Bunkarific

Back Street Boys, Nsync, Milli Vanilli, Vanilla Ice, Spice Girls, PM Dawn and special appearance by Kriss Kross.
Source(s):
Annals of Wackness
Horrible childhood memories

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The main event would be an all-star jam with members of Matchbox 20, Nickelback and Creed playing their greatest hits.

The supporting cast would include ABBA, Limp Bizkit, Evanescence, James Blunt, and Blue October.

Activities would include bobbing for pineapples, the urine slip-n-slide, and the amateur acupuncture booth.
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Ok, to open:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Amja1Sq0cl4

Followed by:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=IgzsZbxBh8g

and

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=nuUsNtNBOCo

Then we could have a few hours of these guys:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=M0Y_kOofjVo

And, if anyone was still there, these folks.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=K1kjkUAA9VM

And then, for the folks stuck there running the sound equipment:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=CMnRaV8UmCY

and just in case there is ANYONE at all left in the venue, this should clear them out. Particularly if it's clear that they'll act as drivers for anyone left.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1tqxzWdKKu8

On the second stage, I present a selection of elementary school garage bands, choirs from churches where the whole church IS the choir, and medieval plainsong and madrigals.

Wonder how many tickets I'd sell...
Source(s):
Had fun with this one, but was unable to find many videos of bad choirs where names and/or faces weren't clear.

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Oh boy! Have heard about CRAPFEST?!?!? It's got some of the biggest names in music spread over two days! Woo!

Day 1 (country & western day: Please wear your boots and all your American flag clothing and accessories):
*Garth Brooks (kind of a has-been, but come on still a legend)
*Travis Tritt (seriously, this guy rocks)
*Carrie Underwood (pretty girl, even prettier voice)
*Lee Greenwood (headlining of course. OMG I'm starting to tear up already)
http://blog.pennlive.com/pennsyltucky/2008/01/Leegreenwood.jpg

Day 2 (Canada Day: Please take off your hats, put away your American flags, and put on a very long dress):
Alanis Morrissette (she touches my soul)
Celine Dion (she touches something even deeper than my soul. just. wow.)
http://images.askmen.com/galleries/singer/celine-dion/pictures/celine-dion-picture-1.jpg
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T.V.Palooza - A festival where all bands come from t.v. shows. Before the live acts, there will be a 24 hour marathon of The Monkees and The Sonny & Cher Show!!!

There will also be a kissing booth set up to raise money for the prevention of child porn. Manning the both will be Marcia Brady, Laurie Partridge, & Pinky Tuscadero.

Open the show with Drake Bell or The Naked Brothers band to pull in the youngsters before their bed time. Then move on to some really rocking stuff:

'Phish Tahko' from My Name is Earl
'Dingoes Ate My Baby' from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
'Zack Attack' from Saved by the Bell
'The Brady Six, AKA The Silver Platters' from The Brady Bunch

And headlining will have to be:
Danny Bonaduce & the Partridge Family!
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