Very interesting. I think you're on to something with the "not paying attention" angle. Perhaps the joke is that this is what Bush would have to do to get into the newspaper? Endure some superhuman physical punishment?

I also notice that the final sentence is the same on both linked articles. "President Bush is resting comfortably in Bethesda Naval Hospital." Maybe the joke is the matter-of-fact, lifeless way a newspaper reports incidents of great import or drama. And the fact that it's happening to President Bush would be more like an afterthought.

I think this second theory is bolstered by past Onion articles that revel in elaborate descriptions of horrifying, gruesome trauma.
Source(s):
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30627
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nations_joggers_sick_of_finding

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Perhaps they are poking fun at the many times Bush has been injured during his presidency. For example when he fell off his bike in May of 04 (http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/05/22/bush.fall/) or in July of 05 (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8487719/) and how about when he fell off a segway.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/2989000.stm
Source(s):
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8487719/
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/05/22/bush.fall/
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/2989000.stm

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