Cartman HIV

Cartman HIV Plot Summary

Act One

  • Eric Cartman is informed that he must have his tonsils removed. He does not want to go to the hospital at first, but agrees after the promise of free ice cream.
  • After the operation, Cartman is looking forward to his ice cream, when the doctor informs him that they accidentally infected him with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.
  • Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are brought into the principal's office at South Park Elementary School where they are told about Cartman's ailment. They are shocked at first, but Kyle has a hard time containing his laughter.
  • At a benefit for Cartman, only Butters and Jimmy show up, and Jimmy Buffett plays on stage instead of Elton John. Cartman is informed by a hostess that AIDS just isn't the trendy disease it used to be, and that cancer draws all the attention now.
  • In an effort to get back at Kyle for finding his disease humorous, he has Butters help him sneak into Kyle's room in the middle of the night. Cartman draws some of his own blood with a syringe and squirts it into Kyle's mouth.

Act Two

  • Kyle does not feel good and his mother takes him to the doctor's office. The doctor asks him if he has been having unprotected anal sex, which Kyle denies. The doctor informs him that he has HIV. Kyle immediately suspects that Cartman infected him.
  • Kyle confronts Cartman on the playground and they fight. In front of the principal, Cartman admits to purposefully infecting Kyle with HIV. Cartman apologizes but Kyle cannot accept this. Kyle runs to Cartman's house and begins to destroy all of his possessions.
  • Cartman calms Kyle down by bringing up Magic Johnson. He says that Magic Johnson got AIDS years before and is still fine. Cartman convinces Kyle to travel to Los Angeles to find out the secret through Magic Johnson's genetic code.

Act Three

  • Cartman and Kyle visit Magic Johnson, who isn't sure why he was able to beat AIDS. After seeing that Johnson sleeps around a big pile of money, they visit an AIDS Research Center. The scientists discover that a large quantity of cash sends the HIV virus into recession.
  • The scientists create a concentrated vaccine made of cash, which cures Kyle.
  • A large SUV pulls up to a poor area in Nigeria. A white man gets out and tells them that all they have to do to cure themselves of AIDS is to infect themselves with about $180,000 worth of cash.
  • To celebrate Kyle and Cartman's breakthrough, they are presented with a Jimmy Buffett concert, where he plays his hit song "AIDS Burgers in Paradise".

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