How do you handle a husband who has a prejudice and keep it from influencing your daughter - who's best friend is Mexican?
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M$5 Answers
Depending on her age, you can explain to her that prejudice is wrong, and that it is born out of ignorance. Tell her that her father was probably taught to be prejudiced, because people are not born with hatred in their hearts toward people of other races or nationalities. Tell her that while she may disagree with her father, and she has every right to do so, she should respect him as her father, so if he doesn't want her friend at the house, however wrong that is, that is something you will deal with for her. She should never be put in a position where she has to come head to head with her father on this, as it could adversely affect her respect and love for him.
If her father gets violent about the situation and threatens your daughter or her friend, then you should leave. You should never expose your child to violence in any form, be it from racism or any other cause.
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M$What happened?
My sister's first boyfriend was black and she married a resident alien from Mexico and they had a child. My daughter's father is Hispanic, and she looks it.
The point: my dad's prejudice didn't affect our choices, and if you're teaching your daughter tolerance, as you must be for her to be friends with a Hispanic child, your husband is not influencing her choices in that regard. If he makes comments (which if he's a grown up, he won't in front of the child), your daughter will likely do what we did and sort of laugh it off and wave it away.
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M$On the note of prejudice being taught, my son from birth would cry in the arms of dark haired/eyed/skinned people. He is now a year old and still displays this prejudice. He likes people who look like him and his parents. (We are both fair haired, fair eyed.) Nobody taught him that. I didn't brain wash him in the womb. It definitely changed my view on how people came to be prejudice. In this case it was inborn and I don't doubt it isn't in other cases as well.You can prefer a certain type of people without being a racist or hateful, or even ignorant. Don't you have a "type"?
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M$
Thanks for the Best Answer! I'm glad to hear her father isn't violent.
Thanks for your answer! I really don't think it will come to violence. He's a pretty tame man and he loves his daughter very much! He has his own preconceived notions about Mexicans in particular because of past abusive behavior (toward his mother, I think) at the hands of a Mexican. I'm not saying prejudice of any kind is OK, but in his case maybe it's understandable - still wrong, but understandable. Regardless, his daughter should be allowed to make up her own mind and for now, it seems she has.