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sixpack sixpack
 
M$3 August 11, 2009 12:08 AM

If a guy and a girl are best friends for a long time is it normal that she would get jealous of his girlfriend? Can it really mean anything?

Ok so I've been friends with this girl for a long long time, since I was around 12/13 (I'm 18). We get on great, really hit it off and I always have a laugh with her. I won't lie, I completely fell head over heels for her. I did tell her how I felt before but she chose to go out with another guy, her ex. In the meantime I got with a really great girl and she got with another guy. This girl I was with really was great and we hung out a lot, although from time to time I couldn't help think of my best friend. Eventually my relationship fizzled out with my girlfriend and my best friend's fizzled out with her boyfriend.

A few months before we broke up, my best friend told me that she felt jealous of my ex, whenever she saw us together, and she just couldn't deal with it to the point where she couldn't be with her ex boyfriend anymore. I hope I haven't lost you... but was her jealousy the completley irrational loss of a friend? Or something much more? To this day if we're ever talking (we live at a distance now after I moved) she says that she never realised how much I mean to her before I hooked up with my ex that time. We bumped into each other by complete chance at a concert over the summer, and rocked out to Snow Patrol... and I have to say that it was one of the happiest moments of my life (and I don't really know why?!) So girls, this normal? Am I looking into it too much and she doesn't really like me that much?
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lostsnconf... lostsnconf...
 
 August 13, 2009 05:37 PM
aww...this is very cute. I think that it is totally normal for two best friends to start falling for each other. I believe that if she is open enough to tell you that she is jealous of your ex then that means that it's more than just like. I believe that she has fallen for you as well. She broke up with her boyfriend because she saw you and your ex together meaning that she wishes she was her with you. She wasn't happy with the relationships that she's been with and is waiting for you. She's probably waiting for you to ask her out. Now, I may be wrong, but that's what I truly think.

You said that you don't know why that night at the concert was one of the happiest moments of your life. I believe that being with certain people in certain situations makes a difference in your moods (hope that made sense). You could have gone to the concert not knowing that she was there, have fun but not as much fun as you would have had with her there. I'm pretty sure you know why you had so much fun at that concert, you just don't want to be wrong.

You have so much proof that shows that she's into you and you probably have more. Right now the only thing that's holding you back is fear. Maybe you're afraid of it not working out or not being right about how she feels. Don't be afraid of asking her out. If she says yes to a date, then you know that you're right about her liking you. Just DON'T BE AFRAID!!!!

We miss out on the best things in life because we're afraid of what may or may not happen. It's never a bad thing to try. Asking her out may turn out to be one of the best things you have ever done in your life.

You'll never know til you try it!

Good Luck to the both of you!
Asker's Rating:
• You gave me what I needed by helping me to see things a little differently. I dunno if we could make it work long distance but eventually I definitely think it will work. Great answer, and mainly because you picked up on little details that others missed (some answers could be applied to any question vaguely like this). You're a great listener and an even better answerer. Thank you!!


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courxo courxo
 
August 11, 2009 12:35 AM
Well I'll give my point of view, don't know if it will help but i'll try ~~ It seems to me that she either:

1) Likes you a lot but doesn't know it herself or
2) Feels like she's lost her friend.

In my opinion I think it would be number one,if you've been friends since you were 12/13, you guys, I take it you are very close. And maybe she doesn't realize she likes you because you've been friends for so long and she doesn't think she could love her best friend. Anyways, after reading what you put I automatically thought that you two should probably be together, you obviously care about her and really enjoy spending time with her , and she gets jealous seeing you with other girls. Honestly I think she likes you, but can't sort out her feelings, or doesn't understand her feelings. I'm not sure what else to put, but it seems that you really care about her , and she cares about you , so, next time you talk to her, why not try talking about your relationship ? Anyways , I hope this helps, I could probably elaborate more but this pretty much sums up my opinion ~~
Source(s):
personal experience


Tags: bestfriends

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angiem1981 angiem1981
 
August 11, 2009 01:27 AM
It could be both ways. Sometimes us girls don't realize what a good thing we have until we lose it. I would almost definitely say that she has some type of thing for you. Anytime that I have ever been jealous of one of my male friends girlfriends, it's been one of two things. Either I was insecure about myself in the sense, it seemed like she had something I didn't or I had a thing for that guy, even though it did not dawn on me at the time. If it bothered your "friend" enough that she had trouble being with her own love interest then she definitely has some feelings harbored for you. No, I don't think that you are seeing too much into this. Been there, done that and it is very confusing. It sounds like this could be the real deal for you and maybe her. However, don't put off on making your move so to speak. Life is too short. Is there some way that maybe you could see or talk to her a little more often? Don't wait around until you get another girlfriend and she gets another boyfriend, it may become too late. Call her, text her, go and see her. I wish you the best of luck and remember some of the best love stories start as friendships.

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bobbyrithm... bobbyrithm...
 
