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silverhammer 17
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1 year, 4 months ago

How old are people generally before they figure out that sex isn't the answer to everything?

Like that it's possible to be friends without having to have sex. That people can sleep in the same bed (naked even) and for it to not be sexual in any way. That nudity isn't pornographic and going without sex for weeks or months at a time isn't a sign of a failed relationship?

Does it always begin and end with a visit to the Doctor? I mean you take your clothes off there, lie down naked there, get probed there and not always just by one person at a time! That's not sexual, so why is everything else? And don't justify it as "necessary" it's still your body.

Because if it only boils down to personal opinion and circumstance then ANY situation could be or not be sexual and society isn't the judge. You are!

So how old does a person have to be before they figure this out on their own? Or for you will it always be about sex and why is that so important? Can it be about sex for you and not for someone else or is your interpretation the right one for everyone?

Why?
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tonybulmer's Avatar
tonybulmer | 1 year, 4 months ago
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The truth is some people just never learn. Look at Ron Wood from the Rolling Stones, or just about any of the Rolling Stones for that matter. Except for possibly Keith Richards, but you wouldn’t want to follow his example now would you?

Age does not bring wisdom, personal choice and experience brings wisdom. Mistakes are vital because they facilitate this process. Experimenting and having fun within sensible safe sex parameters is a vital part of this evolutionary journey.

The question makes certain assumptions. Sex isn’t the answer to everything? It certainly can’t solve advanced trigonometry or tell us where we left our car keys. But would we want it to? Sex is a very important, fun and enjoyable part of life. Something that no adult should miss out on. It is an essential part of life, a natural human instinct that is vital for a healthy and happy human existence. Sex becomes even better when it is part of a loving relationship.

Loving relationships may or may not involve marriage, but they should be consensual and (boo, hiss!) monogamous. If you ain’t ready for monogamy you ain’t ready for a loving relationship. In long term relationships sex can stop being such an issue. Oftentimes it is the female partner that feels this way, as for many, but not all women, the sex instinct is not as all consuming as it is for many men. How old do you have to be? The answer is that depends on a number of factors. But never make the mistake of telling your partner who wants sex that sex isn’t the answer to everything, or pretty soon you will be looking for a new partner.

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lvincentpoupard | 1 year, 4 months ago
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In my experience, most people do not grow out of this state of mind. If you do not believe me, enter any workplace in America that has both men and women in it. Notice that any friendly relationship between a man and a woman is interpreted by someone that they are having sex. Anyone with a roommate of the same sex is gay or a lesbian. Anyone of the same sex that is friends with someone who is openly gay is gay as well.

I have been in Europe, and I have found that their mentality on sex is much more advanced than ours. I have seen in European offices that there is much less of a rumor mill that is spun by who might be sleeping with whom.

You mentioned about going to the doctor. There are many people that are still nervous about being naked in front of a doctor well into old age. My wife, for example, will not go to a male doctor. She will only go to a female, and she is still uncomfortable then.

The next time that you are seeing a movie, take a look at the older couples. Usually, if there is a nude scene, you will see that the man looks at the woman in an uncomfortable fashion. It is like that man is nervous that the woman will think that he is getting a kick out of the nude scene. You will sometimes find this also in younger couples that are obviously in young love.

While many mature to the point of this question, I do not believe that the majority ever do.

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falcon18 | 1 year, 4 months ago Report

Good answer! The part about Europe is true. Different attitude here, definitely.. Girls walk hand in hand ( not lesbians, they are usually best friends, or even sisters) People don't seem to twist the meaning of sex here.

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meyermv | 1 year, 4 months ago
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I personally grew out of it after I met my husband, 20. I have male friends from work that he knows as well. Actually I think he's met all but one of the male friends that I have met at work (as opposed to friendly males that I work with). He knows that I go out to lunch and sometimes for a drink with them afterwork. He also knows that I don't have feelings for any of them, because I give all of my lovely dovey feelings to him.

On the other hand, sleeping in a bed (much less be naked) with one of my male friends is off limits. That is still a no go. I think it is because the 'bed' and being naked, has a 'history' behind it. And maybe we don't want to create other 'histories' in any bed. ???

"Because if it only boils down to personal opinion and circumstance then ANY situation could be or not be sexual and society isn't the judge. You are!" - Amen, brother!

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chester1 | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Sexuality is often something that is uniquely specific to an individual. It is impossible to determine whether or not a person will grow out of a being a sexual person. It sounds a lot like you have had the ability to separate sex from intimacy early on in your life. There are people like you who develop the ability to separate the notion of sexual intercourse from intimacy. Others people will develop this ability later in life and yet other never get to this point in their life to differentiate the difference between the two.

Also I think you have to look at the maturity level of the person in question. If normal American interaction between two adults occurs, his or her maturity level will determine their perception to the nature of your relationship.

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malichaixx | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Depends. Really. Some people never grow beyond the idea that having sex--and thus the idea that they are loved and physically attractive to someone--will make them happy. Some people grow out of it sooner or later. I was one of them. A string of bad relationships really messed with my head, and put me into that mode. It took me a good ten years to get out of it.

I'm 45 now, and I am much happier. the only opinions that matter are my own.

I think that any time anyone puts a disproportionate amount of emphasis on sex it means they feel empty and alone inside, and are looking to fill a void. this has nothing to do with age, though.

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bwell79's Avatar
bwell79 | 1 year, 4 months ago
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I came to the conclusion shortly after my 27th birthday....Sex complicates a lot of things....It can ruin what could have been. Sex can alienate people in friendships...it can turn things 'weird'. You can end up with child support. You can end up being pressured to be in a relationship. One morning you could even be tempted to chew your arm off just to get out of the situation without waking the other person up.
I don't recommend sex unless you are in a COMMITTED relationship. It isn't because of a religious view either.
One can always make love to themselves if they need:)

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jhntaylor87's Avatar
jhntaylor87 | 9 months, 4 weeks ago
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ameliacarlos | 1 year, 4 months ago
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no matter how old they may be even if it is the first step of maturity or the last stop of sexual drive, always the first time sex is the best and the next will never give the feel of the first and they will feel the weird boredom in doing it.
in this way some people will automatically figure out that sex isn't the only thing for all the questions(apart a few who get addicted to it).

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kazi09's Avatar
kazi09 | 1 year, 4 months ago
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it might be as high as 50

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albanian's Avatar
albanian | 1 year, 4 months ago
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I'll let you know when I reach that age. Don't hold your breath though, and the AARP has been pestering me to join for years!
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raphaelnad's Avatar
raphaelnad | 9 months, 4 weeks ago
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eugeneschnitz | 1 year, 4 months ago
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I also expect the answer

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