In answer to your question "How long is this kind of behavior appropriate?" It is never appropriate. If a kid has finished high school or college, and has shown no interest in getting a job or going on in school, it is way past time to get out an make a living for himself. Job are available out there, so is the military, the Peace Corps, and many volunteer opportunities.

You also ask "Is a few months of doing nothing still okay"--absolutely not. To be competitive in todays market the kid should have been looking for a job before they ever graduated along with putting in time in volunteer or paid positions in their field. Just because one has finished college does not give them leave to bum around the house and hang out with friends, 23 years old is past time to take responsibility and you as a mom or dad need to put your foot down and have a serious heart to heart with this 23 year old. Ask if they are ready to move out and find a job and why this has not been happening, seriously a***s your self any why you have not yet addressed this issue. Whatever you decide made a united front with your partner and do not let the child play one against the other.

First of all...use tough love. If you don't tell them the truth then who will. I'm not saying kick them out on their butts, instead give them an ultimatum. Either they get a job and help out or they have to get out. Or you can give them a certain time period to find a job and save up some money to get out and get there own place. If you make things at home unbearable for them they might want to get out any way. I can speak from experience, I moved out right after graduation into an apartment with a friend. It is hard finding a job in this little town but I managed to get on my own two feet. I am going to college and working and it feels great. I wasn't thrown out of my parents but I felt like it was my time to go and I was clashing with my dad so I left. I am doing pretty good on my own but that doesn't mean its that easy for everyone. If they are just being lazy and not wanting to do anything, then it is time for you to put your foot down and tell them how you really feel.

HI@jkepler

For teenagers and young people everywhere, there are many things to consider when they desire to become employed. Certainly, there is schoolwork to consider, and the added availability of money might not be something you are willing to grant them, but there are many benefits as well. The importance of getting a job, particularly at a young age, is extremely beneficial for youngsters in the modern world.

Of course, when parents consider the importance of getting a job, they first think about the responsibility that comes with it. While your child may not be the most responsible person around the house, or when they are out with their friends, a fundamental shift often occurs, where the child with a job finally sees themselves as an adult and is willing to accept the responsibility, both in the workplace and at home.

In today's world, it is no longer good enough to be a good student to get into college. You need to show that you are a good citizen, with volunteering experience, and that you have a well-rounded background. Having held a job, your child will have a better resume for getting into the college of their choice, as it goes to prove that they were responsible at an earlier age than most.

Also consider the importance of getting a job from the perspective of what happens outside of college. If the new graduate has little or no experience working your typical high-school age jobs, then they will have difficulty adapting to working internships or a regular 9-5 job once they graduate. It will also be difficult for hiring managers to consider them, given the number of experienced workers currently searching for a job.

Overall, it is up to you, the parent, to make the final decision, but the importance of getting a job cannot be simply boiled down to a student's responsibility or the amount of money they make. You must also consider the bigger picture, and be ready to deal with the consequences of a bad choice.

Unles the 23 year old is independently wealthy then it is unacceptable. Maybe after working hard, not partying, through College a few weeks to relax might be OK. But after that it is time for the kid to get on with their life. If you have to cut off all cashflow including using your vehicles outside of a job search then do so. Either go for your Masters or get a job. The job might not be in your field but you never know who you'll meet out there. There is no help in front of the TV or hanging out. If it's a guy not being able to date should motivate them if it's a girl not having make-uop and getting their hair done is a good motivator. Just push them out if you have to and twll them if they eat there they have extra chores to do around the house as they have so much free time-yardwork, laundry, etc..