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My mother neglects her needs and health. How do I convince her to take care of herself?
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thecommut... thecommut...
 
December 30, 2008 03:08 AM

My family is addicted to TV. What are some steps to directing their interests towards other activities?

Chewing gum for the brain!
My Mother, Father and two sisters-in-law are all excessively overweight. They recognize their problem and frequently complain about it. It is clear to me that their addiction to TV is not helping.
What are some subtle ways to ween them from this? I do not pay for the TV services so canceling DirecTV or selling the plasma is not an option.
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triviajunk... triviajunk...
 
 December 30, 2008 04:12 AM
If you want to get someone hooked on your ideas, you can give yourself a good start by talking to them about what they want. Obviously they want entertainment, but there are some bigger issues you ask about. For instance what do they want from life that they are not getting. You will have to ask this in a round about way, and be very interested when they start to open up. Show them you really care about what they need. This may take more than one conversation. especially since you cant just ask directly "what do you want." It will take time, but it will be worth it. Remember listen carefully.

Once you know what they want, internalize it. Make it something that you want as well. Find ways to get them what they want. If they want to enjoy their family, start a game night. If they want to pursue a hobby buy them lessons. Find what they want and show them how to get it.

You can do this if you want, but it will take a monumental amount of effort. You will be moving a mountain, not by picking it up all at once, but by moving one pebble at a time. You will have to be very careful not to move each pebble until it is ready, or the whole mountain will come down on top of you.

Timing will make or break each move. A conversation about a Y membership you bought someone cannot happen during the middle of their favorite show. You have to wait until they are ready.

Remember the big picture, and focus on the next step. Many times you will be confused or feel that you are at a roadblock. Be patient. Let your mind search for an answer. Very often I am stuck and see something that makes me realize how simple the answer is.

Find out what they want. Show them how to get it. Work slowly and patiently. Timing is everything. Give yourself the time to find the right answer.
Asker's Rating:
• Many good answers to this question that can be utilized to help the situation. I really appreciate everyone's assistance.
This one takes the cake for its step by step approach which helps me get started.
Thank-you very much!


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jewninja jewninja
 
December 30, 2008 03:12 AM
Remove the TV from every room in the house. Tell them it is for a trial basis for like two weeks. When the two weeks are past and everyone learns they can live without it, then just don't bring it back.

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thecommute... thecommute...
 
December 30, 2008 03:14 AM
How would you convince them to try it?

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jewninja jewninja
 
December 30, 2008 09:42 PM
Are you in charge of your house? If so just do it and expect there to be much resistance. It is like quiting smoking the first day is terrible and the next few are almost as bad. It gets easier everyday after that. Good luck.

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jewninja jewninja
 
December 30, 2008 09:46 PM
I'm sorry... I rushed to answer and owe you an apology. After rereading the question I realize you may not be in charge. The other folks who have answered you also have some good ideas. I like the fake broke one. But they would seek to get it fixed I would think. So it is during this crucial time that you will need a list of ideas and misdirecting chores to get them to take their minds off of it. Again my sincere apologies for not reading thoroughly. Thanks.

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thecommute... thecommute...
 
January 01, 2009 11:38 PM
No problem
Thanks for replying.
This is at my in-laws house where the father, mother and two sister-in-laws reside. They live very close to us and as such we are frequently stopping in.

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bmlhailsto... bmlhailsto...
 
December 30, 2008 03:53 AM
Invite them to do something different. Ask them to go for walks in the park, or go bowling. Invite them over for backyard BBQs and set up a volleyball net. Then make suggestions about how much fun they are having not watching TV. If they enjoy themselves enough doing other things, perhaps you can convince them to do more active things and watch less TV.

I watch a bundle of TV, but I still find time to stay fit and active by planning which shows I'm going to watch and when. I use the DirecTV guide and DVR all the shows I want to watch. Then if I don't quite make it to the set in time, it doesn't matter because it's recording so I can take my time doing whatever else I'm doing.

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mibchronic... mibchronic...
 
December 30, 2008 03:57 AM
As children my sister and I traded the television for a dog. Since everyone still enjoys sitting in front some form of entertainment my dad turned his computer into a media centre and we watched a lot of movies together instead. That was already a good step since movies require continuous commitment. This way you don't end up having the TV as a distraction but instead as an event that the family gathers to enjoy. Also, movies are much easier to ration than letting the tube run on and on and on. Watching one movie from beginning to end is usually quite satisfying.

