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1 year, 10 months ago via

Do we decide who we fall in love with, or is it a force that is beyond our control?

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msmuffintop | 1 year, 10 months ago
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You may feel an instant affinity for someone, although you may call that "love at first sight" it is generally more a physical attraction because you don't KNOW anything about the person. During the infatuation stage of a relationship you may attribute belief and characteristics to the person you are infatuated with, and once again, CALL this "love", that doesn't make it so. You chose to love people based on who they are, how they treat you, how you feel about yourself around the person - much of it being projection.

Sometimes the feeling of "love" persists even after we have made a conscious decision to disengage because the person is an alcoholic, drug addict, or no longer interested in us. In the event, it does feel "beyond" our control.

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bklynjs | 1 year, 10 months ago
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In my experience and looking at others it is always the woman ho picks the man. We as men might go up and do theasking but in the end the woman decides who she wants.

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unwirklich | 1 year, 10 months ago
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While I believe who we can fall in love with is limited (as in the concept of soul mates is one I do follow) I do think we have a choice to fall in love. Life presents us with choices, we have a group of people that we are genetically compatible with, these people are people we find "attractive", we have choice of who and which of this pool to pursue. However within this pool of people I believe there is only one single, true love making us choose to believe the person we are with is this person and decide if we love this person in the true sense of the word or simply care for and about them. Fate presents us with this person and acceptable breeding and life partners but does not force us down any one road.
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cherise | 1 year, 10 months ago
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I believe, as others have posted, that nature causes us to be attracted to men (or women) with whom we are physically compatible. However, out of this pool of people we are attracted to, I absolutely believe it is our choice to fall in love or not.

Love is a choice and an action, not an emotion. Falling in love means choosing to care about someone, to allow their happiness and safety to matter to us. Loving someone means taking care of them, listening to them, being there for them, entertaining them, and encouraging them to meet their potential.

Of course, once we choose to make someone matter so much to us, of course we get emotionally involved, as well. Most people are not aware that they are making this choice, but I believe that it is a choice.
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