I did not find out until I was 21 that my dad was not my biological father. I had no intentions of finding my father once I was told because my family was a strong unit. I was never neglected and am well loved so this was never an issue to me.

Without my permission, at the age of 26 my mother located and contacted my birth father and the reprocussions were disatrous. They were very difficult on me but far worse on my dad, brother and mother because they did not handle it well. My dad felt like he was going to be left out, my mother thought my real father would do more but that never happened and my brother felt like I had a new family that was going to take his place.

It tore my family in half and took nearly the next 6 years to get things back to some semblance of normal, but it will never be the same.

As for my answer... it is absolutely no. I would not. In some cases it is better to let sleeping dogs lay.

While I am not adopted, I did grow up without my biological father present. My mother and stepdad provided me with a stable background, but I always knew I had a dad out there somewhere and was not sure how he felt about me. I received some mail from him throughout my childhood and early teenage years, but I was never sure whether I would actually ever talk to him in person. Then one day, after I had gotten married and moved into my own home, my dad called my grandmother’s house (she had not changed her phone number in 20 years) out of the blue and asked how I was doing and if she could get him in contact with me. She told him that I had recently gotten married and that I now had a son. Curious over his brand new little grandson, my dad asked my grandmother for my phone number and I was very surprised to discover that he was on the other line one weekend morning while I was preparing breakfast. From then on we talked every weekend and exchanged numerous emails and letters. Then two years later, I finally got the chance to meet him in person at an airport close to his home, while I was on layover. Since then I have moved (from Germany to the US) and he was actually able to visit us a few times and spend a week with my family (and his grandkids). I am glad that our relationship worked out so well after all these years, considering how much time we had lost. If I had been adopted, I think I would have definitely wanted to find out who my parents were and possibly arrange a meeting with them to find out more details on their lives as well. I would have loved to know what inspired them, what they made of their lives, and what commonalities we might have.

I'm not adopted (though I keep asking my mother if she is sure that I wasn't adopted) so I can only speculate. I think I would want to find them because I am an inherently curious person. There are many reasons why people give children up, and if I had a happy childhood then I would really just be curious to know them as people and not ask all the questions like - why did you do this? how could you give me up? etc.

I would want to know how like them I was. I would want to know about other relatives and possibly other siblings. I would want to know about family heredity problems like heart disease and all of that.

The problem, of course, is that you could set yourself up for a big heart ache if the mom and dad still want to keep it a secret. Of course, there is no reason that I would have to keep it a secret from members of their family but there is the possibility of rejection, which might hurt alot more than the not knowing. But I would probably try none the less.

The only reason I think I wouldn't is if my mother or father asked me not to. Then I might respect their wishes and not until they had passed on. But again this is all speculation.

I think I would trust my birth parents' judgment, though of course it's hard to say without being in that situation. If my birth parents made contact and found out that they were normal people now (or more likely, could only find the mom, and she was normal), I would probably want to meet them/her. If, however, they tracked down the birth mom and found that her life was still a mess, I would probably want to stay away. There's no sense inviting heartache into your life, if the other person isn't healthy enough to have a relationship with you. I would certainly want to know about things like medical history, but I wouldn't want a relationship of any kind with birth parents unless it would be a healthy, supportive one. I would assume they gave me up because they couldn't handle being a parent, and I wouldn't necessarily assume that that had changed in any way.

While I'm not adopted I think I would seek out my birth parents to see where I came from.

I have a niece and nephew who were adopted. We tried to take them in but due to circumstances we were going through at the time we weren't able to and they ended up in the system. I have been able to find out that they were adopted and I hope that one day they look for they family. I would very much like to meet them some day.

I would be interested in finding out long before I was 18.

Yes, I would curious about my lineage. Although rationally we say that our real parents are the one who care for us until we grow up, but the truth is blood is thicker than water. We all have deep desire to know where we come from in order to feel complete. Without knowing our real background, somehow we feel we dont know who we are, we are unsure about our identity. Humans always want to reconnect to the past. That is why we have history and museums. Knowing our true parents is much more than that because it is more personal to us.