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3 years, 5 months ago

Is it ok for a spouse to remain friends with the woman he cheated with?

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wboswell's Avatar
wboswell | 3 years, 5 months ago
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Absolutely not. If you're trying to repair the relationship that you cheated in, then why would you keep the person you cheated WITH in your life? It would be a constant reminder to both you and your partner of your infidelity.

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comiclist | 3 years, 5 months ago
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No. If he wants to "remain friends," he needs to end his marriage. Otherwise, out of respect and love for his wife, to avoid the appearance of impropriety, and to avoid temptation, he should have nothing to do with the other woman.

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mellon | 3 years, 5 months ago
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Sure. But this question presupposes a very difficult situation. I mean, why did the cheating happen? What was the underlying problem? Has that problem been addressed? If not, what's to prevent further cheating? How does the spouse who was cheated on feel about the continued friendship?

In order to continue in a situation like this, you have two choices: you can bandage things over and hope for the best, or you can try to really address what went wrong. Well, or you can just give up. If you're going to bandage things over, then the appearance of a friendship is going to work against that.

If you're going to figure out what went wrong, and try to address it, then deciding whether or not to continue the friendship is part of that process. And there isn't a simple answer, like "no." In order to follow this path, both partners have to be brutally honest about why they want the relationship to continue, and what they need for it to continue, and what happened that led to the cheating. Otherwise the underlying problem that led to the cheating won't be addressed, and you're just bandaiding the problem.

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fireawayphoto | 3 years, 5 months ago
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Rebuilding trust is the key to maintaining a relationship after your spouse has cheated. If that souse is still in contact with the person they cheated on you with then how can you be sure that the cheating has ended? You can't.

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m1sael | 3 years, 5 months ago
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No way Jose! It'll cause trouble in the future.

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djscram | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
No. Well, okay for the spouse, and the person he cheated with, but not so much for the marriage or the person who was cheated on. Anyone who is seriously trying to save a marriage would forgo the "friendship" with the person who was a party to the damage.
source(s):
Watched it happen.

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carriep | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
Nope. No way.

I'd weighed in on a similar question, "can a spouse remain friends with a former ex," and gave a definite maybe as an answer. In that situation, the relationship ended before the current married couple got together, so to me, if everyone could be civil and there was enough trust there, it could be OK.

But in this case, there's no possible way to remain friends with someone a spouse cheated with and keep the level of trust necessary to have a healthy relationship with his wife. If the husband and wife get divorced, then maybe. But if they are still married, it's asking for trouble.

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zajae7 | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
Absolutely g*****n not.

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mrhelmsc | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
A relationship is built on trust. It's not OK for a spouse to remain a spouse post cheating.

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juls24bug | 3 years, 5 months ago
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no!

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bedtymetales | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
I think that if he cheated with her once he will do it again.

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boykit's Avatar
boykit | 3 years, 5 months ago
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Yeah, if he wants to do some more of the same.

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blubaron's Avatar
blubaron | 3 years, 5 months ago
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YES,, I TOO HAVE THAT SAME SETUP,,, CHEATED 8YRS AGO,, STILL SPEAK TO HER,ON THE PHONE, SEE EACH OTHER , NO SEX .JUST LEARNED WHO WAS TRULLY IMPORTANT, AND WHO WAS JUST A FRIEND.

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staysea's Avatar
staysea | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
Obviously not.

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postscriptum's Avatar
postscriptum | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
That depends on a woman;)

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