August 11, 2009 01:58 AM
I'm not a girl but I like to think that I know them really well..ha ha. I'm going to answer your question with a question. Hope you don't mind.. Did she ever tell you how jealous she was of you and your girlfriend when she was in the middle of a relationship or is this just something that came out when she was single and lonely? If you answer yes, then you guys really need to figure out what your feeling. If you answered no, then she was basically just throwing out feelers to see where you stand and to possibly boost her self esteam a little. (nothing wrong with that) I like to call it "fishing for compliments"

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sixpack sixpack
 
August 11, 2009 09:04 AM
Well we were both in relationships but only a few weeks after I got with my (then) girlfriend we found out that I had to move far away so we wouldn't be seeing each other every summer any more. So we figured it would be cool to write each other a letter as a sort of cool goodbye (and say the stuff that's really hard to say, like if you think it's your last goodbye). In the letter she said she loved me and felt jealous of my ex and hated seeing me with her... so we were both in relationships at the time. This was a one-way letter thing, do you think she could've been fishing for compliments still?

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bomber227 bomber227
 
August 11, 2009 06:18 AM
Maybe your best friend didn't exactly mean "jealous". Your freind probably just felt that your ex didn't quite know you and understand you as much as your she did. Your friend may have thought that do deserve a little better than your ex.

And yes, it is completely normal for your friend to feel that way, like I described above. All it is is a great friend looking out for another great friend.

Tags: jealous, girlfriend, friend, best, ex

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finfribble finfribble
 
August 11, 2009 02:29 PM
She probably missed you as a friend because she realized her connection to you was being replaced by your connection with your girlfriend to some degree. A 5 year friendship is a serious thing and the introduction of a boyfriend or girlfriend would undoubtedly raise some feelings of jealousy, etc regardless of whether she likes you romantically.

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stef382 stef382
 
August 11, 2009 08:13 PM
I strongly believe that guys and girls can be friends without either party developing extra feelings. My guess would be that your best friend was jealous of your then-girlfriend because you spent more time with your girl than your best friend, or at least it seemed that way. She may not have fully appreciated your friendship until you had a new girl in your life.

That being said, there is always a possibility that she developed a crush on you. But I would keep to being friends unless it becomes completely obvious.

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squirrelie... squirrelie...
 
August 12, 2009 12:01 AM
Dude sounds like YOU really like her and she probably likes you and if she was jealous then she at least wants you all to her self. To bad you moved because it sounds like you guys would be good together, but with that said you have to think about if you guys did date, then something went wrong you would most definitely lose her. Though you don't want to wait forever and then, one of you confesses your love to the other at one of your weddings. Basically you really need to talk to her and not us because she is the one with the answer you want.

and yeah it is normal for a girl best friend to get jealous when you get a girlfriend, she was so used to having you to herself that she never thought that one day she might not have you because your off with your other girl and then that realization that you were another girl's upset her and caused her to dislike the person taking her best friend away. I know how that feels I hated my best friend's girl and I realized just how attracted I was to him but I was to afraid to make a move because I didn't want to lose him forever because if we had broken up then I would lose a friend and a boyfriend, plus he was moving away for college and it would have just been a wreck so I just sucked it up and moved on but I still really don't like his current girl even though I have my own boyfriend that I couldn't live without.

sorry if this doesn't make sense but I hope it helps.

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firewife21... firewife21...
 
August 12, 2009 02:46 AM
Well I dont think that my anwer is a "know all say all answer" but I can tell you from my own personal experiance that yes, I would think that this a normal reaction. Which, really boils down to fear. Jealousy is a feeling that stems off of fear and insecurity. When my stepson came to me with the same situation, I'll tell you like I told him, you two are friends, it is completely normal for their to be feelings like that, and personally the best person to love, is a best friend. When you see them with someone else, it brings up you may not have ralized were there. Which can be overhwhelming at times, you just need to stay level headed, think about the other persons feelings, not ignoring you own. I hope that makes sense?
Source(s):
Personal experiance


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dibyadas dibyadas
 
August 12, 2009 10:39 AM
Look the girl has fallen in love with you and i think that you too are.
She is jealous when she finds you with your ex and this is the symptom that she likes you.
and you too like in spending time with her that means u have also fallen in love with her.
If a guy and a girl are friends for a long time and if the girl is jealous when she finds his friend with a girl it means that the girl has fallen in love with the guy............................

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brittany_p... brittany_p...
 
August 12, 2009 10:59 PM
You and the girl have grew up together. Both of you two are in love with each other more than just friends. If you two are both really into each other than you should be togther if you can have an serious relationship. But if that relationship fails then your friendship could get lost. I myself can take a great stab that she likes you alot and she just wasnt to sure if you were serious about liking her. Apparently she is trying to get you to realize that she likes you saying that she was jealious of you girlfriend find a way to contact her and talk to her about who knows where you two could end up =]]


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vijay_vino... vijay_vino...
 
August 13, 2009 02:20 PM
when people are friends for very long time they will automatically have an unrealized attachment to each other and we cannot deny it . So its common that she felt jealous of your gal...

make it clear from her heart is she in love with you if you both feel comfortable moving along throughout life and if you both are single you cant get a better partner than a friend who understands you well

if there is nothing so in both of your heart to have love relation then carry on being friends and keep rocking...

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