if it were legal to smoke pot with your 16-year-old kid would you do it, I'd say no. Too many worst case scenarios to consider!
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M$You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$
Is smoking pot like robbing a bank? Unfortunately it is in a lot of places. For some reason, smoking mara-ja-wanna is illegal. Highly ILLEGAL. And if you have too much (which really isn't that much) it is EXTREMELY illegal, and you'll go to jail for a long long long time.
It's better to tell your children that's it's against the law and do everything in your power as a parent to make your kids understand that if the are arrested for possession, it WILL screw up their lives in some way.
Now besides all that, this is the most moronic law on the books these days. Pot is so much less dangerous than other "Legal" drugs that it's ludicrous. And it would be legal, accept for some outdated studies and big company money from tobacco, oil, and paper.
Gateway drug? are you serious. What kind of 80's thinking is that to still be around. If your kid is going to do drugs, it doesn't matter what they START with. I know plenty of people that just smoke pot, and nothing else, and plenty of people that started other drugs and then smoked pot. It's a silly silly argument that the pre-mentioned groups created to sound some what plausible.
But until our laws have changed, don't go near the stuff.
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M$You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$
Naaaaaaaa... it will not paralyze you, ..your brain, ..your mental function, or kill you. It's just pot.
@Foosed
Studies have shown that someone who smokes 2 joints may be taking in as many cancer-causing chemicals as someone who smokes a full pack of cigarettes.
But hey don't stop for air on my account.
PN:
Foosed you pissed me off now.
You didn't RTFA, and missed the whole point.
Marijuana is not usually toxic enough to kill you GRANTED., but if you mix this drug with other drugs or do something that requires brain skills and coordination (like driving a car), then yes, smoking "pot" can kill you. Marijuana affects nerve cells in the brain , so someone who has smoked marijuana may have difficulty handling complex tasks. This is why teenagers who get high and drive are involved in auto accidents. No different then drinking. Which was my point to begin with.
Foosed do some research about the nerve damage pot (THC in particular) can cause, I'd bet you would be very surprised.
And yes you CAN O.D. on THC.
GRANTED you would need a enormous staggering amount of it , you can O.D on just about anything.
Freud? well i don't really like his ideas, he is quoted to much in literature across the states.
Darcy, we are all children once, this is my reasoning behind this.
Even a 45 year old man/woman can be a CHILD to someone 3 times his/her age.
Hell,.. my neighbor who just turned 85 years old and tried pot for the first time on his birthday is still a CHILD to someone somewhere.
My point is there is a first time for everything and while i might not be able to give my kid pointers on how to please their partner in bed or watch him/her become a senior citizen.
Atleast i can be there when they have some really bad experiences as well as good ones.
So when they grow up they can say to themselves ?
'Geeeeeeeez , You know what johny/jenny?, My Dad was THERE when that *Expletive* happened.' :O
It's really a gray area darcy, I hope your children someday can think of you in the same (maybe not vulgar but same..) context.
EDIT I:
I'd like to think that all chemical imbalances aside, humans are a naturally ingenuitive and caring race.
EDIT: II
Also just wanted to say i think i got lost in the question a little and started to go off into other area's which is ok in my humble opinion, And perhaps directed my thoughts the wrong way.
Also while editing this, I don't know if anyone else noticed but at the top of the page the google ad has now changed to....
"Defiant Teen?
Oppositional Defiance Disorder, or just a phase? Get answers, help."
That's sad in my humble opinion, have we grown as a race to only be proactive about bad experiences in our childrens lives to the point we are making ads and marketing on how to stop it/them ?
While some of us talk about letting our children
"Find things out on there own" (which i agree can be fruitful in some cases for their self esteem and other areas).
Are parents no longer *MENTALLY* equipped to raise their own children now ?
Geeeepus crepus.....
This question (even as short as it is) only proves my point further.
EDIT III:
If this is the type of democracy we are headed for, I'm switching to communism :P
~Me 2008
To xds:
THC cannot cause a fatal overdose in ANY amount, it can't do anything bad to you except make you feel sleepy. I don't know where you got that information from but it is dead wrong.
I think the problem with that assessment is that children are going to find a way to experiment no matter what. THC in large amounts can have fatal affects on a body, Same with X and other drugs.
Not that I condone taking drugs of anykind but if a child wants to experiment with drugs then i don't believe they should be under a alpha male alpha female pressured state in order to feel the affects of a narcotic.
I was once a dare officer assistant I know the program well, in 1996 when dare was being taught in high schools jnr high schools and mostly grammar schools threw out the country we would put the children threw artistic curriculum we even had them put on skits showing the affects on drugs and where you will "end up" if taking drugs.
This in humble opinion was the absolute wrong way of looking at this. Children need structure, especially when it comes to sensitive subjects such as this.
This is right up there with the curriculum of for anger management based on Freud and Stowman. Who have been dead for hundreds of years now. It's absolutely ludicrous if you ask me that we still teach our children this.
And then. And then. ? Annnnnnnnnd THEN... we all wonder why they bring guns to school with them.? My god its the twilight zone all over again.
And then.
"Elie Wiesel" ~ September 30, 1928
xds, what is with you and Freud?
As to the argument that "they are going to do it anyway," it doesn't work. First, not all children experiment with drugs. Second, the idea that you should sanction something because your child might do it, eventually, is not good enough reason for me. Do you let your child have sex in his bedroom, too?