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What is your thoughts on infidelity?
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Simple: I think that infidelity hurts a relationship, often completely ruining it.
There are deep seated, biological reasons to want your partner to be faithful. These have to do with your chances of procreating. If a woman cheats on a man with another man, she could become pregnant with the second man's baby, thereby keeping her actual partner's genes from being passed down.
If a man cheats on a woman, he may leave her and not be there to help raise her children, giving them (at least in primitive times) a lower chance of survival.
Because this is so much part of our nature, I don't understand when people are "polyamorous" or have open marriages. If that's what they want, it's their choice. However, I think a lot of them end up being very hurt. They think they want the open relationship at first, but don't realize how it can damage them emotionally.
There are deep seated, biological reasons to want your partner to be faithful. These have to do with your chances of procreating. If a woman cheats on a man with another man, she could become pregnant with the second man's baby, thereby keeping her actual partner's genes from being passed down.
If a man cheats on a woman, he may leave her and not be there to help raise her children, giving them (at least in primitive times) a lower chance of survival.
Because this is so much part of our nature, I don't understand when people are "polyamorous" or have open marriages. If that's what they want, it's their choice. However, I think a lot of them end up being very hurt. They think they want the open relationship at first, but don't realize how it can damage them emotionally.
voted helpful: drmatt
Voted as best: defolts, krysstel, davidx, ayla_zed, mysterygirl89, dannyjohnson, krusheasy, the_beard
Open marriages and polyamorous relations are different from infidelity. Infidelity is done in secret, which is always hurtful for the other partner. An open marriage can enrich and strengthen a marriage, as long as both partners feel comfortable with it.
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This is an absolute statement. I've seen plenty of relationships become stronger after dealing with infidelity.
Infidelity is a big sign that the relationship is not going smoothly at all. If the infidelity is affecting a couple with no children then the potential damage is limited. However, if it affects a family then it would be devastating because it could lead to a divorce and forever scarring the relationship between the parent and the children.
voted helpful: drmatt
Voted as best: mithrandir
Since you didn't specifically say, I'm going to say that infidelity is a great thing...in regards to definition #3...
1.a. Unfaithfulness to a sexual partner, especially a spouse.
b. An act of sexual unfaithfulness.
2. Lack of fidelity or loyalty.
3. Lack of religious belief.
1.a. Unfaithfulness to a sexual partner, especially a spouse.
b. An act of sexual unfaithfulness.
2. Lack of fidelity or loyalty.
3. Lack of religious belief.
I'm quite sure he meant sexual infidelity. However, I agree with you. Lack of religious belief is a very good thing.
Infidelity happens for many different reasons. As other people have said, it can indicate a major problem in a relationship. It could "destroy" a relationship... or it can make the relationship stronger. It really depends on the people in the relationship.
I've worked with couples that have been devastated by infidelity... and I've seen couples work it out. I think the keys I've found to surviving infidelity is for the cheater to agree that intimacy outside of the relationship are wrong and BOTH parties need to understand how they contributed to the problem. That's right... I lay "blame" on both individuals... and both have a responsibility to repair the relationship.
I've worked with couples that have been devastated by infidelity... and I've seen couples work it out. I think the keys I've found to surviving infidelity is for the cheater to agree that intimacy outside of the relationship are wrong and BOTH parties need to understand how they contributed to the problem. That's right... I lay "blame" on both individuals... and both have a responsibility to repair the relationship.
I believe people, probably more men than women, are serial monogamous. Not to justify infidelity, or cheating, but people date as teens, and get married (hopefully later in life). Even when divorces and deaths occur, people pick up and find another mate.
This can happen right in the middle of marriage, or long commitment. Someone comes along, and inspires something that the current mate just doesn't have, or had.
I think this is part of the reason marriage was created in the first place, to try to make it official that both spouses make it policy to no longer rove, but it's an institution that is put on top of a biological process that sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. People like to breed, so sex is always important, even if it is said it is not.
Then comes the expectations. What women think is a healthy sex life, and what guys think are natural, are typically on the other side of the universe. What makes it rough is that many women try to condition their kind of sex life, which is nearly starvation to the guy. He might not founder for many years, but once that right girl presents herself, it's almost impossible for a guy not strike out and liberate his every desire (while even being in love with his current mate).
Some would say this is ridiculous, but consider male sperm. There are three classes of sperm. The blockers, the attackers and then the runners who go after the egg. I believe before man knew any history, we breed a bit differently than what is expected now.
This is elegant proof about the biology.
This can happen right in the middle of marriage, or long commitment. Someone comes along, and inspires something that the current mate just doesn't have, or had.
I think this is part of the reason marriage was created in the first place, to try to make it official that both spouses make it policy to no longer rove, but it's an institution that is put on top of a biological process that sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. People like to breed, so sex is always important, even if it is said it is not.
Then comes the expectations. What women think is a healthy sex life, and what guys think are natural, are typically on the other side of the universe. What makes it rough is that many women try to condition their kind of sex life, which is nearly starvation to the guy. He might not founder for many years, but once that right girl presents herself, it's almost impossible for a guy not strike out and liberate his every desire (while even being in love with his current mate).
Some would say this is ridiculous, but consider male sperm. There are three classes of sperm. The blockers, the attackers and then the runners who go after the egg. I believe before man knew any history, we breed a bit differently than what is expected now.
This is elegant proof about the biology.
Voted "No best answer": aaeeiioouu13, philipy,
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