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3 years, 4 months ago

How many different ways can I be killed when the end of the world comes in 2012?

Be creative.
Tip for best answer: M$1.00
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timbrel calyx's Avatar
timbrel calyx | 3 years, 4 months ago
4
Since we will all be running for our lives in mass hysteria, you will be trampled. This will not, however, kill you. A kind, older gentleman will take you to the nearest hospital which will be devoid of personnel, but full of anxious and angry patients. The kind gentleman will then inform you that he is in fact, a doctor and will start you on an i.v. drip to prevent shock. What he does not know, is that the saline bag he has chosen was tainted with melanine, which is now coursing through your veins. This also, will not kill you.

You will ultimately meet your demise when, after the end of the world furor has died down and life returns to normal, you are given a chicken salad sandwich from hospital food services. It contains trace amounts of walnut oil to which you tragically seem to be allergic. The epi-pen used to try to save you fails and you die from suffocation due to anaphylactic shock.

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dyna4980 | 3 years, 4 months ago Report

This is nothing short of awesome....lol.

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hartwell's Avatar
hartwell | 3 years, 4 months ago
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The Mayans predicted that, on December 31, 2012 your Zune will fail. I'm not sure how that leads to your death, but you have almost 4 years to work out a plan to avoid it.

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kalane's Avatar
kalane | 3 years, 4 months ago
4
Bobcat attack
images:

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morriss003 | 3 years, 4 months ago
10
Al Gore will invent teleportation and you will be chosen to be the first vict.., eh, passenger. You will ask to be transported to your son. The operator of the device, William Shatner, agrees but misunderstands. You are burned to a crisp in the middle of our nearest star.

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dananimal's Avatar
dananimal | 3 years, 4 months ago
4

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bugsy | 3 years, 4 months ago
3
Here are some very creative ones (NSFW):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQOFM1RbnEQ

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dyna4980 | 3 years, 4 months ago Report

That video alone has made me not want to eat breakfast.

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clarusvisum | 3 years, 4 months ago
10
Tragic tree-hunting accident.
source(s):
(nod to George Carlin)

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whiskeybravo | 3 years, 4 months ago
5
Wow, I can't believe how lucky I am, no one got the right answer yet.

Obviously the number of ways you can be killed is 42
source(s):
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the only source anyone ever needs.

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dyna4980 | 3 years, 4 months ago Report

TRUE!!! LOL!

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boots of glory | 3 years, 4 months ago
0
Oh plenty. Of course there's the falling planetoid crushing (and incinerating) both you and the earth, but also insane looters and criminals - all in a violent frenzy due to the coming apocalypse. Aside from the rioting and falling sky, you should be pretty much safe, however after kingdom does in fact "come", you'll be forced to deal with and apocalyptic wasteland, devoid of any fresh food, water or any real protection at all. (not even shade from trees or, worse still, an ozone layer!)

Of course the real danger lies in yourself if you were to actually believe this unfounded mumbo-jumbo, and made sorry attempts to repent beforehand, (i.e: giving everything to charity) you would soon be made quite the fool and promptly take your own life.

Happy apocalypse everybody! =)

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offthedome | 3 years, 4 months ago
8
You take violin lessons. A violin string breaks and pokes you in the eye. The string is hooked at the end, so it really gets stuck. You can't pull it out, so your music teacher drives you to the hospital. On the way, the car runs over a cat, causing you to jam the string further into your skull. You scream so loud that a police officer stops you for noise pollution. When he comes to the car, he sees the string in your eye and assumes by your inability to speak and violent pointing at your music teacher and yourself that your music teacher is actually a serial killer. Your music teacher gets arrested, and the officer decides to put you in his car. On the way to the car, you step on a rock, and break your ankle. Because you've already lost your balance due to the eye string, you slam your broken ankle into the ground really hard, causing it to become a compound fracture. The compound fracture causes an extreme and blinding amount of pain and bleeding. At this point you lose all awareness of your body position as you scream in pain and your body loses blood. You scream so loud that you lose your voice. You veer into a parking lot, where they happen to be filming 28 months later. An actor assumes you're playing the part of a zombie, and shoots you in the arm. Seeing that you didn't go down on queue, he shoots you again, this time in your good leg. Now you are on your knees. You can't tell him to stop because your voice is gone. The actor closes in on you and does that dramatic shot-in-the-eye scene that they love to do in zombie movies. He sees that you only have one eye uncovered, your good eye, so he shoots you in it. You won't need it anyway, because you're dead.

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offthedome's Avatar
offthedome | 3 years, 4 months ago Report

Aww mann.... I messed up. I totally forgot the goal I was writing for in the middle of the paragraph :) It was totally a 4am insomnia fit of writing. Sorry.

dyna4980's Avatar
dyna4980 | 3 years, 4 months ago Report

It was a damn funny 4am insomnia fit. Then again my sense of humor is mildly twisted.

dyna4980's Avatar
dyna4980 | 3 years, 4 months ago Report

How does that work with the end of the world though?

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jeffhoard | 3 years, 4 months ago
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M$

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