Futurama Quotes


The Mahalo Top 7

  1. IMDb: Futurama Memorable Quotes WARNING: Pop-ups
  2. Can't Get Enough Futurama: Futurama Episode Guide Evan: Complete with quotes/sound clips from each episode!
  3. Wikiquote: Futurama
  4. Soundboard.com: Futurama Sounds | Fry Sounds | Zoidberg Sounds | Zapp Brannigan Sounds
  5. Thinkexist.com: Futurama Quotes
  6. Omicron Persei Eight: Futurama - Quotes
  7. Retro Junk: Futurama - Quotes  WARNING: Ad-heavy

Futurama Top Quotes

Fry

  • Omicron Persei Eight: Futurama Quotes
    • "Clever things make people feel stupid and unexpected things make them feel scared."
    • "I'll be whatever I wanna do."
    • "It's like that drug trip in that movie I saw when I was on that drug trip."
    • "I can't wait until I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff."
  • Wikiquote: Futurama Quotes
    • "It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?"
    • "No, I'm... doesn't!"
    • "It's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's throwing up."
    • "My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?"
    • "They're like sex, except I'm having it."
  • IMDb: Futurama - Memorable Quotes
    • "I thought Ultimate Robot Fighting was real, like pro wrestling; but it turns out it's fixed, like boxing."
    • "Dear Horse God, I know I don't usually pray to you. Sometimes I doubt you even exist, but if you're willing to grant me luck... please... stamp your hoof once."

Bender

    • "Oh. Your. God."
    • "They're not very heavy, but you don't hear me not complaning."
    • "Everybody's a jerk. You, me, this jerk."
    • "You're watching Futurama, the show that doesn't condone the cool crime of robbery."
    • "Life can be hilariously cruel."
  • Wikiquote: Futurama Quotes
    • "Fry, as you know, there are lots of things I'm willing to kill for: jewels, vengeance, Father O'Mallee's weed-whacker. But at long last I've found something I'm willing to die for... This mindless turtle."
    • "Let's face it, comedy's a dead art form. Tragedy, now that's funny."
    • "Great is OK, but amazing would be GREAT."
    • "Congratulations Fry, you've snagged the perfect girlfriend. Amy's rich, she's probably got other characteristics..."

Leela

  • Omicron Persei Eight: Futurama Quotes
    • "Look Fry, you're a man and I'm a woman. We're just too different."
    • "Alright, this is the third hose fight I've broken up today, and the second using actual hoses."
    • "This is Fry's decision. And he made it wrong, so it's time for us to interfere in his life."
    • "Look, I don't know if shooting penguins will help the environment or not. But I do know that the decision shouldn't be in the hands of people who just wanna kill for fun."
  • Wikiquote: Futurama Quotes
    • "I'll find Fry's coffin, get his corpse, and keep it under my mattress to remind me that he's really dead. That'll prove I'm not insane!"
    • "Who would have thought Hell would really exist? And that it would be in New Jersey?"

Zapp Brannigan

  • Wikiquote: Futurama Quotes
    • "Why'd you open your bong hole you smelly hippie? You'd sacrifice a beautiful woman to save a moderately attractive monkey?"
    • "I've never heard of such a brutal and shocking injustice that I cared so little about."
    • "One day a man has everything, the next day he blows up a $400 billion space station, and the next day he has nothing. It makes you think."
    • "If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate."
  • ParseError.com: Futurama Quotes
    • "Here's to us schmoes, working for the man. Even if he is a hot, sexy, female man."

Zoidberg

  • Wikiquote: Futurama Quotes
    • "The president is gagging on my gas bladder! What an honor!"
  • Omicron Persei Eight: Futurama Quotes
    • "I don't trust that doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's even treated."
    • "And that's how I got my new shell. It looks just like the shell I threw out yesterday, and I found it in the same dumpster, but this one had a live racoon inside."
    • "Instead of 'claus' he writes 'claws'. Now that's humorous! Today's comedians could learn from this card."
    • "It's toe-tappingly tragic!"

Other Characters

  • ParseError.com: Futurama Quotes
    • Hermes: "I don't want you to worry about your jobs while you're away. That's why I'm firing you now."
    • Professor Farnsworth: "And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet Nibbler who has gone to a place I too hope one day to go. The toilet."
    • Professor Farnsworth: "Everyone, I have a very dramatic announcement, so anyone with a weak heart should leave now. Goodbye!"
  • Omicron Persei Eight: Futurama Quotes
    • Amy: "Wow, sporty go-kart, Leela! It's so hip and sexy, not like you at all."
    • Amy: "Hey, let's go car shopping! My parents said if I got all B's they'd buy me a bar. And I got all C's!"
    • Hermes: "I'm gonna go home and relax, the traditional, Jamaican way - a glass of warm milk and a good night's sleep."
    • Professor Farnsworth: "Yes, it's a perfect scale model of the universe's largest bottle. I put a tiny spaceship inside to keep it from being boring."
  • Wikiquote: Futurama Quotes
    • Calculon: "I just pray they like me half as much as I do"
  • TV.com: "Bend Her" Episode Quotes
    • Calculon: (After watching a clip in which he screamed "Nooo!") "Funny story, the script called for me to say 'yes' but I gave it a little twist."

Dialogue

  • Can't Get Enough Futurama: Episode Guide
    • Zoidberg: "Now open your mouth and let's have a look at that brain. No, no, no, not that mouth."
    • Fry: "I only have one."
    • Zoidberg: "Really?"
    • Fry: "Uh...is there a human doctor around?"
    • Zoidberg: "Young lady! I'm an expert on humans. Now pick a mouth, open it, and say" (warbling noise)
    • Fry: "Uh.." (clears throat and does his best imitation)
    • Zoidberg: "What! My mother was a saint!!! Get out!"
  • Wikiquote: Futurama Quotes
    • Leela: "I feel like I just went ten rounds with Mighty Thor."
    • Fry: "I feel like I was mauled by Jesus."
    • Professor Farnsworth: "If you killed your grandfather, you'd cease to exist!"
    • Fry: "But existing is basically all I do!"
    • President Truman: "Why have you come here? Are you planning on making some alien-human hybrid?"
    • Dr. Zoidberg: "Are you coming on to me?!"
    • President Truman: "Hot crackers! I take exception to that!"
    • Dr. Zoidberg: "I'm not hearing a 'no'..."
    • Zapp Brannigan: "This whole sector is uncharted."
    • Kif: "It is not uncharted, you lost the chart!"
    • Bender: "What's with you kids? Every few days it's food, food, food. Alright, I'll get you some stupid food."
    • Orphan: "Can we have Bender Burgers again?"
    • Bender: "No. The cat shelter's on to me!"
    • Fry: "I'm Santa Claus!"
    • Hermes: "No, I'm Santa Claus!"
    • Amy: "We're also Santa Claus!"
    • Dr. Zoidberg: "And I'm his friend Jesus."
    • Mayor: "None of you are Santa Claus! How dare you lie in front of Jesus!"
  • Things.org: The Problem With Popplers
    • Hippie: "You can't own property, man!"
    • Professor Farnsworth: "I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippie."
  • Wikipedia: Zapp Brannigan
    • Zapp: "You're the only woman who ever loved me!"
    • Leela: "I never loved you!"
    • Zapp: "I mean physically!"

Futurama Quotes Videos