How to Deal with Picky Eaters

• by J.M.Brown

Introduction

• Kids are notorious for being picky eaters. Whether they hate vegetables, only like red foods or just don't like the mashed potatoes to touch the peas, kids drive their parents crazy wondering if their child's picky eating habits provide adequate nutrition.

• Fortunately, as long as your child hasn't had a dramatic change in weight, he or she is probably getting enough calories. If, however, you're worried that your little one isn't eating a balanced diet, the following tips can help cure your picky eater once and for all.

Step 1: Be the Boss

• Being a picky eater is actually normal developmental behavior: the evolutionary defense to avoid poisonous new foods. If, however, you suspect your child's behavior is a power play, then you need to gain control of the situation.

• As the parent, you are the boss even if the stubborn look on your child's face says otherwise. So as the boss, you make the rules. If your child refuses to eat dinner, that's fine, just don't engage in a battle of wills—the three-year-old will always win. Instead, allow your child to be excused from the dinner table and don't provide her with any more food the rest of the night. When she's hungry at breakfast time, she'll be a lot less picky. By setting rules and enforcing the consequences, your child will learn mealtime is not a power struggle.

Don't Negotiate

• Negotiating with your child undermines your authority. Once you make a rule stick to it and remember the following:

1. Keep calm.
2. Be consistent.
3. Don't give up.

Don't Force Kids to Eat

• The worst you can do when dealing with a picky eater is force your child to eat. You might think you are playing your role as boss to perfection, but forcing your child to eat enforces bad eating habits by teaching your child to overeat. Overeating contributes to childhood and adult obesity.

• So as the boss, you do make the rules, but never impose the "clean your plate" rule. Instead, listen to your child's complaints about the food and try to remedy them. For example, if your child states he's not hungry, serve smaller portions and limit snacking before meals so your child is hungry at mealtime.

Food is Not a Reward

• When your child does follow your rules don't serve desert as a reward. Kids need to learn that eating is meant to satisfy hunger. Bribing your child to try new foods by offering a desert or even just punishing your child for not eating new foods will not have the desired result. Not only is bribery a bad strategy for teaching healthy eating habits, but could also lead to emotional eating later in life. Bribery also sends the message that doing the right thing involves outside rewards.

• WebMD advises that if you want to offer a desert, do so regardless if your child eats dinner. Another option is to serve the desert with dinner. The desert should be yummy and nutritious.

Explain Why

• Explaining why you have certain rules will not undermine your authority. In fact, explanations like "because I said so" or "I'm the mother, that's why" can only hurt your cause. You will achieve the best results if your child understands the reasoning behind the rules so explain healthy eating habits as you go. Your rules will become the building blocks for your child's healthy food choices.

• If you've conquered the power struggle at the dinner table, but your child still displays picky eating habits, then you are ready to expand your child's menu using the following steps.

Step 2: Plan Healthy Menus

• WebMD suggests kids eat a healthy diet, which includes:

1. Whole grains
2. Lean meats
3. Poultry
4. Seafood
5. Eggs
6. Legumes
7. Fruits
8. Vegetables

• WebMD also says kids should eat at least two servings of dairy per day to get enough calcium.

Don't Serve Junk Food

• Junk food is not limited to fatty and sugary snacks. A lot of times, parents rely on unhealthy "kid food" such as hot dogs and chicken nuggets to get their child to eat, but, it is just as easy to feed your child simple healthy meals.

• If you only expose your child to healthy foods, then that's what she will crave. Treats should be served sparingly. Instead of buying cookies and chips, buy fresh fruits and vegetables to serve as snacks.

• Here are some nutritious options:

1. Fruit and vegetables
2. Fruit smoothies
3. Milk
4. Yogurt
5. Whole grain granola bars
6. Pretzels
7. 100% juice
8. Whole grain crackers with cheese or peanut butter
9. Cereal with milk
10. Fig Newtons

Be a Good Role Model

• If you don't eat healthy foods, neither will your child. Kids are impressionable. Even if you're not aware, your child learns from watching you. So, set a good example by eating a variety of healthy foods. It's a good bet your child will want to eat what you eat.

• If you have trouble eating healthy foods, prepare foods the way you like to eat them, even if it means drowning broccoli in cheese sauce or cooking vegetables with butter and salt. Eating healthy does not mean eating fat-free, taste-free foods; eating healthy means making wise choices. It doesn't matter how you prepare the food. What matters is that your child see you enjoying the food.

• In addition to modeling good eating habits, talk positively about food and avoid discussing calories and diets. Hide your food dislikes and never say you don't like a food because this will enforce negative food associations.

Make a List

• Making a list of foods your child does eat will help you determine if your child is eating foods from each of the five food groups.

• Once you figure out what is missing from your child's diet, meet nutritional needs by introducing new foods similar to those your child already likes. Plan a menu that includes at least one food your child does like at each meal.

