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Should I show my girlfriend this one part of my story or should I change it?
The way I see it, some stories have to have sex appeal! That being said, let me describe this quickly. I am writing this short novel where my girlfriend and I are fighting dragons in a futuristic war zone.
While I made her character extremely tough, there is one part of the story that may slightly embarass her. I only added it to show a helpless, weaker side to such a strong character! Sometimes even the toughest heroes have to undergo humiliation. And it's only for 2 chapters.
Anyway, she has a lot of cool fighting scenes, but during one of her battles, she gets captured by a dragon, and taken back to the dragon's lair. The dragon dresses her in a sexy, yellow "feather" string bikini and locks her in a birdcage. The feathers sort of make her resemble a canary.
Anyway, MY character undergoes a lot of pain and hardships as well, I thought I'd point out!
But back to her: though she deals with the humiliation of being a bikini-clad caged girl, she stands up to the dragon and never gives into him.
My character eventually comes and frees her from the birdcage, and we defeat that dragon and go back to our adventures.
Since there is that ONE part in the story, I am a little embarassed to let her read it, however, since her character is tough too, she may not be offended. Should I let her read it or change the scene all together?
While I made her character extremely tough, there is one part of the story that may slightly embarass her. I only added it to show a helpless, weaker side to such a strong character! Sometimes even the toughest heroes have to undergo humiliation. And it's only for 2 chapters.
Anyway, she has a lot of cool fighting scenes, but during one of her battles, she gets captured by a dragon, and taken back to the dragon's lair. The dragon dresses her in a sexy, yellow "feather" string bikini and locks her in a birdcage. The feathers sort of make her resemble a canary.
Anyway, MY character undergoes a lot of pain and hardships as well, I thought I'd point out!
But back to her: though she deals with the humiliation of being a bikini-clad caged girl, she stands up to the dragon and never gives into him.
My character eventually comes and frees her from the birdcage, and we defeat that dragon and go back to our adventures.
Since there is that ONE part in the story, I am a little embarassed to let her read it, however, since her character is tough too, she may not be offended. Should I let her read it or change the scene all together?
voted interesting: notshocked22, stacy90802
answers (5)
What are you afraid of? Having a ficitonal dragon dress up your girlfriend in a sexy way and her feeling embarrassed about it or being embarrassed yourself for getting her into a 'sexy' situation that might reveal the way you think about her?
If you can't be proud of what you've written, it's due to the story itself or to you not being sure of what the world could think about you. If you are afraid of showing your imagination or your inner emotions, every word you write will be a new risk. Try to get over this and be more comfortable about letting your fantasy inspire you to write whatever you want. Even if you still think what you've written is silly or embarrassing or hard to tolerate, you will see that it helps you to become an even better writer and a more self-confident person.
As an author, one day or another you might come across topics such as sex appeal, sex, violance or other topics that might be hard to tolerate, humilitating or that have a private reference. Topics you could be ashamed of, your friends can't understand or that could make people criticise you. For example, showing violance or describing a very bloody and horrorful situation in a novel could make your friends show disgust or call you a pervert. That is what you think because noone of them has ever before read such a scene written by you. People actually like books by Stephen King and a lot of people read books that describe persons wearing a sexy outfit. It's alright, that's the good thing about fantasy and fiction: It's not real but it can add an interesting touch.
Don't let people tell you what to write or what not to write. Write what you want, whatever it is. Try to be proud of what you've written or at least take it as the next step to becoming a better author. The idea of the sexy outfit is fine for you, so don't be ashamed of it, show it to somebody else you trust and find out what they think - they may encourage you to take the risk and make your girlfriend read it. If you don't give it a try, you'll never be able to write something that may be a little bit different from an ordinary situation, even if it's exactly that what you want to achieve in a (fiction) novel !
If you can't be proud of what you've written, it's due to the story itself or to you not being sure of what the world could think about you. If you are afraid of showing your imagination or your inner emotions, every word you write will be a new risk. Try to get over this and be more comfortable about letting your fantasy inspire you to write whatever you want. Even if you still think what you've written is silly or embarrassing or hard to tolerate, you will see that it helps you to become an even better writer and a more self-confident person.
