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2 years, 6 months ago via

If your husband calls from the office party and you think you hear a woman's voice in the background...

Calling him an endearment should you just let it go, confront him, or what?
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dtvrivera | 2 years, 6 months ago
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I would try to go at it with a slight pinch of humor and downplay the incident by telling my husband a day or so after the party, “You know, we have to sweetest old lady working in our office. She bakes cookies and cakes each day and brings them to work and she always calls all the coworkers “Sweety”, “Darling”, or “Honey” (or any other appropriate term of endearment you may have heard over the phone). I think it’s the sweetest thing…”. Wait a second for a response and then say, “Hey wait a minute. Don’t you guys have a sweet lady like that, ?” If he looks confused or baffled, dig deeper. “Didn’t one of the ladies you work with call you “….(whatever the term of endearment may have been)” when I called you the other day? Let him work through a response and carefully observe his reaction. Chances are you caught him off guard quite a bit with your talk about the “sweet old lady” and he was not prepared for a potential confrontation over the incident from the holiday party. If anything is going on, you will likely see it written all over his face (unless he is an excellent actor and recovers quickly from bluffs, in which case you should cut him loose and send him to Hollywood). If the incident was purely innocent or the term of endearment was not meant for him (maybe it was meant for another man by the same name as your husband), he should be able to convincingly clarify the situation right away and you will pretty much know, because his explanation will actually make you feel better rather than more skeptical. Follow your gut instinct, and if you are still not satisfied with his explanation, then be on guard and watch for potentially tell-tale signs that he is having an affair.

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cheapgamer | 2 years, 6 months ago
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Several of my female coworkers have at various times called me Hon, Honey, Sweety, Dude, Sugar and Hey You.

Unless the term was "boy toy" I would let it go with some people it is just how they talk. I know a few people who call everyone honey, so unless you have other reasons to believe someone at his workplace has a crush on him I would let it go.

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poie | 2 years, 4 months ago
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it is up to your spouse to address the person not to address him in an endearing way, call him by his formal name. if he does not then he likes it. but to me it is inappropriate for him to be called or call office people pet names.

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annelisle | 2 years, 6 months ago
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If my husband calls from the office party and I thought I heard a woman's voice in the background calling him an endearment, I would just let it go and let him enjoy the party.

Once he gets home and had enough rest, I will ask him about what I have heard. Definitely I will give him the benefit of the doubt because everyone deserves that. I have to know what is his explanation about the one I heard on the phone. I could be wrong, maybe the woman is just teasing him or the woman is calling an endearment to someone else and I just heard it over the phone.

There are many things that can happen which might make us distrust our spouse but if in our relationship he was able to make me trust him, then, that phone incident is negligible especially if his explanation is acceptable and has basis. I know my spouse too much to tell if he is lying or not.

But if he starts to get angry and become defensive with my question then I think I think there's a reason to be suspicious if he is having an affair with another woman.

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joshoimo | 2 years, 6 months ago
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It's an office party, most offices do contain women.

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allenatkinson | 2 years, 5 months ago
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Its funny that you wonder about the voice in the background. Remember he called you. If he wanted to keep an affair quiet dont you think he would have called you from somewhere else? Im kind of wondering why you were not at the party with him? I dont remember the last party i was where spouses were not envited. If you have concerns about your husbands ability to be faithful then be with him more. Did he envite you? did you decline? Are you happy? It kind of looks like you might be trying to find a way out of this relationship.

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nonaweeksrobinson | 2 years, 6 months ago
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Most of the women at my husbands job call him pet names. I don't think it should bother you unless you feel there are other concerns. I have complete trust in my husband, and do not feel he will do anything wrong. I guess it basically comes back to trust, do you really think your husband would involve himself in anything with another woman?

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amybrowne2 | 2 years, 5 months ago
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I would ask who called him that if I did not recognize the voice. My ex did not go to office parties without me, but instead went to co-workers house's or the bar with them. I questioned it if I felt the need, as a wife its your right to do so.

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