How to Survive a Zombie Attack

Guide Note

Let's face it. With the constant advances in science and technology, waking up one day to discover three-quarters of your local population have been slaughtered and recruited by the walking dead doesn't seem as far-fetched as it used to. The possibility of a zombie attack seems more likely than ever. When that fateful day arrives you will want to make sure you're prepared to not only defend yourself against them, but to survive.

Table of Contents

Tips for Surviving Zombies

  1. Be prepared.
  2. Know the route to the nearest superstore, school or shopping mall.
  3. Learn how to use a firearm.
  4. Know your enemy.
  5. Run, run, run!
  6. Find a place to hide.
  7. Connect with other survivors.
  8. Take out anyone who has been bitten before they turn.
  9. Defend yourself to the best of your ability.

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Introduction

  • Zombies are the stuff nightmares are made of. These half-rotten bodies rise from the grave craving flesh, and drag their mangled corpses toward the living with one word on their worm-chewed lips, "Brains." Since your brain is what separates you from the walking dead, keeping it intact is one of the most critical parts to surviving a zombie attack. You know what happens if they get you; you become one of them. Nobody wants that.
  • Surviving a zombie attack isn't going to be easy, but with a cool head, the right tools and a good plan, you can tilt the odds in your favor.

Step 1: Preparing for the Inevitable

  • Your friends and family will probably laugh at you when they find out you're preparing a plan to face the living dead, but Benjamin Franklin once said, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."1 Applying Franklin's advice to the possibility of a zombie outbreak will not only set you well on your way to survival, but you'll also have a chance to play the hero when your unprepared friends and family come running.
  • Here's how you can make sure you're ready in the event of an outbreak:
  1. Study as much as you can about zombie outbreaks so you are able to recognize one as early as possible.2
    Don't worry if you can't find a prepackaged zombie survival kit. The components are relatively easy to find. (Creative Commons photo by Dyl86)
    Don't worry if you can't find a prepackaged zombie survival kit. The components are relatively easy to find. (Creative Commons photo by Dyl86)
  2. Familiarize yourself with all of the local retailers that carry guns and ammo.3
  3. Map the quickest routes to the largest nearby retail centers like a grocery store, shopping mall or superstore.4
    • Un-infested shopping malls and superstores like Wal Mart or Target have potential for long-term survival for small groups of the living.
  4. Since Zombies are easily destroyed by fire, keep an extra can of gasoline on hand.5
  5. Scope out local shelters and know their entrances.3
  6. Get yourself a firearm and learn how to use it.5
    • Remember the only way to stop a zombie target with a firearm is with a bullet to the brain, so practice, practice, practice!3
  7. If possible, stockpile ammunition because you're going to need a lot of it.6
  8. Put together a zombie attack care-kit that includes things like batteries, flashlights, canned goods, an emergency radio and first aid kit.7
  • Keep in mind that it's probably better if you don't mention to too many other people that you're preparing for a zombie outbreak. The last place you want to be during a zombie attack is locked up in a hospital mental facility. People infected with early strains of the zombie virus, Solanum, will flock to hospitals to find out what's wrong, and you'll wind up trapped in the eventual war zone.8

Step 2: Know Your Enemy

  • No matter what kind of attack you face it is an essential battle strategy to know your enemy as well as you know yourself. As the living dead, zombies are a unique enemy. People often make the mistake of not taking them seriously because of their physical appearance and limitations. Familiarize yourself with the different types of zombies. Recognition will make it easier to assess the threat so you are able to properly defend yourself.

The Types of Zombies

  1. Haitian Voodoo Zombies: These animated corpses are the most harmless type of zombies, since they don't generally try to eat the living. Controlled by a voodoo master, they may try to kill you if that is what their master wants.5
  2. The Philosophical Zombie: These are every day people who have no sense of self or existence. They simply go through the motions of living and stop there.9 This breed many not want to eat your brains, but their thoughtlessness alone could be fatal.
  3. Hollywood Zombie: Your most typical form of zombie, they move slowly and love to feast on brains.9
  4. New School Hollywood Zombie: Unlike their predecessors, the new school Hollywood breed of zombie move quickly and climb buildings almost as well as Spider-Man.4

