The best is to be honest and simple about it like, "Sorry this relationship appears not to be working."
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When you decide to break up with your partner, it is likely that you will want to get it over as quickly as possible. Slow down, and take the time to do it right.

1 Decide why you want to break up. If your reasons aren't clear but you know that something just doesn't feel right, it may be hard to explain why you are breaking up and you may end up doubting yourself later. You have to think about why the relationship isn't working for you and keep focused on that.
2 Write in a journal, it can help you sort out your feelings more effectively.
3 Practice what you are going to say so that it comes out right, and so you make sure to hit on all the important points of why you are breaking up with them. This isn't the time to complain about the terrible birthday present they got you or the lack there of, stay on point.
4 Don't break up at the spur of the moment. For example, breaking up when you are in an argument. You will only end up saying a lot of things that you will later regret. Instead, take yourself out of the argument and proceed with the break up when thing calm down.
5 Make sure that you really want to break up or if you just want to take a step back in the relationship. Don't confuse your partner by breaking up and then calling a few days later to say that you want to try again.

There is never a perfect time for a break up, but sometimes are better then others.
1 Don't break up close to a holiday or right before your partner has some important event going on in their life.
2 Don't break up if you have just asked your partner for a big favor. If you are planing on breaking up, find someone else to borrow money from.
3 Even though you want to be sensitive about the timing of the break up, don't keep putting it off either. Your partner will know that something is wrong and putting of the inevitable will only cause them more pain, decide when you will break up with them and stick to it.

Location is very important when you are breaking up with someone, you want this to go as smoothly as possible.
1 You should break up with your partner face to face. You cannot get away with a text message, phone call, or an email.
2 You should pick a spot where your partner will feel comfortable. If they are more composed and less likely to fly off the handle in public, pick a spot where there will be people nearby, like the park or a coffee shop. If on the other hand they can melt down no matter where they are or who is around, you probably will want to pick a place more private.
Stay calm and rational. Since you are the one doing the breaking up, you have to take responsibility to set the tone for the discussion.
1 Tell your partner why the relationship is not working for you. Use "I feel" statements. When you say, "I feel like we are not compatible" instead of saying " I think you are crazy and you get on my nerves" the conversation will be less about placing blame on each other and you both should be able to stay in control of yourselves.
2 If your partner starts throwing accusatory statements at you, don't respond to them. Tell them that you understand that they are upset and then ask them to be civilized about it.
3 If you can't stop the conversation from turning into an argument, make sure you know the right way to argue. Don't insult, accuse or end up in a screaming match. Listen to what your partner has to say and acknowledge their feelings in your responses. Make sure you stand your ground, but try to be as kind as possible about it.
5 Break ups are usually emotional and one or, both of you may end up shedding a few tears, but don't hang around for very long trying to comfort your ex. If you do, it could lead to hugging, kissing and making up, so leave before those old feelings make a come back.

Some exes can end up being each others best friends, and some exes never speak to each other again. Decide what is right for you and your ex.
1 Do not have any contact with your ex for at least 8 weeks after you break up with them.
2 Decide if just being friends is possible for you and your ex. If you decide to be friends, there can be no hooking up. If you are the one who broke things of you have to understand that your ex may still have some feelings for you.
3 If you do decide to be friends, don't hang out more than once or twice a week .
4 When you do start dating someone new, don't tell your ex all the details or ask for their advice. You don't have to hide the new relationship, but you don't have to throw it in your exes face either.

Just because you are the one who did the breaking up does not mean that you won't have a difficult time getting over your ex. You may feel depressed, if you do, make an effort to spend time with your friend. Do not constantly talk about your ex. Get them out of your head by showing interest in your friends lives. Avoid reminders of the relationship as much as possible. If you dwell on the past, that is were you will stay. Consider getting counseling if needed. Take up a new hobby to fill your free time. Do something positive for yourself, it will not only distract you, but it will make you a happier and more fulfilled person.

After you have ended a relationship, it is a good idea to look back on the relationship and determine where it went wrong. Use what you learn in your next relationship. Make sure you don't jump into your next relationship to quickly. You may be an expert on breaking up now, but it is probably not something that you want to make a habit out of.

I wrote this article last week. I hope it helps.
Source(s):
I wrote this article for AC

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If you loved them, why are you breaking up with them? How are breakup techniques different when you've "loved" someone as opposed to when you didn't?

It seems that in either case, the best approach is to explain sincerely why you're breaking up with them. I guess saying that someone you've loved implies that you will be more gentle in breaking the news. But in either case, the best approach is the simple truth of your feelings.
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There is probably no best way, only the least painful way. I think that is why people say things like, "It's not you, it's me," or, "I just think that we should be friends."
I suppose that the most honest thing is to say, "I'm sorry, I still like you, but I don't love you any longer, and I need to search for someone that I can love."
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