Wedding Crashers Quotes

DISCLAIMER: This movie is rated R. Therefore, many of the quotes on this page are also R and should be considered NSFW.

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- Source: IMDb - Wedding Crashers Memorable quotes
Jeremy Grey: Mr. Environnmental is also a hunter. That's kind of an interesting combination.
Sack Lodge: I hunt quail, Jeremy. They're overpopulated in this region and they're decimating the grubworm population. You got a f#%king problem with that?
Jeremy Grey: Not nearly as much as I do with the, uh, attire you have on or just your general point of view toward everybody, but let's go kill some birds. I'm psyched.

Jeremy Grey: Have you ever shot one of these things before?
John Beckwith: The whole 17 years we've known each other I've been sneaking off to go on little hunting trips around the world. No, I don't even know what the f#%k a quail is!

Jeremy Grey: How many times you gonna do this bulls#%t? Rule #32: never commit to a relative unless you're absolutely positive they have a pulse.
John Beckwith: Rule #16: give me an up-to-date family tree, that was your mistake, you just made me look like an idiot.
Jeremy Grey: Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!

John Beckwith: No, don't waste your time on girls with hats. They tend to be very proper.
Jeremy Grey: Yeah, well the proper girl in the hat just eye f#%ked the s#%t out of me.

Jeremy Grey: We are gonna have tons and tons of opportunities to meet gorgeous ladies that get so aroused at the thought of marriage that they'll throw their inhibitions to the wind.

Jeremy Grey: Listen, I'm getting married.
John Beckwith: Get out.
Jeremy Grey: What? You just sat there and said you were happy for me that I'm...
John Beckwith: I'm hanging by a thread. I'm reading "Don't Kill Myself" books.

John Beckwith: Ok, meet me at the back of the room. I'll be the guy waiting to say I told you so.

Kid: I want a bicycle.
Jeremy Grey: Listen, a bicycle is going to take a lot of balloons and frankly, uncle Jeremy is a bit tired. How about I make you something else?
Kid: I just want a bicycle!
Jeremy Grey: Why... why are you yelling at me?
Kid: Make me a bicycle, clown!
Jeremy Grey: All right, I'm going to make you a bicycle. But I don't want to make you a bicycle.
Kid: Shut your mouth, funny guy, and make it.
Jeremy Grey: Take that, you hyena, don't say thank you.