Zoolander Quotes

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*DISCLAIMER: This movie is rated PG-13. Therefore, many of the quotes on this page are also PG-13 and should be considered NSFW.

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- Source: IMDb - Zoolander Memorable quotes
Derek Zoolander: Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?
Mugatu: Derek, this is just a small...
Derek Zoolander: I don't wanna hear your excuses! The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this!

Derek Zoolander: What? Are you here to tell me what a bad eugoogoolizer I am?
Matilda: A what?
Derek Zoolander: A eugoogoolizer... you know one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?

Hansel: So I'm repelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy s#%t, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?"
Derek Zoolander: And?
Hansel: And it was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius.

Maury Ballstein: I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.

Hansel: I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.

Larry Zoolander: I just thank the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid.
Derek Zoolander: Mer-man!

Matilda: Derek that was unbelievable!
Derek Zoolander: I know! I turned left!
Matilda: Yeah, that too, but Derek, you saved the prime minister of Malaysia!
Derek Zoolander: Oh, right, cool.

Derek Zoolander: At the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than being really, really good looking.

Derek Zoolander: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman."