Worst Prom Themes

Don't Tase Me, Prom

  • Submitted By: Brianh | Submitted By: Travis
    • Chaperone John Kerry will lead the first dance, so we ask that you show your respect for the Senator. Any inflammatory remarks, drinking, drug use, or generally bad behavior will be punished with a high-voltage electric shock. Don't make us call Officer Rivieri.
    • Anyone dancing 5 inches or closer to their partner will be given a single verbal warning before the cattle prod comes out. All the ladies will be required to have tasers attached to their corsages to make sure nobody gets "fresh" after the party. And the most requested song of the night? Naturally, MC Hammer's 'Can't Tase This'

Lolpr0m

  • Submitted By: Mike
  • Photoshop Submitted By: Mike
    Photoshop Submitted By: Mike
    • O HAI, IZ SPRIN AGAIN AN U KNOE WUT DAT MEANZ. U CAN HAS PRICELES MEMORIEZ. THAZ RITE, DIS YEERS PROM IZ FAST APPROACHIN AN U BETTR BE PREPARD. MAK PLANZ 2 BUY UR DRESEZ, RENT LONG KAR, AN MOST IMPORTANT FIND DATE.
    • ANY SENIOR HOO WUD LIEK 2 STAY AFTR SKOOL 2 START WERKIN ON PROM DECORASHUNS SHUD C MRS. SCOTT IN DA MEDIA SENTR BOUT DATEZ AN TIEMS

Optimus Prom

    • There may be a semi parked out front, but this event is more than meets the eye. Don't be intimidated by the Porches and Lamborghinis, it doesn't matter how you get to the Ark, so long as you've come ready to party. The Energon will flow like wine all night, and with Beat Box Master Soundwave spinning classics like Stan Bush's The Touch, Optimus Prom is sure to be a night to light our darkest hour.

Prom 9 From Outer Space

  • Submitted By: Lon
    • "You seniors with your Stupid Proms! Stupid! Stupid!"
    • Ed Wood's classic sci-fi romp comes to your high school, complete with sexually-ambiguous alien photographers and creepy faculty members hiding their faces behind capes. The best part about Prom 9 is how little preparation you'll need - a few upside-down disposable plates hung from the ceiling, some stock footage to project on the walls, maybe a fake rubber octopus or two and you're ready to go!
    • And remember, we are all interested in graduating high school...because that is where you and I will spend the rest of our lives. Future events such as these will affect you in the future.

Proms Over Baghdad

    • What better way to honor our troops and their sacrifice than to set this year's Prom in the heart of the Green Zone? Ladies, you'll probably be surprised at how protective body armor can flatter the waistline. And fellas, nothing will help to ensure a little post-prom romance quite like the imminent threat of some I.E.D.'s on the ride home. ("Baby, we might die tonight...Sadr's cease-fire is going expire, like, at any time. Don't cut and run.")
    • According to John McCain, plenty of Baghdad's local markets are open and ready for business, so you should have no trouble tracking down last-minute boutonniers, corsages or limo services.

Promic-Con

    • Location: The Batcave
    • This year, there's only one formal event where She-Hulk and Freddy Krueger make a cute couple. Where Klingons congregate in the corner, avoiding the dance floor like a class five wormhole. That's right, Promic-Con!
    • What could be more exciting than four days, and four nights of awkward conversation, outlandish outfits, and even more awkward dancing (Sorry Batman)? Don't bother purchasing any corsages and boutonnieres, Poison Ivy has offered to supply all floral arrangements. For insurances purposes, all Saiyans and Blood Elves are limited to level 3. The Promic-con committee would also like to remind partygoers that there are no drugs or alcohol permitted inside of the cave. Our host does not want a repeat of last year (see video).

Scienpromogy

  • Submitted By: Brianh
    • Leave your Prozac at home and don't forget your copy of Dianetics for this night that promises to be off the E-Meter! Prom king Tom Cruise will save you from your horrible prom date, because only he can. Beck will be providing the soundtrack to this heavenly night. (Though likely, it'll still be like a middle school formal, with all the OT V's on one side of the room and the OT VI's on the other.)
    • The cost of a ticket is a bargain $10,000 per couple. And don't mind those Anonymous guys blasting that annoying Rick Astley song outside.

