Being a good mum has nothing to do with images in the media or magazines. It has nothing to do with reading all the right books and taking advice from everyone. It has nothing to do with following, or not, your mother's example. Being a good mother is about following your instincts and sticking to what you know is right for you and your child/ren.

If your child is happy, healthy and socially able, you are doing it right. Equally, if your child is none of those things, that does not mean you are doing it wrong. A child is an individual and should be treated as such, instead of being lumped in with the general guidance given to mothers about raising children. What is happiness for one child may be misery for another.

You are the best judge of what is right and wrong when raising your child. You know them better than anyone else. No parent on this earth will ever get it right all of the time and the trick is to accept that fact. Sometimes it all goes wrong, despite your best efforts. Chalk it up to experience, learn from it and move right along. Learn not to beat yourself up over mistakes. You're not a bad mother, just one who tries her best. A mother laden with guilt and insecurity is not going to enjoy parenting a child, and the child will sense the tension and react negatively to it.

Love your child, teach them respect for themselves and others, socialise them, encourage them and be there for them. Learn to stand back and let them 'fall and fail' and be ready to step back in when they need you and are ready to accept your help. That is doing it right. How you do it is an individual experience and a learning adventure, for both you and your child. Yes, talk to others and read books, ask professionals, but in the end, trust your gut, 'mother's instinct' if you wish. 99% of the time, what you feel is the right thing to do, is.

You can't always base the value of the motherhood on the way the children turn out. Sometimes the parents are great and the kids turn out bad anyway, sometimes due to outside influence, alcohol, drugs, other kids, etc.

However, the best way to tell if you are a good mother is to ask yourself a few questions:

When I discipline my children, do I do it with a teaching mentality instead of with anger?

When I attempt to hug my child, do they hug me back instead of shying away?

Do I take my child's feelings into consideration more than not when planning family outings, meals, together time?

Does my child seem proud to introduce me to friends and/or teachers?

And Especially ..........Do I tell my child I love them at least once a day?

If you can answer yes to all of these questions, then you are most likely a good mother. A good mother will always take the child's view under consideration. That is not to say that you have to eat cake for dinner every night, but you should let the child take part in planning a lot of the family stuff. Make them feel a part. Spend time with them doing not just the things you like to do, but things they like to do. Encourage their creativity even if it means that you eat purple pancakes or green mashed potatoes. Let them know that it is okay to be a kid and that you even relish that time. Don't make them feel like they have to grow up too fast because their childish ways annoy you.

Hi, a good mother gives her children respect and they give you respect back. You talk to them so they can talk to you always keeping an open line between yous. One who gives their children confidence to do anything and stands behind them never making them feel you don't back them up on their good decision, sharing time, but most of all when they are making bad decision confront them kindly letting them know they are a better person than that and they don't need to do those things to get anyone else's attention for to fit in. Your child is her own person and doesn't have to prove to others but you that you brought them up good and as long as that occurs you will also be there for them forever and ever with open hands and love because that is what a good mother does.

Well I will never be a mom.
However i know how my mom is like and can tell how she is and give a valid answer.

A good mom is someone who never experiences self-doubt.
Someone who gives the right amount of trust to their children but isn't afraid to pull the leash back tight if they do something to lose that respect / trust.

My mother takes her time and patience to learn and become interested in what I am and love to do.

You will be resent during high school most of the time but that will change with life experiences.

Your kid's like you. They call you and are involved with you. They are good kids and have good jobs and are well adjusted and can take whatever they choose on, because you are there to support them with a smile encouraging words and never ending love and respect.