Zombie Appearance and Hygiene

  • The fact that he appears to be operating a telephone is a major clue that this man is not, in fact, a zombie. (Creative Commons photo by Pete)
    The fact that he appears to be operating a telephone is a major clue that this man is not, in fact, a zombie. (Creative Commons photo by Pete)
    With the number of philosophical zombies out in the world, determining a zombie threat might prove somewhat difficult.9 Here are a few warning signs that should make it easier to distinguish a zombie threat:
  1. Disheveled personal appearance:10
    1. Torn or severely wrinkled clothing.
    2. Muddy clothing.
    3. Unkempt hair.
    4. Dirty fingernails.
  2. They may not respond when you try to communicate. 10
  3. If they smell dead, chances are they probably were once.
  4. Skin may appear clammy or even decomposed.10
  5. They will often linger around cemeteries, especially those that have recently risen from the dead.11
  6. Staggering movement, much like someone trying to walk after both of their legs has fallen asleep.11

Zombie Capabilities

  • Since you're going to be battling and evading zombies, it's best if you know what to expect from them physically:
  1. Most zombies will only be able to do things they were physically capable of before they became zombies, so you can rule out flying, mind-melding, telepathy and other extreme capabilities.8
  2. The majority of zombies can't run.4
  3. Some of the new school Hollywood zombies are capable of moving with incredible speed.4
  4. Night vision is a likely possibility, considering how easily many zombies get around in the dark.8
  5. They tend to have impeccable hearing.8
  6. Their heightened sense of smell will guide them toward fresh prey every time.8
  7. There is no evidence on whether their taste is altered, but they do prefer human flesh over the flesh of other animals.8

Step 3: Fighting Zombies

  • There may come a time when you will have no choice but to stand up and face the enemy. Here are some important things to keep in mind while fighting zombies:
Look to ordinary or enhanced blunt objects for reliable, up-close zombie smashing. (Creative Commons photo by Torley)
Look to ordinary or enhanced blunt objects for reliable, up-close zombie smashing. (Creative Commons photo by Torley)
  1. Never physically wrestle a zombie. You will only wind up getting bit.4
  2. Anything you can lift, throw or swing is a potential weapon.
  3. If you only have a blunt object, like a pipe or crowbar, aim for the head and smash.3
  4. Small objects, like butter knives, forks or even pens, can be lodged into an eye socket at close range.2
  5. Decapitation is an option if you are able to get close enough with a sword or chainsaw.3
  6. When defending your hide out, put together an arsenal of homemade explosives from the stock of cleaning supplies.12
  7. Guns put distance between you and the enemy, minimizing your chances of being bitten.2
  8. Because fire is also a great weapon, use it to your advantage whenever possible.5
  9. Do everything you can to notify Armed Forces.12
  10. If all else fails, and you find yourself weaponless among a horde of zombies, you can try to act like one of them, but only long enough to get out of reach.6

Step 4: Early Strategies

  • In the early stages of an outbreak how you defend yourself is going to determine how far you advance as a survivor. There are a number of important strategies to self-defense that may seem simple, but are equally important.

Running

  • Running may sound like the simplest advice in the world, but when it comes to the traditional Hollywood zombie, it is probably your best defense. Since most traditional zombies move very slowly, run away as fast as you can, and never look back.4

Hiding

  • With zombies walking around everywhere, you're going to need to find a safe place to hide. The best hiding place is a place that's easy to defend and provides survival necessities like food, water, first aid supplies, tools and weapons.
Make sure to fortify a position with as few large entrances as possible. You can probably figure out why. (Creative Commons photo by Jayel Aheram)
Make sure to fortify a position with as few large entrances as possible. You can probably figure out why. (Creative Commons photo by Jayel Aheram)
  • Good hiding places:
  1. School or university buildings, preferably with a cafeteria.3
  2. The supermarket.12
  3. Shopping malls or department stores.4
  4. Superstores like Wal Mart or Target.3
  • Bad hiding places:
  1. Shopping malls can be a dangerous hiding place because there are too many entrances to guard.3
  2. Basements, houses and garages are no escape zones.6
  3. A car to which you don't have the keys.7
  4. Any building that offers a way in and no way out.
  5. Elevators. Remember there are reasons they say to avoid elevators in an emergency. Consider Zombies one of those reasons.

