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chitbippi chitbippi
 
February 15, 2009 10:43 AM

Question for men - What to do now?

A follow up to my original question (see below) -
He didn't call so after four days I phoned him and had to leave a voice mail.where I got nervous and just left my name and number. He returned my call a day later but had to leave a voice mail where he sounded nervous with a lot of "ums" I phoned him back and again received his voice mail. Again, I got nervous, didn't reveal the intention of my call (to see if he was still interested in getting together and, if so, asking him to go for coffee) Now, he hasn't returned the call and it's been 2 days. What to do now? Just give up on him and assume he is no longer interested? I don't "chase" men or push when I am not wanted so....
Thanks in advance for your feedback.
************************************************************************
Original Question
Question for men: Will he call or should I?
I met a guy at the library. He acted interested - made a point to stay, talk about the movies I was taking out, asked me if I was going to watch them alone, then asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with him sometime. I said "yes that would be nice." Before I left, he was unsure I was interested and said -"So I guess I will see you around here sometime." I asked if he wanted to exchange phone numbers, he said yes. and we did. I am not one to call a guy first and feel like it's up to him since he seem interested. If he doesn't call in a week or so, should i make the effort to call him (even though that is not like m
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Best Answer  Chosen by Asker

williamwac... williamwac...
 
 February 15, 2009 10:43 PM
You didn't post a profile so I am proceeding without any information about your personality.

You are both acting like seventh graders. Grow up.

If you don't already realize it, he is more afraid of approaching you than you are of approaching him. You are both afraid of rejection.

(I don't "chase" men or push when I am not wanted so... )

At this point you have evidence that he is interested. If he were not, he would not have returned your call.

He is thinking the same thing right now. Neither of you is being honest with yourself or the other.

One of you is going to have to take a chance on being rejected. I can tell you it will not be him. I know that because I am him. Most of us are terrified of being rejected by women we like. There are a few of us who are not afraid, or just don't care. You don't want so meet any of those guys anyway.
Source(s):
Shy male.

Asker's Rating:
• Thanks for your honest and direct answer. I appreciated it. I took the chance, left a more direct vm and asked if he was still interested in getting together. He called me back very quickly and said "it's just a very busy time now," sounded very shy and nervous. I am no longer interested nor is he.


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juve10 juve10
 
February 15, 2009 12:09 PM
I think you should call him, until you actually hear his voice, and when you talk, you'll know his opinion and everything will be clear. He's also probably tired of voice mails, and it seems unserious to him.

Call him now! :)

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djscram djscram
 
February 15, 2009 01:33 PM
Don't call unless you're willing to ask a direct question or leave a clear message. Normally, he would have gotten back in touch with you if he was really interested, but your premise seems to be that he's painfully shy. If you make your intent clear "I'd like to get together with you again" in your message, then he'll clearly respond. Or not respond. Which will eliminate your question.

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sr01231 sr01231
 
February 15, 2009 05:14 PM
Just give up on him. Let him make the first move. Try reading "The Rules" by Ellen Fein. This will really help you.

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