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If I ever have twins, I’d use one for parts.
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.
I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.
After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes.. He said, “No hablo ingles.”
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This group of hunting buddies stops at a farm to ask the owner if they could hunt there. One guy asks the owner, "Is it okay if we hunt here?" The owner says, "Yea you can hunt here if you do me one favor." The guy asks the owner, "what do you need me to do?" The owner says, "You see that old donkey over there? Well, she is really old, and has cancer, and I just can't stand to see her suffer any longer. Could you put her out of her misery for me?" The guy says, "sure I could help you out with that." So the guy returns to his truck full of buddies and decides to pull a trick on them. The guy says, "well he said that we couldn't hunt here, so I'm going to teach that old man a lesson. Watch this. You see that old donkey over there?" The guy points his gun out the window and shoots the donkey right in the head and says, "HA that will teach him." Another shot rings out. From the back of the truck his buddy shouts, "There I got his cow, let's get outta here!!!
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"Can she cook like I can?" the distraught woman asked between sobs.
"Not on her best day," he replied.
"Can she buy you expensive gifts like I do?" she asked.
"No, she's broke," he said.
"Well, then, is it sex?" she inquired.
"Nobody does it like you, babe!" he replied.
"Then what can she do that I can't?" the woman tearfully asked.
"Sue me for child support!!"
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Answered Question
Best Answer Decided by Votes
| July 10, 2009 11:37 AM |
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.
I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.
After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes.. He said, “No hablo ingles.”
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Voted as best: girlieq3000
Other Answers (2)
July 10, 2009 11:10 AM
I like this one. This group of hunting buddies stops at a farm to ask the owner if they could hunt there. One guy asks the owner, "Is it okay if we hunt here?" The owner says, "Yea you can hunt here if you do me one favor." The guy asks the owner, "what do you need me to do?" The owner says, "You see that old donkey over there? Well, she is really old, and has cancer, and I just can't stand to see her suffer any longer. Could you put her out of her misery for me?" The guy says, "sure I could help you out with that." So the guy returns to his truck full of buddies and decides to pull a trick on them. The guy says, "well he said that we couldn't hunt here, so I'm going to teach that old man a lesson. Watch this. You see that old donkey over there?" The guy points his gun out the window and shoots the donkey right in the head and says, "HA that will teach him." Another shot rings out. From the back of the truck his buddy shouts, "There I got his cow, let's get outta here!!!
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July 10, 2009 01:18 PM
Gregory finally found the nerve to tell his fiancée that he had to break off their engagement so he could marry another woman. "Can she cook like I can?" the distraught woman asked between sobs.
"Not on her best day," he replied.
"Can she buy you expensive gifts like I do?" she asked.
"No, she's broke," he said.
"Well, then, is it sex?" she inquired.
"Nobody does it like you, babe!" he replied.
"Then what can she do that I can't?" the woman tearfully asked.
"Sue me for child support!!"
Permalink | Report
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