Stewie Griffin Quotes

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Stewie Griffin Top Quotes

Family Guy Quotes: Stewie Griffin Quotes
- Stewie: "How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off."

- Meg (about Peter being retarded): "I can never go to school again!"
- Stewie: "Oh, yes, Meg, yes-yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until this. Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation, not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses, no no no, it's THIS. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight."

- Stewie: "It wasn't even about the eggs, really. Frankly, I like the yolks. I have no problem. There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore. I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult. And then I think to myself, 'My God wouldn't it be marvelous if i turned out to be a homosexual?'"

- Stewie: "Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over."

About: Family Guy Quotes - Stewie Griffin
- Stewie: "Damn you vile woman, you've impeded my work since the day I escaped your vile womb."

- Stewie: [After Lois tries to feed Stewie his broccoli "airplane style"] "Damn you, Damn the Broccoli, and Damn the Wright Brothers."

- Stewie: "Did you forge my name? How dare you! Is this backwards "S" supposed to be cute? I'm going to crap double for you tonight."

IMDb: Family Guy - Memorable quotes
- Stewie Griffin: [to ticket agent] "Now listen to me... [looks at agent's name tag] Jo-LENE. I've got an army to raise and I must get to Nicaragua. I require a window seat and an in-flight Happy Meal AND NO PICKLES. OH, GOD HELP YOU IF I FIND PICKLES."

- Stewie Griffin: "Hey, Brian, remember me? I'm the guy you left standing at the counter at McDonald's with a bag full of burgers. You know it's funny, I tried to walk home and, um, a lot of hungry deer walking around at this hour of the night and, um, oh here's where the story gets fun, uh, you may have noticed I'm missing an ear. Managed to, uh, pull it out of the deer's mouth and put it in some ice I got at a 7-Eleven. So when you are ready to apologize, just talk into this cup."

- Stewie Griffin: [talking to a prostitute] "So is there any tread left on the tires or at this point would it be more like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?"

- Stewie Griffin: "Oh, let me guess. Another box with a crank that I turn and turn and turn until... whoo... a clown pops out. Then you laugh, the kids laugh, the dog laughs, and I die a little more inside."

- Stewie Griffin: [plucks a banjo] "Oh! I feel so delightfully white trash! Mummy, I want a mullet!"