Most states allow for parents to serve alcohol to their children though, provided the child doesn't become intoxicated. This is allowed whether in public or in private, provided the child is in site of the parent when it is happening, and the server serves the parent, and the parent serves the child.

Here in Texas, if a 17, 18, 19, or 20 year old is married to someone over 21, their spouse who is of legal age can also serve alcohol to them without breaking the law. I'm sure other states will vary.

These laws allow it so that children can participate in things like religious ceremony, toasts for special occasions, etc. Keep in mind this is not permission for a child to drink without their parent present, neither is it permission for a child to become intoxicated. Allowing or causing a child to become intoxicated is against the law. A small glass of wine with dinner, however, in many states, is not.

I have allowed my 14 year old (now 15 year old) son to sip a very small portion of wine in a wine glass with dinner. I think to prohibiting alcohol completely and make it a big NO thing makes it more enticing to teenagers. MOST teenagers won't particularly like the taste of most alcohol anyway, but for the most part, allowing them to take part in a grown up custom or ritual helps the child feel responsible, trusted, and part of a social scene while making the alcohol not something they have to try to rebel.

Each child is likely different, but I think once a child becomes a teenager, 13, 14, 15, or so, that a small glass of wine with dinner on a special occasion that is served by the child's parents is not a bad thing, and can probably help the child understand responsible drinking and not make drinking taboo, causing them to seek it out without their parent's permission.

At the same time, I think it's the perfect opportunity to discuss alcoholism, alcohol abuse, and the law where underaged drinking is concerned, so they clearly know this is a special event that should only happen with mom and dad.

Great question.

Assuming you do not wish to run against the laws consider this handy chart by state.

http://www.alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/stateprofiles/

If you don't care about law (lawbreaker!) you may want to consider just enough for a sip or two in the mid to late teens (depending on maturity) some view this as a way to teach someone to respect wine & enforce the idea that drinking is only OK in moderation.

Only you can answer that question for yourself. You hopefully know your children and what their maturity level is and can determine if they are able to handle it. Also you must factor in your own drinking habits. They will obviously will look to you as a role model in how to handle alcohol. Good luck. Be wise.