Step 3: Broaden Your Child's Tastes

Just One Bite

• Encourage your child to try just one bite of every food on the plate. This goal might seem small, but is more realistic than forcing your child to eat a whole serving. If your child is reluctant, try offering to taste a bite together. Once your child does try a new food, be sure to praise her for her efforts.

Exposure Your Child to New Foods

• Even if your kid refuses to try a bite of food, repeatedly exposing your child to new healthy foods helps train your child's palate. If exposed to new foods often enough, your child will learn to accept new tastes.

• About.com lists the following tips for broadening your child's palate:

1. Choose a new food and put it on the table every night for a month.
2. When your child tries a new food, don't judge her tastes. It's okay if she spits it in her napkin. Ask your child what she dislikes about the food so you can tweak the recipe and try again.
3. Let your child see you eating the new food and enjoying it.
4. Keep mealtime calm and peaceful.

Step 4: Be Creative

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

• Cook creatively by sneaking in fruits and vegetables. While exposing your child to healthy food is important, sometimes making sure they receive adequate nutrition requires a little trickery. Sneak vegetables into your child's diet by grating vegetables into meatloaf, rice and pasta. You can also try creative cooking techniques to turn new foods into familiar staples. For example, use this recipe from About.com to turn butternut squash into crispy fries.

• Slip fruits into your child's diet by pureeing fruit until smooth and adding to pancakes or other bake goods. Fruits also make refreshing smoothies. Try this great smoothie recipe from About.com, your child will love to eat it as a snack or even a desert.

Make Mealtime Fun

• In addition to creative cooking maneuvers, turn mealtime into a game. Relaxed kids are more likely to try different foods. So even though manners are important, encouraging kids to play with their food promotes familiarity with new foods.

• Here are a couple creative tips to make eating fun:

1. Dip it. Kids respond to foods you can dip so serve vegetables with low-fat ranch dressing, yogurt, peanut butter or ketchup.
2. Every so often, make meals a unique experience by creating a theme-inspired menu. iVillage lists these great ideas:
   1. Picnic on the Bed
   2. Color Night: all food is the same color
   3. Afternoon Tea Party
3. Arrange food into fun shapes such as Mickey Mouse, an animal or a face.

Let Kids Participate

• Kids are more likely to eat a wide variety of foods if they have helped plan and prepare the meals. Encouraging your child to participate can be as easy as allowing your child to pick out healthy new foods they want to try. Including kids in the decision-making process shows that you care about their opinion and makes them feel as if they have control over what they eat. Offer limited choices like "Do you want carrots or peas for dinner?" Never offer junk food as a choice, and refrain from asking "yes or no" questions.

• Here are some great ways to get your child involved:

1. Take your child grocery shopping.
2. Make the farmers market a family outing.
3. Plant a garden with your child.
4. Create family style meals so kids can serve themselves. Taco bars are fun way to do this.
5. Allow your child to help with simple cooking tasks.

Step 5: Make One Meal for the Whole Family

• Don't make separate meals according to the likes and dislikes of each child. Separate meals encourage picky eating habits because it tells kids being demanding is okay. Instead, serve at least one item everyone likes at every meal.

• Now while you shouldn't prepare separate meals for your kids, keep in mind that kids do have less sophisticated tastes than adults. To please all members of the family, WebMD advises doing one nutritious entree two ways. For example, roast chicken with buttered noodles for the kids becomes roast chicken with brown butter and Mizithra cheese over pasta for adults. Eventually your child will want to try your version of the dish.

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Resources for How to Deal with Picky Eaters

• Parenthood.com: When Picky Eating Becomes a Health Problem
• Parenthood.com: Is Your Child a Picky Eater?
• About.com: Picky Eaters  
• About.com: Why It's Normal for Children to Be Picky Eaters  
• About.com: Developing Healthy Eating Habits for Finicky Babies and Toddlers  
• About.com: Familiarity Breeds Enjoyment  
• About.com: Feeding Picky Eaters (Video)  
• eHow.com: How to Cook for a Picky Eater
• eHow.com: How to Deal with a Picky Eating Toddler
• eHow.com: How to Keep Your Cool at Mealtime with a Picky Eater
• WebMD: Picky Eaters: Recipes to Feed the Whole Family
• WebMD: Serve Up Good Nutrition for Preschool Children
• WebMD: Picky Eating May Be Genetic
• WebMD: Strategies for Raising Healthy Eaters
• iVillage: More Ideas for Picky Eaters
• iVillage: Fun Food Ideas for Picky Eaters
• iVillage: Feeding Your Toddler: Tricky Business
• iVillage: Should I Use Snacks as a Reward
• Family Education: Limited Eaters: Survival Tips for Parents
• Family Education: Getting Your Picky Child to Eat
• Family Education: How to Handle a Picky Eater

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