How to Land a Crush

Guide Note

If you're in love and you need help getting close to that beautiful creature who makes your heart flutter from across the room, help is at hand. This page will help you learn how to catch your crush's attention, assess her feelings, and ask her out.

Table of Contents

Tips to Land a Crush

  1. Be yourself (on your best behavior).
  2. Talk about mutually interesting subjects when you're together.
  3. Use meaningful eye contact to demonstrate your interest.
  4. Learn how to flirt, and then flirt your heart out.
  5. Respect your potential love interest's limits.

Introduction

Object of Affection. (Creative Commons photo by Mushi)
Object of Affection. (Creative Commons photo by Mushi)
  • You've met someone you really like and you have a feeling, or maybe just a hope, that he likes you back. It's time for action! Even though it means risking your ego, taking a chance is better than sitting back and letting life pass you by. You need to get ready to assess your crush's interest, find out what he's saying about you, and then take action to make your dreams come true.
  • Men and women alike should read on to learn how best to develop a relationship with this potential paramour.

Step 1: Prepare Yourself

  • Before you pursue your crush, make sure that you're at your personal best. Liking yourself is the first step to convincing others to love you too.
  1. Prepare for a relationship: Get in emotional shape for a romantic relationship. You need to be able to handle the challenges of dating and relationships, including the prospect of rejection.
  2. Take Inventory: Take stock of your attributes and what you have to offer. Know how much your time, attention and love are worth before you offer them to another.
  3. Look your best: Dress and groom yourself to enhance your personal style.
    • Don't do a complete style overhaul! You'll be more comfortable if you're in your (best) regular duds.

NOTE: Crushes can stir up intense emotions. Getting your feelings under control before you pursue your love interest will increase your chances of coming off cool. That's a double score: one point for your self-esteem and one for your love life!

Step 2: Assess Behavior

Making Eye Contact. (Creative Commons photo by Andy)
Making Eye Contact. (Creative Commons photo by Andy)
  • You can learn a lot from your love interest's stolen glances and conversation. Here's how to use behavioral clues to assess your crush's feelings.
  1. Intense eye contact: Be alert to penetrating gazes that are held for a few seconds before the person looks away.
  2. Dilated pupils: Try to see if the pupils of your crush's eyes dilate when he looks at you; this is a telltale sign that your crush has feelings for you too.
  3. Raised Eyebrows: Look at the object of your affection's eyebrows when he looks at you. If they move up and down, it could indicate attraction.
  4. Blinking: Look for fluttering eyelids. People blink more frequently when they look at someone they're attracted to.
  5. Triangular eye contact: Look for eye contact that moves in a triangle from eye to eye, gazing intensely into each, and then moves over the body and lingers on the mouth. "Just friends" eye contact focuses only on the eyes and nose.
  6. Matching your movements: When you talk to your crush, does she match or "mirror" your gestures? This can indicate whether or not someone is connecting with you. Mirroring is not a guaranteed sign of romantic interest, but it does point to a sense of intimacy, common among both good friends and romantic partners.
  7. Pointing: When you are in the same room, does your crush unknowingly direct major body parts toward you? Take a look at which direction her arms, legs, feet and hands point. This could indicate that she's into you.
  8. Male mating behavior: Does he thrust out his chest when he's talking to you? According to Psychology Today, research indicates that human male mating rituals are a lot like those of other species; a prominent, puffed up chest could mean that your crush is trying to express his masculine, dominant nature to you.
  9. Female mating behavior: Does she smile, open her eyes fully to look at you and then glance away? Does she hide behind her hands? The experts at Psychology Today say this means a woman is truly interested.

Step 3: Conversational Reconnaissance

  • Talking to your love interest can tell you volumes about his level of interest.
  1. Does your crush pay attention to you and ask you a lot of questions about yourself?
  2. Does he recall things that you've said in previous conversations?
  3. Have you heard reports that he talks about you to other people?
  4. Does he try to impress you with his financial success or business prowess?

TIP: Use these conversations to assess your interest as well. Are you truly attracted to this person, or were you drawn to a fantasy you'd built up?

Third Party Information

  • What he says to you is important, but what he says about you may be even more so. To find out what she really thinks about you, enlist a wingman to obtain essential information about your crush's dating status and pursuits.
  1. The wingman's job is to find out your crush's feelings for you without giving away your interest.
  2. He or she can ask if your crush is single, and if so, if she has her eye on anyone at the moment.
  3. Though discretion is the better part of valor, it never hurts if your sidekick sings your praises to your crush.

Step 4: Express Your Interest

A Conversation. (Creative Commons photo by Mafe de Baggis)
A Conversation. (Creative Commons photo by Mafe de Baggis)
  • So, you've examined all of the evidence and concluded that your crush just might like you back. What's next? Well, it's time to express your interest. Begin with subtle gestures that don't give your feelings away entirely. In other words, flirt.

Conversation

  1. Start by talking about something you have in common. You won't need to fake an interest in the subject.
  2. Ask a lot of questions about her. You'll get to know your crush better while demonstrating your interest.
  3. Once you get to know her better, brush up on culture, gossip and comedy and crack a few jokes.
  4. Relax when talking to this person. If you're not a bundle of nerves, you'll be able to dazzle your crush with your personality and sense of humor.

Body Language

  • You can demonstrate interest with your eyes and your body movements whenever you're in close proximity.
  1. Stare at your crush for a few intense moments before looking away.
  2. Your gaze should keep returning to his lips.
  3. Raise your eyebrows and hold them up for an extra moment when making eye contact.
  4. Blink frequently when you're face to face. The "blink rate" increases when one feels attraction, so encourage your crush to participate in this contagious behavior. It might pique his interest.
  5. Turn your body toward him so he picks up on the physical signs of attraction.
  6. Mimic your crush's gestures while talking to make it clear that you're engrossed in the conversation.

Step 5: Cultivate Intrigue

  • If you are a playful person and you believe that your crush can handle a cat-and-mouse game of intrigue, use seduction techniques to hold her attention and increase her attraction to you.
  1. Appear Choosy: Express interest in your crush while vocalizing your disinterest in other women. This will demonstrate your unattainability without making it difficult for your crush to pursue you.
  2. Mix Signals: Combine intense eye contact with boring conversation to direct the object of your interest's attention away from the chit chat and toward the visual connection.
  3. Bond through danger: Try to initiate a situation that feels dangerous. If your love interest feels her heart pounding when she's sitting next to you on a roller coaster, she might associate it with romantic feelings.
  4. Make Key Allies: If you have the opportunity to meet your crush's friends and family, make a good impression. Getting your crush's inner circle in your corner will help to secure her affection.

Step 6: Move In For the Kill

  • If your crush responded positively to flirtation, it's time to crawl a little further out on the limb and ask him out.
  1. Invite your crush to a group event before asking him out on a date. This way you can test your chemistry in a comfortable environment.
  2. If the group activity goes well, come up with a first date plan that you think he would enjoy.
  3. Approach him when you're alone together. This will prevent interruptions and public embarrassment.
  4. Ask him out. You've already considered what he likes to do, right? So ask him if he'd "like to meet up" to participate in one of his favorite activities, be it bowling or going on a picnic. Keep it light. Keep it fun. Just don't use the word "date".


Conclusion

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