Ask questions via twitter! Message any question to @answers on twitter. We'll publish the question and send you a reply each time there's a new answer.
Next Question

Answered Question

spankeyle... spankeyle...
 
M$1.25 September 17, 2009 07:02 PM

I backed my wife's car into a post last week, didn't tell her, this week she noticed and thought someone else did it....

....in the parking lot at work. Should I confess?
Interesting Question?  Yes (1)   No (0)   

Interesting: bunnyphuphu M$0.25

RSS
 
 

Best Answer  Decided by Votes

quesera quesera
 
 September 17, 2009 11:42 PM
Because you're asking, I am assuming you're the kind of person whose conscience can get to him. Do you want this issue to be an anxiety-causing thing every time she comments about the incident? Do you want to wonder if you're worthy of her trust? Personally, I think you should 'fess up. Something along the lines of: "I've done something I'm not very proud of, and I feel weird about keeping it from you. I was the one who damaged your car, and I want to make it right."

Other reasons you should tell her:

-If she reports it to her insurance company as a hit and run, and they view the damage and say "no, you clearly backed into a pole, and we can tell that" (assume they see a lot of this) they might accuse her of trying to commit insurance fraud. Which is illegal and usually means you can't get coverage anymore.
-You have shaken her faith in people. If she's the sort to stew over it, she might be incredibly bitter that someone hit her and didn't leave a note. Having that cynical anger is not only unpleasant, it's actually physically unhealthy for you.


Helpful Answer?  (5)   (0)   

Helpful: silverhammer, bunnyphuphu, stanar, jeffhoard, librarian

Tip quesera for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 
bunnyphuph... bunnyphuph...
 
September 18, 2009 01:01 PM
Great answer @quesera - and welcome to Mahalo!
As soon as the new "Answer of the Day" thread opens, I'll be sure to add this one!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/33749589%40N07/3917686970

Report
 
 
lesliec lesliec
 
September 21, 2009 03:20 PM
Congratulations! Your answer won second place in the Answer of the Day Contest! You won a $2.00 tip and are now the proud owner of the tiki torch!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/33749589@N07/3916894609/

Report
 
 

Other Answers (6)

Sort By
redgold redgold
 
September 17, 2009 08:20 PM
I would be honest with her, though she will probably be upset that you didn't tell her you had done it in the first place. A car can be repaired very easily while lying (or omitting) important things from your partner can cause irrepairable damage to your marriage.

Take your knocks for messing up her car, fix it and move on.

Helpful Answer?  (0)   (0)    Tip redgold for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 
geekmiser geekmiser
 
September 18, 2009 12:40 AM
yeah, there has been some advice to fix it, then tell her - that's a horrible idea. that is not a win-win situation. that's a situation that she would view as a wtf situation. like, you only felt guilty enough to fix it after i noticed? so... i agree with redgold. up front and honest, apologize for not fixing it or telling her sooner, and get it fixed.

Report
 
 
marvin13 marvin13
 
September 17, 2009 08:23 PM
Let's look at the situation. It's been a week and you haven't told her. If you tell her now, there's a big chance that she'll get mad at you. If you don't tell her know and she finds out later, she'll get mad at you. Just tell her you feel bad about her car and you'll have it fixed. She might even appreciate you more.

Helpful Answer?  (0)   (0)    Tip marvin13 for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 
soundboy soundboy
 
September 17, 2009 10:01 PM
That's a tough one. If you had told her right away, that might have been the best. But now that she thinks someone else did it and you didn't tell her yet, telling her now might make it worse because then she thinks you have been dishonest with her about it for the last week. I think there would be less drama if you didn't confess to it, but then there would still be that lingering guilt feeling about it. It could be one of those things you don't tell her about until like 10 years later, and then you both just laugh about it.

Helpful Answer?  (0)   (0)    Tip soundboy for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 
mmar321 mmar321
 
September 17, 2009 10:42 PM
fix it and then tell her. Then your in the clear and in a win win situation. One you told the truth, two you fixed it, and three you got her car washed. You gotta get the car washed.

Helpful Answer?  (0)   (0)    Tip mmar321 for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 
jill447 jill447
 
September 18, 2009 08:09 AM
You need to tell her. You should have told her right away. The longer you keep it from her, the angrier she’ll get because you lied. Trust and honestly is a two way street, and if you don’t want her to lie to you, then don’t lie to her. A car is not the end of the world. She'll get over it really quick, and if she doesn't, remind her that there are more important things in life and at least the car still runs.

Helpful Answer?  (0)   (0)    Tip jill447 for this answer
Permalink | Report
Voted as best: psionandy
   Reply  
 
 
trinifigue... trinifigue...
 
September 20, 2009 11:30 AM
Yes! Tell her the truth.
She might get upset and be upset for a day or two.
But if, somebody you do not know about, saw you damage her car and tells her,
you are going to have a bigger argument with her.
Also remember that you need to tell her that you will take it to get fix and that you will pay for everything. In addition to that, offer her your car until her gets fix. Fixing it should not take more than 2 days.

Helpful Answer?  (0)   (0)    Tip trinifigueroa for this answer
Permalink | Report
   Reply  
 
 

Answer this Question

How tips and payments work

This question has already been resolved. You may add an answer to it but you will not be eligible to win best answer or any associated tips.

Related Questions

View All Etiquette Questions

Ask a Question


140 characters left
Top of Page
Buy Mahalo Dollars with Credit Card or PayPal

Top Members

This Week All Time
  • buddawiggi
    buddawiggi
    2nd Degree Black Belt
    27933 Points
    M$806.66 Earned
  • opher
    opher
    Purple Belt
    4757 Points
    M$203.72 Earned
  • annelisle
    annelisle
    Purple Belt
    3308 Points
    M$99.72 Earned
   See All
 

Most Popular Tags

mahalo(1641)
twitter(956)
iphone(468)
music(465)
google(361)
food(327)
internet(310)
online(298)
beer(281)
money(267)
movies(265)
apple(253)
facebook(244)
aotd(235)
answers(231)
health(221)
video(210)
free(207)
dog(205)
windows(198)
   See All
 

Categories

Welcome New Members


 
 
Mahalo Dollars are the currency of Mahalo Answers.

Each Mahalo Dollar costs $1.

Once you earn more than 40 Mahalo Dollars, you can request to be paid via PayPal. Each Mahalo Dollar is currently worth $0.75 when paid out via PayPal. Learn More

 
 

Please log in to use this function.

Answers Home | Ask a Question | Earn Points | How Tips Work | Widget