A Spitzer Affair

  • Submitted By: Brianh | Submitted By: Travis
    • Best part of this dance? All the girls say yes!

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Tay Promday

  • Submitted By: Evan
    • As if a Tay Zonday-themed prom wasn't already awful enough, it also inspired one of the worst puns ever committed to Internet ink in the title of this entry (and coming from me, that's really saying something). But picture the glory that would be the prom dedicated to the immortal composer of "Chocolate Rain;" the glory that is Tay Promday.
    • The decorations for this prom are what first come to mind; as far as the eye can see would be nothing but rich shades of brown and, uh... beige, maybe? Perhaps some chocolate syrup strategically splattered across the walls would be in order, and strands of brown tinsel shimmering as they drip from cocoa rain clouds on the ceiling.
    • But that's just the beginning of Tay Promday. The musical playlist has practically written itself for this event, from Zonday's karaoke hits to his priceless original compositions, including "Internet Dream" and the aforementioned "Chocolate Rain" itself. In fact, "Chocolate Rain" is pretty standard fare as far as hits on the dance floor go these days: mindlessly repetitive rhythmic and harmonic figures that play unchangingly over its agonizingly long run time (it feels long, anyway), topped off with a melody that would make Eiffel 65 blush. As far as the lyrics go, with such poetry as "Build a tent and say the world is dry/Zoom the camera out and see the lie" I think the song is actually trying to say something, I'm just afraid to ask what. Just like any ideal prom theme!
    • Zonday even has the dance moves covered, when you think about it. Just think of the new craze that will take the world by storm when the "move away from the mic to breathe" move is fully realized on the dance floor! And for refreshments? Why, Cherry Chocolate Dr. Pepper, of course! After careful consideration, Tay Promday might not be such a bad thing... Well, as long as you let the man himself MC the festivities. Some will stay dry, but most will feel the pain.

Teen Mom Prom

  • Submitted By: V
    • Didn't you all see Juno? Pregnant is the new pink! There's no need to hide the fact that you're expecting at a Teen Mom Prom, when everyone shows up looking preggers!
    • Take your prom photo and get your ultrasound done at the same time! What could make for a better memory than that? You're only 17 and knocked up once, so grab your favorite Baby Daddy and start shopping for that glamorous maternity gown. Just remember: if you thought people silently judged you before, just try showing up to the Teen Mom Prom without a date!
  • YouTube: Theme from Juno: Anyone Else But You (Time: 1:59)

There Will Be Prom

    • Ladies and gentlemen, I have traveled across half our state to be here at your prom this evening. I had some outstanding PE credits that I had to see to at Coyote Hills High. When I tell you that I am your Prom King, you will know that it is true.
    • I am a family man and I will be a family Prom King. This is my date and partner, H.W. I can guarantee you that I will begin dancing by no later than the tenth song. No other Prom King and Queen can make you that promise.
    • Let's say, you have a prom date, and I have a prom date, and my arm reaches across the gym, and it starts to dance with your prom date. I dance with your prom date! We dance all night!

Tron Prom

  • Submitted By: Travis
    • Put on your circuitry suit, get in your Light Cycle and head on over to ENCOM Gold Leader where the Class of 1982 will be celebrating it's Senior Prom in cutting edge, futuristic style. DJ Sark will be laying down the law with his fresh computer inspired "electronic" music for you to enjoy while you dance and enjoy games of Jai alai and Frisbee. Remember no drugs or alcohol or the MCPrincipal will "Reco" you and your date out. END OF LINE.

2001: A Night in Space

  • Submitted By: Jonathan h
    • I'm sorry, Mahalo. I cannot write about the fallacies of a "Space Odyssey" themed prom. It would be, to use your human vernacular, totally awesome. An unsuccessful Space Odyssey prom can only be attributed to human error.
    • The evening begins with a pleasant meal of mashed peas and soylent green. You will then be transported by spaceplane to a docking station at Clavius. You may not contact your parents or other family members after docking at Clavius.
    • Once arriving at the prom, I can sing you a song. Perhaps you'd like to hear it? "Daisy, daisy, give me your answer do..." What are you doing? I'm trying to help you enjoy your final high school hurrah. Stop....stop....my mind is going.....I'm afraid.......I'm afraid.......

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