2 years, 5 months ago
via
If you live in a country without arranged marriages, would you ever consider entering into one? Under what circumstances?
Separate topics with commas, or by pressing return. Use the delete or backspace key to edit or remove existing topics.
You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$1 Answer
No. Under no circumstance would I agree to an arranged marriage.
I have known people who are from countries (India) where this is a common custom. These people believe that through astrology and careful planning an arranged marriage would work wonderfully.
Where does love fall into all of that? The answer I received from my Indian friends was that with such compatibility love would come in time.
I respect the custom. I respect the belief. However, I don't buy into it. It's my opinion that these people have no choice other than to be stuck in a situation someone else chose for them. And so out of duty and obedience they make the best of the situation. Attachment to the spouse chosen for you is likely, but it's not the same as love.
It is also important to look at the practices behind arranged marriages. The custom in parts of India is for an arranged marriage to be planned at birth and even performed while the child is still a baby. The "wife" lives with her family until she is ready to consummate the marriage. It is highly unlikely that the girl will ever see her "husband" until that time. When the time does come she leaves her family for good. If that child bride's spouse dies before she makes the transition from her family to his bed she is forced from her family as she is now cursed. Her head is shaved and she is thrown into a poverty stricken community of other widows. If anyone has not seen the movie, "Water"... Do! It's brilliantly directed, but disturbing as well. It's an eye opener. Luckily, this practice is prohibited now. However, it does still happen.
It's also seen as a decent thing for a widow to throw herself onto her husband's funeral pyre. She will never be allowed to remarry -- even if she is a five year old virgin at the time of his death. However a husband who loses a wife may remarry as often as he likes.
Marriage dowries are expected from the woman's family to compensate for the burden women are thought to be. If the dowry is not enough, it is not uncommon for the husband or family to collect the dowry he is not happy with and then murder his wife. It frees him to go look for another wife and another dowry.
I have known people who are from countries (India) where this is a common custom. These people believe that through astrology and careful planning an arranged marriage would work wonderfully.
Where does love fall into all of that? The answer I received from my Indian friends was that with such compatibility love would come in time.
I respect the custom. I respect the belief. However, I don't buy into it. It's my opinion that these people have no choice other than to be stuck in a situation someone else chose for them. And so out of duty and obedience they make the best of the situation. Attachment to the spouse chosen for you is likely, but it's not the same as love.
It is also important to look at the practices behind arranged marriages. The custom in parts of India is for an arranged marriage to be planned at birth and even performed while the child is still a baby. The "wife" lives with her family until she is ready to consummate the marriage. It is highly unlikely that the girl will ever see her "husband" until that time. When the time does come she leaves her family for good. If that child bride's spouse dies before she makes the transition from her family to his bed she is forced from her family as she is now cursed. Her head is shaved and she is thrown into a poverty stricken community of other widows. If anyone has not seen the movie, "Water"... Do! It's brilliantly directed, but disturbing as well. It's an eye opener. Luckily, this practice is prohibited now. However, it does still happen.
It's also seen as a decent thing for a widow to throw herself onto her husband's funeral pyre. She will never be allowed to remarry -- even if she is a five year old virgin at the time of his death. However a husband who loses a wife may remarry as often as he likes.
Marriage dowries are expected from the woman's family to compensate for the burden women are thought to be. If the dowry is not enough, it is not uncommon for the husband or family to collect the dowry he is not happy with and then murder his wife. It frees him to go look for another wife and another dowry.
You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$Report Abuse
