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3 years, 5 months ago

Is it better to have loved and lost or to never have loved at all?

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james_bond's Avatar
james_bond | 3 years, 5 months ago
On the surface, loving and losing definitely appears to have much more of a downside, but having never even given it a shot you would have no frame of reference.

It reminds me of the Theological debate about whether or not Good can exist without Evil? If you've never even experienced love then you really don't know what you were missing, so you've essentially lost nothing. However, to actually experience love and lose it can be tragic, so therein lies the quandary. It certainly may be easier to never love at all, but without ever having loved (and therefore allowing yourself to decipher a personal value of "love"), you would be unable to appreciate what you've gained by never having exposed yourself to the risk of losing love.

So although you may be gaining something, you could never appreciate what you've gained because you'd never assigned a value to what you might have lost (love). Essentially the value of each is rendered null, so you've neither gained anything nor lost anything...

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spudrph | 3 years, 5 months ago
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Absolutely.

Pain and loneliness are meaningless without joy to reflect against. Losing love is hard, but never having experienced love renders life stale, flat, and unprofitable.

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rosedarpam | 3 years, 5 months ago
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From a personal point of view: My husband of five years ran off with a 17 year old girl and took all of the money in our accounts. What did I learn from that? Always keep a separate bank account and that when you lose someone you love always remember what you gained from the relationship. In my case, I gained a wonderful son, now 30.

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budgallant | 3 years, 5 months ago Report

This experience is certainly one of the more dramatic examples of loss.
These situations would seem perhaps the hardest to learn from, in a sense. It is a testament to your strength of character, that you were able to find the positives in such a thing. I commend you for that, and hope that lesson is not one that will need to be learned from experience, by many other people.

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bricksac | 3 years, 5 months ago
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Its better to have loved and lost , then to live with a psycho
source(s):
experience

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mdbbdm | 3 years, 5 months ago
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I believe you have to open your heart to let love in so yes it is better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all.
source(s):
Life

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andy's Avatar
andy | 3 years, 5 months ago
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According to English poet Alfred Lord Tennyson:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

I, in my humble opinion, would have to agree...

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budgallant's Avatar
budgallant | 3 years, 5 months ago Report

Ah, there's Tennyson. I knew someone would catch the reference.
Well done.

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bugsy | 3 years, 5 months ago Report

Well, it's obvious he was refering to that, the question is why.

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movieguyjon | 3 years, 5 months ago
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My life has been much more interesting because I've loved and lost. But had you asked me this question when I "lost," my answer would have been something along the lines of "I wish I never had the capacity to love." There are some days where I revert and wonder if it was all worth it, though.

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budgallant's Avatar
budgallant | 3 years, 5 months ago Report

I can understand your sentiments. I think we have all had days like that, and certainly most of us will have them in the future.

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akuta's Avatar
akuta | 3 years, 5 months ago
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I believe that loving one another is the paramount reason that our species is alive. We are here to connect socially and to share ourselves with each other. I personally would rather feel the affection of love (in all of its forms) than to be miserable and bored having not experienced love in general.

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taquintana07 | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
to each his/her own but my opinion its better to have loved because if you never have. There would be no experiences memories, happy times..it may be hard if you have lost but you have all the wonderful memories rather than being alone and isolated without a true love.

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jfull15 | 3 years, 5 months ago Report

I second this.

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tko | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
I've had significant chunks of my life with no love, and I tell ya, far far *far* better to have loved and lost. The loves I've had in the past have all been great in some way or other (even if they haven't been great overall.) I've taken away something good at the end of every one, even if it might have felt horrible at the time the relationship ended. (no matter who ended it.)

The pain will go away. The memories and experiences will remain with you forever. ..Unless you have a long-term-memory issue, then you should just keep trying to love again. ...um, provided you don't forget this advice. ;)

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procyin | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
No.

Then you know what you're missing. It's better to be ignorant and just dream if you have no chance to have a lifelong relationship.

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disleksic's Avatar
disleksic | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
It may be better to have never loved at all, but life would be boring as hell.

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darcy logan | 3 years, 5 months ago
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How can no love ever be better than love?

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jonathan h's Avatar
jonathan h | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
Our lives might be much more boring if we didn't have the capacity to love, but we'd certainly avoid a whole lot of emotional pain. The truth is, we've all tried "loved and lost" but nobody has ever tried "never loved at all." I'd like to have someone give that a shot and get back to me. Maybe it's great!

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jenny | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
I would definitely say it's better to have loved and lost. Life is about experiences and that means taking risks and possibly getting hurt. But you grow and learn from the experiences that don't work out and makes you wiser the next time you enter into a relationship. If you don't try at all, you'll never know what you've missed.

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bugsy's Avatar
bugsy | 3 years, 5 months ago
3
Why are you asking, what's the real question that you want to ask?

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