As an author, one day or another you might come across topics such as sex appeal, sex, violance or other topics that might be hard to tolerate, humilitating or that have a private reference. Topics you could be ashamed of, your friends can't understand or that could make people criticise you. For example, showing violance or describing a very bloody and horrorful situation in a novel could make your friends show disgust or call you a pervert. That is what you think because noone of them has ever before read such a scene written by you. People actually like books by Stephen King and a lot of people read books that describe persons wearing a sexy outfit. It's alright, that's the good thing about fantasy and fiction: It's not real but it can add an interesting touch.
Don't let people tell you what to write or what not to write. Write what you want, whatever it is. Try to be proud of what you've written or at least take it as the next step to becoming a better author. The idea of the sexy outfit is fine for you, so don't be ashamed of it, show it to somebody else you trust and find out what they think - they may encourage you to take the risk and make your girlfriend read it. If you don't give it a try, you'll never be able to write something that may be a little bit different from an ordinary situation, even if it's exactly that what you want to achieve in a (fiction) novel !
Don't change it. It represents something to you. (Maybe how you want to be her hero and salvation.) Wait until the story is completed to show her.
A story is often an extension of yourself. If you are worried about how she will respond, make her read it in your presence. She may, or may not have any of the expected reactions. Since it isn't real, she might be flattered that you find her attractive in a bikini.
No matter how she re-acts, remember how you feel about her. Be gracious if she reacts negatively.
A story is often an extension of yourself. If you are worried about how she will respond, make her read it in your presence. She may, or may not have any of the expected reactions. Since it isn't real, she might be flattered that you find her attractive in a bikini.
No matter how she re-acts, remember how you feel about her. Be gracious if she reacts negatively.
When I read the title to your question, before I read the body of it, I was imagining you were writing a reality-type of fiction novel and were revealing either something true she wouldn't want out there; that your were casting her in a bad light; or that you would reveal feeling about her, for good or bad, that she didn't know you had.
Given that you're writing fantasy, though, and the character is far removed from everyday life, I think you'll be fine. Bad things happen to good people. And good warrior princesses. And if the characters in an adventure never are in real danger, it's boring--like reading those Christmas letters where everyone does all kinds of amazing things and nothing bad ever happens.
Go ahead and show her. It's no slam on her character to loose once in awhile!
Given that you're writing fantasy, though, and the character is far removed from everyday life, I think you'll be fine. Bad things happen to good people. And good warrior princesses. And if the characters in an adventure never are in real danger, it's boring--like reading those Christmas letters where everyone does all kinds of amazing things and nothing bad ever happens.
Go ahead and show her. It's no slam on her character to loose once in awhile!
voted helpful: notshocked22
IF and only if she considers loss of control a character flaw, I'd go for it.
However, if she is the type to think you are putting fictionional situations as a way to characterize her flaws....don't.
This really comes down to her self esteem and perception of your thoughts about her and your relationship.
However, if she is the type to think you are putting fictionional situations as a way to characterize her flaws....don't.
This really comes down to her self esteem and perception of your thoughts about her and your relationship.
My advice: rewrite the chapter. The whole bikini-clad girl captive thing is way too derivative of Star Wars, Princess Leia and Jabba-the-Hut. The whole bikini-clad prisoner thing is just not original enough anymore. (Not to mention plausibility problems: The dragon has a set of apparel, including string bikini, in your girlfriend's size, just for an occasion like this? No dragon I've dealt with *ever* had human clothing to divvy out to prisoners. Puh-leese!)
Next: rethink your novel. What will happen when you break up with your gf? Maybe you shouldn't tell your friends that they are in your novel, or that characters in your novel are based on them. It seems that you are limiting your artistic freedom by doing that. Isn't one of the points of writing a novel, to escape reality?
Next: rethink your novel. What will happen when you break up with your gf? Maybe you shouldn't tell your friends that they are in your novel, or that characters in your novel are based on them. It seems that you are limiting your artistic freedom by doing that. Isn't one of the points of writing a novel, to escape reality?
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