South Park Eek A Penis


South Park "Eek A Penis" Episode Summary

  • At South Park Elementary School, Ms. Garrison cries in front of her class and discusses Thomas Beatie, the pregnant man who appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show. She is crying while she talks about her sex change operation and how much of a mistake it was. The doctors said that she can't go back to being a man because she would have to find a penis.
  • Principal Victoria and Mr. Mackey catch Ms. Garrison tearing apart the classroom and they tell Garrison not to teach anymore until he has his personal life straightened out. Principal Victoria asks one of the students to be teacher for the day. Nobody else but Cartman volunteers, and Victoria reluctantly agrees.
  • Kyle immediately antagonizes Cartman, and Cartman asks that everyone call him Mr. Cartman and he threatens to whip the students.
  • At her house, Ms. Garrison is crying on the couch when she sees a news story on the television about genetically engineered body parts. Garrison goes to the laboratory and asks for a penis. The doctor says it is experimental and expensive, though he agrees.
  • Principal Victoria commends Eric Cartman as his students' test scores have skyrocketed. Members of the Denver County School Board arrive and ask Cartman to teach at one of their inner-city schools. Cartman agrees to take the job for the price of $300. Kyle tells Cartman that he is just a "middle-class white boy" and that the students will murder him.
  • Cartman arrives at the school, which is full of metal detectors and loud teenagers. Eric arrives as Mr. Cartmenez. He has a comb-over after shaving the top part of his head and wears sunglasses. He says he will teach them "Calculez."
  • Garrison goes to the doctor's office and sees his penis growing on the back of a rat. He wants to touch it, but the rat and penis escape and run out into the street.
  • At the inner-city school, Cartman speaks in an insulting faux-Latino accent. The kids say they have no chance at getting into college. Cartman says that they must cheat in order to get into college. He shows them a picture of Bill Belichick to prove that cheating in America is okay.
  • Garrison finds Stan and the other boys playing in a sandbox and asks them if they've seen his penis. Butters says "that hurt my brains."
  • Cartmenez finds a student who walked out of his class at a basketball court. Cartman challenges him to a game of one-on-one. With the ball, he hits the student in the leg and gets the ball in the hoop. When he is on defense, Cartman whips the ball out of his hands, knocking the student to the ground, and scores again. The student walks away in disgust.
  • At Butters' home, his mother shrieks in horror as she sees a penis lose in the kitchen. She tells her husband, who says that women are always afraid of penises. Butter recognizes it as Mr. Garrison's penis.
  • At class the next day, Cartmenez discusses how Bill Belichick videotaped the opposing team's defense to win. He tells them to cheat regularly, and if they get caught, to say that they misinterpreted the rules. "Now you sound like white people," he says.
  • Butters' family tells Ms. Garrison that they let his penis outside and Garrison is afraid that it could now be anywhere. Garrison chases the penis around town.
  • At the inner city school, Cartman is reading answers aloud to the students. He follows a crying student, Marita, into the hallway, who says there is no point in studying because she is pregnant. Cartman tells her that they will go get an abortion. He calls abortion the ultimate form of cheating.
  • Garrison goes to the police department to report a missing penis. After hearing the description, the police sketch artist draws a picture of Mickey Mouse with a large erection. As Garrison is dismissing the drawing, a call comes through about a spotting of the penis. They all run out of the office.
  • At a fancy restaurant, women everywhere spot the rat/penis and jump up on their tables to avoid it. A chef in the kitchen almost bashes the penis with a rolling pin. In the back of the restaurant, the rat/penis sings a parody of "Somewhere Out There" from An American Tail. As both the rat and penis are singing, Garrison spots it and gives chase. The penis jumps down the sewer and the police tell Garrison to try to appreciate being a woman.
  • Cartmenez' class has done so well that they are administering a special test and it is taking place in a monitored room so that there is absolutely no cheating. The class begins to freak out and Cartmenez says that if they are good enough cheaters, nobody will notice. He tells the students about how Bill Belichick told his team to try and play for real right before the Super Bowl, and that they lost.
  • Ms. Garrison lays on her back on a park bench and cries. The rat/penis climbs up on the bench and sits there for Garrison to pick up in his/her hands.
  • After the test, a special ceremony is held where the principal announces that all 24 students scored 100%. A special plaque is presented to Cartmenez. Back at South Park Elementary School, Principal Victoria welcomes back Mr. Garrison who apparently had a successful operation. He says he's learned that he's really been a man all along, as he never would have been able to have a child in his female state.
  • The assertion of the episode seems to be that Thomas Beatie is not really a "pregnant man" and that sexual reassignment surgery only changes one's appearance, not what one really is. This echoes the theme of an earlier South Park episode, "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina".

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