Have someone else email her. You can have someone email your crushes, and then you email their crushes. Maybe she changed her email address, or doesn't want to email you back for some reason.
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After 4 years she's probably married with children.
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@teduncan: Honestly, how do you see this as taking a risk? It's e-mail. It's avoiding personal contact. You both can ignore it and claim it was a spam filter or someone messing with your e-mail account.

Given that the medium for "honesty" was impersonal, I would not expect a response at all. That would be the easiest on you.

At the worst, your e-mail will be forwarded to ridicule the attempt at making a connection. Depending on what was typed, this could be no big deal, or it could be embarrassing.

If you are too scared to say anything face-to-face, then what kind of chance will you have at making any kind of intimate relationship.

Best case? Call her or find a way to run into her. If necessary, have a common friend help. Play off the e-mail as a stupid way of getting in touch with her. Apologize for being lame. Offer to start over with coffee and pie, and tell her to please ignore the junior-high antics.

It sound brutal on paper, but in reality, sincere women appreciate _personal_ contact. They appreciate that you can admit when you're wrong/lame/clumsy. They like that you feel a bit awkward. And, most of all, they like pie. (Who doesn't?)

If you get an email response that is positive, I will take my aching bones elsewhere. I'll admit that I'm old and completely out of touch. But at least ask her about the pie. I'm 95% sure I'm right.
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