As to getting your family to try other things, I suggest start cooking together. Especially, start cooking more elaborate meals. If everyone chips in not only do you get to bond in a different way than in front of the tv but you also get to eat tastier food!
Source(s):
Personal experience


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thecommute... thecommute...
 
January 01, 2009 11:41 PM
I like the elaborate meals idea. At least put some effort into something new. Get to their mind through the gut.
Thanks!

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glaspell glaspell
 
December 30, 2008 04:15 AM
Do they also like video games? Is anyone interested in the Wii? It seems to me that playing Wii sports together would actually be a great way to divert the existing TV dependence into a more productive and active realm, that would also lead to more interaction. Wii Fit is great, too, but more pricey and perhaps too extreme of a step if they are already weight conscious.

Another idea is to go to a zoo together, it's a good way of getting exercise while doing something fun that still involves looking at entertaining things. I'd imagine that wouldn't take a terrible amount of convincing.

Also, I think DrMatt's answer on how to get motivated could be very helpful for you here (http://www.mahalo.com/answers/psychology/how-can-i-get-motivated-stay-motivated) if nothing else works.

Say, for instance, you ask them if they'd be willing to walk to the mailbox with you or play a single game of cards (something short, like Speed, you could play in pairs) at a certain time of day. Something like a 5 minute time commitment; why would they say no to that? Then, they might realize they really like playing cards or walking with you, and want to do more of that than just that 5 minutes.

Again, MrMatt is my source for that idea, so if you really love it you might want to tip him instead of me, but I know it caught my fancy as a way to get people motivated on something that seems overwhelming (like changing a whole TV-watching pattern.)
Source(s):
http://www.mahalo.com/answers/psychology/how-can-i-get-motivated-stay-motiv...
My own experiences.


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christmas ... christmas ...
 
December 30, 2008 04:20 AM
fake it broken or just always watch boring tv shows so they dont want to watch them dont let them take advantage of you if you just let them sit around they will keep doing it take day hikes do yoga get gym passes it not the TVs fault its theirs its not your fault its theirs
Source(s):
my mind


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weatherman weatherman
 
December 30, 2008 05:00 AM
My family & were once pretty broke... We cancelled our cable subscription. It was an instant motivator to read to the kids,
and for them to do art work & play outside - and for us to do outdoor activites in general, like fish, hike, fly kites & play catch. It gave me an oppurtunity to better filter the things they did watch, because they were all videos that I brought home. My son has now played 3 team sports, & knows words and math concepts I bearly understand, or just recently learned myself... And he's 7. He loves to go online (supervised). We now have cable again, & usually I wish it was gone.

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carriep carriep
 
December 31, 2008 04:54 AM
Board games or card games are another option if you want to get them away from the TV completely (though I think video games can be a good idea).

There are some very fun games that get you up and moving a little bit too. Cranium is a fun one with many different types of questions with some of the questions requiring you to get up and move.

Taking up a hobby or class as a family might also be fun depending on what is available in your area and how much money you have to spend.

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tracebooks tracebooks
 
December 31, 2008 11:35 PM
Sounds like it's going to be a several-step approach. "Dropping seeds" about changes will be a part of all of it.

Keep inviting them to do various things with you to get them out of the house. In good weather, invite them on a picnic somewhere interesting. In bad weather, find museums with interesting exhibits; sports complexes where people can come in and participate in various things; have them come over to play games (and tell them your service is out--unplug something so that it really is).

Don't talk with them about how THEY need to do things. Share with them how you're trying something, and how much better you feel: "You know, last night I shifted in bed, and something popped and now that spot that's been aching in my lower back feels so much better! I think it finally popped because I lost 10 lbs. last month." Or "Wow, my feet feel so much better now. I think because I lost 10 lbs. so fast I can really feel it." I did this and got...let's see, at last count, 7 people dieting and exercising along with me. I never lectured; just shared and invited.

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thecommute... thecommute...
 
January 01, 2009 11:47 PM
I like the "proxy" approach you propose. Letting them know that I feel good as a result of something I did may inspire them to try it or express an interest in it as well.
Thanks

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