Children unfortunately do not have the ability to understand how final death is. So I would start by saying it depends on their age. Have they ever experienced a loved one's death? Do they understand what it means for your own spirituality to have died? There is the second question. I myself do not have a faith in God, I believe there is some type of spiritual existence, however I do not believe in organized religion or the Bible. However, if you do, then explaining how this is a process of life, that god calls people (or goldfish) to serve as angels etc, is a very positive thought to offer. I think that letting him know that all the love and care he gave while his goldfish was here, is the most important thing. My son lost his turtle when he was little, and it is a very hard discussion to have. But again, being honest is probably the best way. Remember that you are instilling your beliefs in your children, so if you believe in an afterlife, then explain to them briefly that the goldfishes spirit lives on. If you do not, then explain that this is a process of life, and with everything it is part of the goldfishes life, for it to come to an end, and the most important thing for him to remember is the love that he had that will live on in him...There is no easy way....

Dealing with death is always a tough topic to discuss with anyone, regardless of age. I agree with you that being honest with your child is the best way to help him grow and understand some of the more difficult topics in life. I think there is a way you could ease into the discussion. Sit down and watch the Disney movie The Lion King or another children's movie that portrays death. After the movie, discuss the death, the grief process and how life continues. This can lead to a discussion about the pet goldfish. Be sure to avoid ambiguous terms like he 'sleeping' or he 'passed away'. According to a research study conducted at The College of New Jersey, these terms can be confusing to a child and don't express the permanence of the situation. While your son might not completely understand, I believe the combination of watching the movie and then discussing both deaths can be an easier way to broach the subject. Perhaps you can hold a "funeral" for the goldfish to help him say goodbye.

In advance you should have been explaining the fish's life expectancy and that would take off some of the edge. But if it's for a child get a new fish to replace the old one first and just tell the kid that the fish has died and the reasons why not everything lives forever. Then bring the kid to the tank and say so now we have Ralphie. Children have short memory/pleasure times.