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Answered Question

danielle

M$1.00 Funded By Mahalo ? | April 07, 2009 04:24 PM

What do you think of dating "exit interviews"?

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philipy

April 07, 2009 06:01 PM

Calling it an "exit interview" is not a great idea. And most people are not going to be in the mood for it right after the break up.

However, at some point a conversation to faciliate closure would be a great idea. But I don't think it should remotely be anything that could be described as an interview. What would be constructive and possible is a conversation that combines some of these...

Apologies - "I'm sorry I did X" / "I was a jerk about Y" etc

Acknowledgement & Appreciation - "It didn't work out for us, but I still think you're really great" / "You were always there for me" etc

The future - "I'm sure you'll find someone wonderful, you really deserve that" / "We can still be friends, I'd like that" / "I don't think I could handle being friends, but I wish you all the best" etc

If you can have a conversation like that, it will be good for both people.

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Voted as best: jeffhoard, pazaq

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drmatt

April 07, 2009 04:50 PM

It would be SO great! I encourage people who are ending a relationship to have a professional untangle in a calm and appropriate way. I do both marriage/relationship counseling as well as divorce therapy. Sometimes relationships don't work... and I want to make sure people separate with a modicum of decorum.

I really wish there was a service (now that I'm thinking about it, maybe I'll steal this idea) that conducted "exit interviews" for the ending of a relationship. Unfortunately, I don't think people want to do this. Most people just want to run away from the intense feelings and forget about it. Unfortunately, people don't learn from these endings... which might help them in the future.

Great idea! (I'll send you a percentage!)

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