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2 years, 7 months ago via

How do you ask someone to stop dropping in uninvited?

If a friend or family member has a habit of just stopping in to visit without calling, how do you ask them not to, nicely? Or is it something that most people aren't bothered by?
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greenlasagna | 2 years, 7 months ago
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I have this problem for a couple of reasons. First, I just don't like uninvited guests. I'm not a great housekeeper, so it takes me awhile to get the house ready for company. When someone just pops in, they are liable to find the house in any state, even downright nasty, depending on what my workload has been lately. Second, I work at home with no set hours. I might be busy doing something with a deadline, and not want to be disturbed.

When people drop in uninvited, I usually just go stand on the front porch and talk to them, and they get the hint. If they continue to do it, or ask to come in, I just say "I'm sorry, but I'm very busy right now, but why don't you call me later, and we'll make plans to get together when I'm not working."

If they still don't get the hint, just put a sign on your door, with a notepad and pencil, that says something like "I am working. If this sign is up, and this is not a true emergency, please do not disturb me. You are welcome to leave a note with your number or call tonight and arrange a mutually convenient time for us to get together."

It's drastic, but it works most of the time. If THAT doesn't work, just be blunt, tell them they are being disrespectful and you will not answer the door for them anymore if they are not invited.

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buddawiggi2 | 2 years, 6 months ago
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I just don't answer the door. Just because you know where I live does not mean you can come over. The same holds true with my phone number.. just because you know it does not mean you can call me.
source(s):
lots of annoying experiences in the past

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buggedintx | 2 years, 6 months ago
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I have this problem with inlaws that live right up the road....MIL even showed up unannouced last night even though she thought I had company....they do it to everyone not just us...and then they get upset when you are not home when they DROP by....I have never been one to drop by anyone's house without their prior knowledge of me coming by...this drives me crazy and I feel it is very intrusive...they don't get the call first hint so I think I will start putting a sign on the door...DO NOT DISTURB>>>>call later!

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scenictimes | 2 years, 6 months ago
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I had the same problem with my father. The worst part being that he'd just walk in through the garage without even knocking and stay for 4-5 hours at a time expecting us to drop everything and entertain him. Finally, the next time we heard his car door shut, we took off all our clothes and when he came in the kitchen door saying "hello" we acted like we had to quickly separate, said "wait a minute" and then walked in the kitchen with a blanket wrapped around myself. Needless to say, he calls first now.

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annelisle | 2 years, 6 months ago
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If I don't want others to drop by uninvited at my house, I would just tell them to give me a call first before coming over. Then I would see to it that my answering phone is on saying I am busy at the moment and cannot entertain calls. Maybe this would give them a hint that I am busy and need to attend to some things and will not drop by at my house.

If for some reason he/she will not get the hint and appear on my doorway. I will just be honest that I am not in the mood and cannot entertain visitors. I think this would be best than acting uninterested or slamming the door on their face. I may not want visitors but I don't want to appear rude.

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komomai | 2 years, 6 months ago
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It's difficult and complicated to answer based on the little information you have given about youself, who the intruder is and the dynamic of your relationship. Since I'm not a professional counselor, I could only give you my opinion--which may or may not be good depending on whether or not I'm a moral/kind person or whether I'm synical/grumpy. Well, let's face it there are a lot more catagories of poeple than those I've give. I guess if I were to be honest to say it, I can't give you an answer. For all the reasons I've said above. I'm sorry.

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sunshine09 | 2 years, 7 months ago
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I would just ask that they call before coming and explian that you may be doing something that can not take an intruption. Most people will understand this request and have no further ado about it. Good Luck and Be stern in your request !!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ccdtrd/337789400/

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randync | 2 years, 6 months ago
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I don't answer the door after the first time somebody annoys me by dropping in uninvited. I can hear a car in my driveway and look to see who it is. If the person later asks why I didn't come to the door, I simply tell them I wasn't in the mood for company.

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keepontryin | 2 years, 6 months ago Report

I like your blunt and honest approach. It sound like something I might say: "because it's my door and I did't feel like answering it". I might add "You gotta know that's a possibility when you just drop in, so no big deal, right?"

With my friends, this would go over just fine. It's how we are.

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