Buddy Up

  • Remember: anyone who has been bitten by a zombie cannot be saved. It's only a matter of time before they turn and put your entire survival operation at risk. A zombie attack is not the time to get emotional or nostalgic. Take out your gun and put down anyone who has been infected before it's too late.2

Step 5: Long Term Survival

  • There is no telling how long a zombie attack will last. If the virus runs rampant across the entire country, your only hope for survival is a long term plan.
  1. Don't put all of your stock in a big government or military rescue. Immediately resign yourself to the notion that you are on your own.13
  2. Research disaster survival now.
    1. When the zombies appear, wilderness survival will be handy for more than just outdoorsy types and paranoid Luddites. (Creative Commons photo by Sugar Pond)
      When the zombies appear, wilderness survival will be handy for more than just outdoorsy types and paranoid Luddites. (Creative Commons photo by Sugar Pond)
      Learn how to survive in the wilderness.14
      • Zombies are less likely to be found in places with fewer people to feast on, so consider taking to the woods.
    2. Skills like hunting, fishing, identifying nonpoisonous plants for food, building a fire without matches and finding safe shelter are a must-have.14
    3. Practice your survival skills so you are ready when the time comes.13
  3. Learn safety and first aid beforehand so you can take care of other survivors.15
  4. In all group situations it is essential to establish leadership. If you aren't comfortable in this position, support someone who is.16
    1. Stable leadership is essential to community survival.
    2. A good leader will make sure survivors feel a familiar sense of comfort and stability in a world gone mad.16
    3. They will also ensure that things get done right.
  5. Taking over and fortifying a superstore is your best chance at longterm survival, especially if you have a group of survivors working together.3
    1. If you can get the tap water to work, fill every available container in the store with it so you have a good supply of fresh water.3
    2. Ration current food and supplies.
      • Take into consideration the expiration dates and spoilage of certain foods.
    3. You should have a pretty good stock of batteries for things like flashlights and two way radios.3
    4. Indoor gardening will provide you with food. Head to the garden center and start hauling planting soil and seeds to the roof.3
      • If you live in a region that has harsh winters, you may want to try growing indoors.
    5. Access to plumbing and running water probably won't last long. You'll want to set aside an area of the roof for human waste so it doesn't contaminate your living space.3
  6. Worst Case Scenario: If you find yourself stranded and your chance of survival is slim, you may want to consider ending your life before you starve to death. Starving to death almost guarantees that you come back from the dead hungrier than ever.12

Conclusion

  • Unfortunately, there are no guarantees when it comes to zombies. They have evolved in Hollywood in ways no one ever imagined, and an actual attack may be nothing like we'd expect. It isn't certain how long they will survive once their food supply is cut off, so long-term planning is the most effective way to ensure your survival in the face of disaster. Keep a clear head, put together a plan and remember that sometimes the best strategy is a good pair of running shoes.

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References for How to Survive a Zombie Attack

  1. ↑ USHistory.org: The Electric Ben Franklin
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 WikiHowl: How to Survive a Zombie Attack
  3. ↑ 3.00 3.01 3.02 3.03 3.04 3.05 3.06 3.07 3.08 3.09 3.10 3.11 3.12 3.13 3.14 Kuro5hin: How to Survive a Zombie Attack
  4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 4.2 4.3 4.4 4.5 4.6 4.7 MTV: How Do You Survive A Zombie Attack? Scary-Movie Vets Roth, Tarantino, Raimi Give Advice (October 30, 2007)
  5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 5.2 5.3 Wired: How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse(April 30, 2008)
  6. ↑ 6.0 6.1 6.2 Zombies: How to Survive a Zombie Attack
  7. ↑ 7.0 7.1 HowStuffWorks: How Zombies Work: Zombie Survival
  8. ↑ 8.0 8.1 8.2 8.3 8.4 8.5 8.6 Random House: The Zombie Survival Guide
  9. ↑ 9.0 9.1 9.2 Zombies: Types of Zombies
  10. ↑ 10.0 10.1 10.2 Zombie Warning: How to Identify a Zombie
  11. ↑ 11.0 11.1 eHow: How to Identify a Zombie
  12. ↑ 12.0 12.1 12.2 12.3 Seopher: How to Survive a Zombie Attack in Britain (November 12, 2006)
  13. ↑ 13.0 13.1 Survival Topics: 9-Point Survival Plan
  14. ↑ 14.0 14.1 Wilderness Survival: Train to Survive
  15. ↑ Lace to Leather: Survival Essentials
  16. ↑ 16.0 16.1 Zombie Survival & Defense Wiki: How to Maintain Leadership in an Undead World
Related Pages on Mahalo

Zombies | George Romero | Solanum Virus | How to Survive a Natural Disaster | Quentin Tarantino | Sam Raimi | Night of the Living Dead | 28 Days Later | Voodoo | 28 Weeks Later | The Zombie Survival Guide | How to Make a Smoke Bomb



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