It's pretty understanding that she would want to side with First Wife, since they are good friends, and your brother isn't any more her family than First Wife is, really. It also sounds like your brother may have been a little cruel in the way he dropped First Wife, and that it wasn't a very amicable divorce. That having been said, he's still your brother, and if you want him in your life, you should be able to spend time with him guilt-free. I don't think you should expect your wife to welcome Shop Honey with open arms, and host her for dinner at your house, but your wife should be understanding if you say something like "look, whatever he did, he's my brother. I don't agree with all of his choices, and I find it really unfortunate that First Wife, who is a good person, got hurt. But I'm going to see my brother, and I'm not going to apologize or make excuses. It would be great if you could come along sometimes, but if not, I'm just going to tell him you're not ready and that's that."

I expect you will always have a rift in your family over this, but you should be able to move back and forth between your brother and wife without problems if they both understand that you're not taking sides on the relationship issue, but you care about them both, and neither can kick the other out of your life. Think of them as two countries that don't really care for each other, but since you have dual citizenship, you're welcome in both. If your wife eventually comes around, great. If not, you don't have any more right to kick First Wife out of her life than she does to kick brother and Shop Honey out of yours.

The way I see it, this is not a situation in which you have to choose between your brother and your wife; rather, it is one were all you can do is respect both of their decisions. Regardless of whatever opinion you harbor over your brother's new love interest you must respect his decision and continue a relationship with him

Likewise, you must also respect your wife's decision not to wish to engage in a relationship with this new person.

From what I understood from your explanation, your wife just refuses to engage the new woman in contact, perhaps at some future date you might be able to establish a dinner between tour brother, your wife and yourself. It will not necessarily result in her accepting the new woman, but a dialogue might be opened between your brother and your wife.

Any permanent solution to this situation will have to start with just such a dialogue between your brother and your wife. Until then, respect both of their opinions, and do not feel torn between them.

Brother is always brother. The most important thing you should cherish! There always some ways to handle the problem, it depends on you!Hope you can help them!
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no way to choose brother because he is blood relation u must be accept and wife she is totally your choice.

You better choose your wife if you want to stay married to her. She identifies strongly with your brothers wife. Even if she can't admit it she probably subconsciously thinks that if one brother can do it another brother can too. This isn't about logic, it's about emotion and logica; arguments won't cut it. You should reassure your wife that you think what your brother did was horrible and unacceptable. Then you need to make sure your actions match your words. Keep away from your brother and his new honey. Don't think you can see him quietly on the side, your wife will consider this "cheating".

There is no way you can walk this tightrope and keep both sides happy. It's time to make a choice. Good Luck,